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[pineapplebryanbrown]

Hello - this is the advice clinic, please come in. We are a team of untrained but experienced kindly Agony Aunts. There's no judgement here, even if you are a filthy, drunken old slag.

I imagine it's not possible to
have a decent shag with an Ian/Iain.

It doesn't seem likely diesut Thigh ? I've never heard anyone go 'Phwoooooorrrr it's that Ian, he's well fit and an excellent shag!'

It's as appealing as that plate of fried spiders!

Dangly I don't know any Ian/Iain personally, but I can think if a few actors I'd say that about. Ian McShane, Iain Glen. OK, they are both old and not as cute as they once were. but neither am I.

I googled and there is Ian Somerhalder, who looks like Rob Lowe did 35 years ago, so that's something. I'd say that about him if he couldn't hear me and be creeped out about the granny checking him out.

1more oh blimey! That's put the cat amongst the pigeons!

We were just about to biro them all to death unless they set up a direct debit of easy monthly payments!

Shall we leats few?

• leave a few

obvs a few must stay, we'll have to organize a ballot and have a vote. that sounds like work. never mind.

1more interesting, I'd do all those Ian/Iains. Iain Glen looks like pure filth in a Sean Bean way. Somerhalder has those pretty looks that make you want to break a man via shagging. Always suspected Rob Lowe has a teeny weeny though, he's a bit dainty.

like Sean bean, he aged very rough, but was very pretty in his twenties.

images.app.goo.gl/96vEKvM39KskruYc7

Hi 1more that is a great idea having a nameless shag available, like the blank tile in Scrabble! That makes life easier.

Poot here I was worrying about Ws! I forgot you shagged Winston Churchill.

I can contribute a nameless one too. If only I could forget the actual encounter too.

It depends what we mean by nameless, I knew at the time but only have flashes of memory now. Like a coma patient.

I used to have a nightmare that someone would gather them all together in a village hall and throw me a surprise party. Then they'd all look at each other and say "hang on, what's my brother doing here?"

I did know his name at the time. He invited me on a date at a location beyond Zone 6.

Have you got any twins in your collection of brothers?

Paul from the remedial class would be shocked to see his form tutor there.

No, but one of my husbands was a twin! His wife kept her beady eye on me though. The twins wife had the same name as me (not Thigh).

I didn't know it was possible to date beyond zone 6.

I don't like the look of those Ian's so I reckon they all go, no exceptions. I have never shagged an Ian and never would on account of the name.

I couldn't do the alphabet of shags because I haven't shagged enough to be honest. Perhaps it's my small mamory glands.

Oh do you just have some missing letters? I might be able to help, can't do the whole alphabet though.

TT F, L, Y and Z are still unaccounted for.

I would shag the Ians, but then kill them. I think that's a happy medium.

But not eat them, like a spider.

Harvest their organs for cash.

I have lots of work to do today but can't be bothered & am feeling a wee bit hungover. What should I do?