Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions?

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Hello - this is the advice clinic, please come in. We are a team of untrained but experienced kindly Agony Aunts. There's no judgement here, even if you are a filthy, drunken old slag.

Can I have a murdering robot please? I can make them look like people with my haunted wax skillz.

Fab reg that is just the sort of thing we need. Can you make me one that looks like a cute little Guide Dog puppy?

Many thanks Thigh will check it out.

Reg with your magik skillz could you fashion me a robot that looks like Triangle, you drew him for me once so you will have the prototype on file no doubt.

Advice clinic: I've never done a cartwheels. I should like to. How do I start when my joints are starting to get cross with me after years of hard and fast living?

Frown what is the motive here?

Yes let's get to the "why" before we actually give any advice?

Frown could you do a cartwheel in your head?

TTT it's so that I can ping at people like a ninja.

thigh my head IS a cartwheel alas :(

Oh alright then might watch some youtube tutorials and have a tumble on the village green

You could get yourself lashed to an actual cartwheel and get the feeling of going round and round. Would that help?

Cartwheels are good. Having watched people try and learn, the main fear seems to be that their arms won't support them, but that is unwarranted. I have zero upper body strength but I can cartwheel. It's just a matter of getting more confident and getting your legs higher.

Frown that is a very good reason to learn to cartwheel.

I used to try and try to cartwheel in the playground, I was obsessed I was one of the 'non-cartwheelers' and used to ogle the 'cartwheelers' with envy! One day I cracked it and moved p a notch into the elite 'cartwheeler' clan.

You too could master these skillz that I have long left behind me at primary school.

Go onto the grass and think about Karate Kid.

I send you 'cartwheeler' vibes.

Dangly thank you for vibes

Glad you mastered it, maestro.

I'll probably end up with a bandaged head and stern letter from the local council about defiling their pristine lawns after my hands flail around ripping it up and I headbutt it.

I could be your Mrs Miyagi

Frownette-san paint the fence! Frownette-san wax the car ...

I haven't RTFT yet, and am slightly pissed, but pondering a metaphysical question DD1 asked me earlier, viz -

Do headlice have cross little faces?

Any thoughts?

Johnny, i know they're horrible, itchy buggers, but they're quite sweet to look at (from the safety of my screen - I don't want to look at one irl).

Johnny Having raised my kids in the 90's I personally feel that lice are little bitches with faces to match. Your DD sounds quite correct to me.

Dog your version of 'sweet to look at' and mine are not quite the same!!

I think it looks quite endearing.

I'd prefer a lovely tortoise although i don't own one.

What about his lovely one?

I don’t think that’s a tortoise, TTT.

'This' I meant but it might be his.

No it's not TL but it's "sweet to look at"

It looks like Trump!!!

TTT is that a really fat headlouse? (no judgement).