Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions?

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Hello - this is the advice clinic, please come in. We are a team of untrained but experienced kindly Agony Aunts. There's no judgement here, even if you are a filthy, drunken old slag.

Do you know what? This is the solution to the conundrum we always have here! We have great plans for mass destruction, but then nobody can be arsed to go out and activate them so robots are the obvious answer!

I would like a Dangly Robot with an integral lethal fanny weapon! It could take out Trump for me with the unripe advocados.

Dangly yes! The answer has been staring us in the face all this time........Thigh already has robot vacuum cleaners, so it is but a step to Robot Killers. She can get ordinary dust sucking robots and train them to kill! Nobody will guess, it's like when a Guide Dog puppy is in someone's home to be trained. dog could definitely foster a robot, and so could mrscat. When the killer robots are fully trained we can release them on an unsuspecting world!!

I am making a long list of targets.

Yes Pooter !! Genius, and maybe the robots will be able to vacuum for their foster mothers in the meantime!

Bisha laminate a little card that says "I've got a bone in my leg" and produce it when challenged!

This is part of the issue. There is no bone

My sign shall say ‘I’ve got no bone in my leg. Feed me.’

TT tell me about this high security job.

I'll definitely sign up to foster a murder/vacuum-robot-in-training. Will i have to take it out with me everywhere i go, like you do with a guide dog puppy? Will it have a sign on it's lead to warn others not to approach it? That would work very much in my favour, i would keep the sign after i return the robot and just wear it to keep everyone away on the rare occasions i have to venture out.

I wonder if TT is in a position of power in her high security job and how that could be abused in our favour?

The high security log in is nothing to do with power I'm afraid. It's simply annoying.

Will the robots look like robots or people?

We could program all the names like Ian and Sean into them and they could just go and kill them in creative and unusual ways.

We don't need a zombie apocalypse! it will be more of a robot apocalypse and we will have all the control!

But how will I use my tractor for the good cause? Perhaps the robots could use it as a disguise?

TTT Are you not worried about where ants might have got to?

I was too slow for the mobility scooters thread, it's been deleted.

lido why was it deleted? Hope we don't get reported for fostering killer robots.

Those scooters can be a menace. In Skegness they are popular with non disabled people who can't be arsed to walk from the caravan sites into town. So they never get to burn off their fish suppers or candyfloss. There have been a few near misses!

TTT you could foster a robot lawn mower, which is like a tractor!

BTW if I get a very dim robot to foster, and it never learns killing or suchlike, would I be allowed to keep it? I'm perfectly happy with a basic hoovering one, I would love it forever.

Oh my heart sank when I saw the thread about "our neighbours never cut the grass". For a while I thought it was about us! We would need to foster an army of robot mowers to get on top of it...

If you click on the link there's a deletion message - didn't read it properly.

Has Elsa been roaming? There's no cheese in my fridge.

TL, i keep running out of cheese, too. Is it Elsa, or something else?

See! The mobility scooters are SO dangerous that they cannot be talked about!! (Except here where we are allowed to harvest organs and covet Ted Bundy etc)

Ok, I've spent the afternoon napping and watching The Stepford Wives (1975) (not the shit Nicole Kidman trashy remake).

We make them look like people and we use someone from Disney to programme them.

I'm desperate for a robot lawn mower, however you first have to peg out a perimeter. I know that doing this would require more dedication than I have.

I'm not joking I do have a remote control mower but it is for fields and steep hills etc, unless your garden is very big we will all have to carry on with the flymos( it is also currently out of action)

Why the Disney programming Thigh? I hate nothing more than Disney. Except palma violets

TT because that was my research from the Stepford Wives film.

DT 10pm Really tonight - Cold Valley: Person of interest

Can we equip the robots with slankets? And perhaps a fold out sofa? In case they need to help those with problems.

Good idea preggo of course being robots they never need sleep, so could solve problems in between murders. This is exactly what we do in Thighland! It is thoroughly tried and tested, so there is absolutely NO danger of them going rogue and slaughtering humanity.