Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions?

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Hello - this is the advice clinic, please come in. We are a team of untrained but experienced kindly Agony Aunts. There's no judgement here, even if you are a filthy, drunken old slag.

Dog I treasured every moment

I did used to shit in my sandpit and blame the dog. This was my personal sand pit not a communal one.

Frown WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM

Thigh your childhood sounds magical!

I used to have an imaginary friend called 'Pipe'. I used to tell my mother 'Pipe's coming today!'

I think I spotted 'Pipe' round the back of the washing machine once ...

DT watching Deliberate Stranger. How tall was TB?

i've offended a friend! inadvertently :(
what should I do? I was having a moan at them as they upset me, then they turned it around and said I was out of order... any advice?

DT I think it was a very interesting childhood. It certainly gave me an appreciation for the absurd.

Speaking of toilet roll, KFC have enormous rolls and they don't lock the dispenser. I never went without again.

flower just be friends with us instead, we're impossible to offend.

Or you can use my discount code for Freddie's Flowers and get them a free bunch.

Thigh I think he was tall, around 6". I've not seen that one!

fluma I think you should tell your friend she owes you a huge apology and must buy you a week's supply of chocolate snax and a bottle of gin!

I have a problem. I'm in my nightie but need more fags and some Doritos. How dressed do I have to get? I'm thinking tuck nightie into some leggings and put a coat over the ensemble? The thing is all the cops gather at our Tesco express for their breaks and I always feel a bit odd being partially dressed around cops. Ever since the Darren debacle.

Hi I have been on maxitram for over a year now but I only take a 50mg tablet at night and I have been with my boyfriend for a while and we have had unprotected sex 3 times and I was wondering if I could be pregnant or because im on maxitram once a day will it stop me from getting pregnant, any advice would be much appreciated thank you 😊😊

Oi, thigh, I'm not recommencing my litany of woes until tomorrow. You have other clients to deal with!

Thigh can you just belt the coat so that they just think the bulk of the nightie stuffed into the leggings is an additional spare tyre and just part of you, rather than a nightie?

If you do get arrested for indecent exposure or some crime against humanity then try to get committed to that hospital/holiday resort I was in. Of course, I'll send you all the supplies you require down the chimney.

It was so strange! One day i just woke up back in my own bed! They must have sedated me and taken me home. Weird really, i wasn't a handful!

Mum if you’re trying to get pregnant, stop taking opioid painkillers. If you’re not trying to get pregnant, stop having unprotected sex.

Next.

That’s you, frown.

fluma can’t the two of you just call it quits since you’ve both upset each other?

I'm back with all the food groups Doritos, fags n Viennese whirls. No cops tonight.

Thislido
I’m going to stop taking them, I’m just want to know does maxitram stop you from getting pregnant?

I think you’re better off talking to your doctor, Mum, then you could also discuss the best way to manage pain relief as well.

In terms of wondering if you could be pregnant right now, take a pregnancy test.

Viennese whirls, eh. How do they get them to have that very specific texture? Maybe I should go to Vienna and find out.

You'd be better served going to Denmark for Danish pastry which is called Vienna bread.

The trick of MC is simply to reference the Colonel a lot and sound officious. I'll see if there's a game now.

Thank you, I think I will take a test at the end of this month as see what’s it says 💜