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Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions?

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 25/05/2019 22:42

Hello - this is the advice clinic, please come in. We are a team of untrained but experienced kindly Agony Aunts. There's no judgement here, even if you are a filthy, drunken old slag.

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nakedscientist · 30/05/2019 22:42

I liked Fermat but I also like M3Ion, we are like scienze honey bees buzzing round our unctuous thigh

thislido · 30/05/2019 23:27

OMG LOOK!! We are just out of shot, in our muumuus.

Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions?
pineapplebryanbrown · 31/05/2019 00:04

I didn't murder Fermat, she fucked off to play Numberwang. I liked it when we had a full complement of science honeyz. I felt like we had a real shot at building a nuclear bomb and teaming up with Kim Jong-Un.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 31/05/2019 00:05

TL are we on holiday by magic?

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DanglyTassles · 31/05/2019 07:25

Morning thisters! Are we on Schroedinger's holiday?

nakedscientist · 31/05/2019 08:16

DT Yes we uncertainly are!

pineapplebryanbrown · 31/05/2019 08:23

Sigh, I've only just u packed. Where are we?

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pineapplebryanbrown · 31/05/2019 08:24

Quite annoyed that Cat is keeping her location secret. I vote that we hunt her down.

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TopiaryTractorTart · 31/05/2019 08:31

Holiday! Can I come this time?

pineapplebryanbrown · 31/05/2019 08:32

TT sure but I don't know where we're going. I propose we hunt down Cat.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 31/05/2019 08:37

Ever since I had my DNA done and found out that I'm 47% Irish people have been discriminating against me.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 31/05/2019 08:38

I'm aggrieved, I think that's why Cat won't let me come on holiday.

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TopiaryTractorTart · 31/05/2019 08:39

I reckon she is in the Cayman Islands or the Andaman Islands.

Irish is good, my DP is Irish and mostly good. Though they have some grammar issues that I sometimes find difficult to accept.

TopiaryTractorTart · 31/05/2019 08:41

Cat! Can you give us a little clue, we could play hangman or something?

TopiaryTractorTart · 31/05/2019 08:42

Thigh, I hope you weren't one of the many DNA test people who found out their father is not who they thought, apparently 1 in 25 ?!

pineapplebryanbrown · 31/05/2019 08:46

TT not at all at all, that's de Oirish bit.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 31/05/2019 08:47

Be interesting if your mother wasn't who you thought.

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DanglyTassles · 31/05/2019 08:48

Top 'o da mornin to ye Thigh !

pineapplebryanbrown · 31/05/2019 08:48

I read about an American woman who had chimerism and her children didn't test as hers.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 31/05/2019 08:50

Ah fiddle de Dee DT will ye have a hot cup o Guinness? Ah, go on so, ye will.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 31/05/2019 09:05

The woman with the chimerism was applying for welfare and they tested her children. They found that the children tested as her husbands but not hers. They suspected her of fraud and were going to prosecute her. She was pg at the time and they put a welfare person in the delivery room who immediately took a swab from the new baby who again tested as not hers. They suspected she was being a surrogate. Her lawyers got her looked at my scientists who found that her reproductive organs had a different DNA to the rest of her body.

The moral of the story is not to eat your twin.

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TopiaryTractorTart · 31/05/2019 09:12

Wow. I bet a lot of twins would like to eat their twin sometimes.
But how did you not know you were half Irish thigh?

nakedscientist · 31/05/2019 09:13

Ever since I found out I'm 47% Irish people have been discriminating against me.
*
Have they been discriminating 47% of the time or discriminating against 47% of you?*

TopiaryTractorTart · 31/05/2019 09:16

Just her eyes and ears and legs Naked

nakedscientist · 31/05/2019 09:17

Shall we go to Ireland on holiday and hunt down thigh's relatives and demand succour?

If they tell us to bugger off we can stay with my cousin.