Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions?

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Hello - this is the advice clinic, please come in. We are a team of untrained but experienced kindly Agony Aunts. There's no judgement here, even if you are a filthy, drunken old slag.

thigh I love to hang out with the other sciencemongers...but they are super ephemeral....

I thought I could lure out naked with my comments about groping in the electron microscopy suite but she hasn't bitten....

(Yes you are right M3 and I must be dead as a nurse just walked right through me! I saw all her her blood vessels, organs and innards and a fried egg and a slice of toast!)

(That was weird, and yes, I'll go chase a few dead blokes now, don;t we need an L as well? Any requests?)

You could have a look around for Lucifer?

(Thigh I am watching a documentary on Samuel Little who killed over 90 prostitutes over 40 years! I'm glad he never killed me, I liked eating crack to death instead!)

(Tope good shout!)

F, L, Y, Z - DT I'm sorry but you'll have to fuck dead Yul Brynner.

(oh dear)

(ok then)

I have a problem about tomorrow. It is the last day of time off from work. I was due to meet a friend but he's ill. I don't know what I want to do with the day.
I lay down, chilled out and did nothing today. I want to do something different to that tomorrow. Please can you advise.

Oh I'll do Yul. I'm not dead though - does it matter?

Ooh - I know a 'Y' who I'd love to do - and he's not even dead. Big advantage that. Yannick Noah :)

Tope I actually quite like new job - other than the fact I'm the oldest person in a 30 mile radius. And I have to work. Which means leaving my bed.

(Educating have you tried being dead? I am finding it very interesting and educational)

(Super Rag and I'll take Lucifer)

(or you could try getting yourself sectioned Ed, that was rather funz)

Dangly is everybody who has ever died ever there with you? I've always wondered how everyone would fit in to heaven.

(Yes but it's ok because we can overlap)

I've had three job interviews this month and I've heard back from the last of them.

Didn't get one.

I work 'as and when', have been turned down for the job I'm currently doing, they've hired two people and I'll soon not have a job at all.

The search for alternative employment is getting quite desperate.

I'm utterly miserable and nearly cried when I put the phone down today.

I'm now stuck doing the first of three night shifts.

How do I maintain hope oh Wise Ones?

I shagged a hot Danish sailor once. His name began with an L. Or Z. Or something. Probably. Anyway, let’s call him Len.

(Ginger - please excuse brackets it is because I am dead - please do not let your unemployment upset you. You deserve a treat, get yourself some lovely snax and some wine and enjoy the fact you can have a hangover tomorrow on a Wednesday and not have to get up for work.)

(Work made me go insane which then led to my death so also bear that in mind! It is not all that and a bag of chips you know!)

(Once you decide a job is the last thing you desire, one will miraculously be inflicted upon you, it's the law of sod)

(Wooooh Woooooo)

Teetotal.

I have a training class at 9am tomorrow too.

(Ok maybe some nice cheese? Or some chocolate?)

Trying to lose weight. ☹

A bubble bath? A wank?

Get a tea tray and slide down the stairs on it.

Pampering and sleep.

I have indeed been lost but back now. It turns out pregnancy sickness is drastically worsened by going on the internet. Who knew! Some changes at work, they didn't even give me a krispy kreme, just took all my interesting work away and now I do almost nothing while being paid more than before.

I can safely say @Gingernaut that jobs are bullshit unrelated to any reality and @DanglyTassels is correct, one will be forced upon you at the most inopportune moment.

I can offer a Luke to the shagging alphabet.

Also a Zebedee however I did not shag him, merely refused to give him a blow job, was promised a cup of tea that never materialised and caught nits for my trouble.