Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions?

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Hello - this is the advice clinic, please come in. We are a team of untrained but experienced kindly Agony Aunts. There's no judgement here, even if you are a filthy, drunken old slag.

Sometimes they're quite secretive about having a trouser full of jizz. Have a really good look at the crotch area, awkward if dwarves.

Praise Thigh I don't have a boss or workmates, I'd be in Holloway by now for sure.

Like me!!

Are we still missing letters? I can contribute an F(rancis). Any others? I also have a couple of dozenunknown names you can have as blank scrabble tiles.

How about an alphabet of the anatomy? Just because I have 10 minutes. I'll start

Arse
Bollocks
Cunt
Dick

Elbow Fanny Groin Hamstring

Inner thigh, Jacksy, Knee, Lips( either)

Minge
Nips
Oesophagus
Prick

Thanks for playing my infantile game

Quim
Rug
Stick
Truss

Found you waves gaily

Uterus
Vulva
Willy
Xtra big willy

I think that's the end really

Hello Preggo

Preggo what is a truss??

Okay you can have that

Mons, nose, orifices

Oh. Didn't refresh. Never mind, I'll have more gin. Do they serve gin in your hospital Dangly?

I've got some gin Rag. It has grapefruit flavour, I'll send it to you on the pube carpet, what direction are you in?

Or were you just concerned about whether DT had her own gin?

Dangjy has crack, she won't mind if I have her share of the gin. The grapefruit one sounds lovely. Could you programme the satnav day on the pubemat to pick up some mini rolls too please? Then I can stay in bed until Friday:)

Sure are you north of the south coast of England and a little bit east or west?

Where's north of the south coast? I've just spent 6 days working in a not particularly large building and I still couldn't find the way to the toilets by day 6. So I think it's safe to say my sense of direction is crap.

Has anyone commissioned you to do topiary for them after seeing your lovely vulvas?

Reginald! where in the name of fuck have you been!? Well thank goodness for your slaggery we needed an F. Still missing L, Y, Z.