My husband cheated on me last night

[WifeOfCheater]

NC’d but a regular poster

Been married 10 years, 2 kids, mortgage and happy marriage where nothing more than a few arguments have happened.

Husband went out to watch football yesterday - a rare occurrence he doesn’t often drink so I knew he’d be three sheets to the wind.

He FaceTimed me at 10.30 pissed as a fart telling me how beautiful I am and that he loves me. Not unusual, he gets soppy when drunk. But then he started telling me about a girl who’d pursued him all night and offered to take him back to hers for a shag. She was 17, two weeks off her 18th birthday apparently. I said why are you telling me this, I hope you told her no, and he stayed quiet and said he was getting a taxi home, and laid it on thick with the “I love you” and compliments.

While I was waiting for him to come home I had a sick feeling and knew something wasn’t right. When he got back I asked him if he did anything with that girl. I fully expected him to say “no of course not” because I didn’t think for a moment he’d cheat on me. But he confessed she gave him a blow job down the side of a furniture shop.

I feel sick. The fact she’s 17 - less than half his age - makes my skin crawl. What kind of man is he?! He has ruined everything. And to make it worse DD (6) had D&V so whilst he was getting a blow Job from a teenager I was mopping up sick and shit from the bathroom.

He said it was a one off, just a blow job and not emotional and he doesn’t see it as proper cheating. I think it makes it worse he used some poor girl for just her mouth. I can almost see an emotional affair would’ve been worth the risk of our marriage but not this. He says he deeply regrets it(!)

He’s still in (spare) bed, no doubt won’t remember anything and all I’ve done is cry. I haven’t slept, I’m in the bedroom while the kids watch a film downstairs, sobbing and hoping they don’t see me.

I can’t leave, he’s self employed and hasn’t been doing too well lately financially so we’ve dipped into our savings and they’re gone. I have no family around (he does). I do have a flat I rent out and the tenants are moving out in 3 weeks so I’m going to say he can live there.

I’m utterly heartbroken. He’s ruined everything. I wish this wasn’t happening and I genuinely never ever thought he’d do this to us. And with such a young woman, makes me think he’s just a predatory creep

When people attack other people's relationships

Except I didn't, I said I find 40 year old men Pershing teenagers paedophilic.

Actually, you're right @LisaSimpsonsbff it's best to ignore her nonsense. I was just horrified at her 'kick the OP while she's down' attitude. Not cool.

I'm so sorry OP!
What a complete 🔔
Get him out and don't take him back. He may off done this more than once. Ignore all them horrible comments 🙄

Stop answering the idiot - OP needs support and luna(tic) is hijacking the thread

Lets remember this post is for/by WifeofCheater

Agree that @WifeOfCheater seems bloody fabulous. Stay strong and don't listen to any bullshit today x

The age of the girl might be relevant if she lied to make herself older (as teenage girls have a habit of doing).

OP, he needs to leave now while his head is still banging.

Op just ignore her. Any man that age sleeping with a teenager is predatory as fuck.

OK Luna, the OP's husband is a disgusting, abusive ephebophile. Happy now?

Catchingbentcoppers

I think the point is that, of course sex between an adult and a 13-15 year old is very wrong it isn't paedophilia.

I guess it's a distinction in law similar to the difference between murder and manslaughter. They are different crimes albeit the outcome is the same.

@cuppycakey I don't agree with that entirely. While I understand that cheating is cheating and LTB (for me) is the only answer to that, there are variations of cheating and cheating by getting a BJ off a 17 year old child is much worse than cheating with a, for example, 38 year old woman in a long-term affair.

OP I feel for you. What a waste of space your husband is. Hope he has the hangover from hell to contemplate the loss of his family with. You are strong and will get through this.

Can we all agree the age of the woman involved is largely irrelevant. My view that OP should LTB is not remotely based on the age of the woman he had sex with.

It is relevant to the OP, and it would be to me in her situation, too. Obviously I would be devastated if DH did this with a woman of any age, but if he did it with a 17 year old - the age of the students he teaches - it would certainly be worse. That's how OP feels too, and she's allowed to feel like that.

OP, you sound awesome. Stay strong and do not let this arsehole ruin your life.

💐sorry you are going through this

Good on you for standing up for yourself on here OP as the previous PP said you sound like you’ve got your head in the right place and are looking out for yourself and your children.

For me it would be a no brainer to kick him out after a Bj on a night out, who cares if he was drunk and regrets it. You are married, have made a commitment to that and if he can’t be arsed to keep in his pants then so be it. You are FAR better that and deserve someone who treats you well and treats you with respect and dignity.

Take control of the situation as you are doing, I’d agree with Previous posts and say don’t let him in the flat, would be so hard to get rid of him in the future. Keep the tenants and keep the money.

Good luck OP, sending lots of thoughts your way

The LEGAL definition is someone attracted to pre-teen (that is 0-12) children

Do you have proof that this is written in selfish law or have you made it up to feel better about your own relationships?

Well this lunacy has at least stopped my tears for half an hour so I'll be thankful of that

Hi OP what he has done is unforgivable. You must be in so much shock.

With regard to sti testing you can order kits online to do yourself if you don’t feel up to facing people. I had one through sexual health London and it was free and very quick to get results.

Do not give him your flat. You do not have to be nice to him!! He cheated on you with a teenager! He didn’t care about you or your feelings. Why should you be worried about his? He caused this situation and needs to deal with the FULL consequences.

I’m amazed your being so reasonable.
and a nice duvet day with your kids

OP from your replies to the arseholes on here I can tell that you are a strong smart woman who isn’t prepared to take a load of crap even though your world has just imploded - you are awesome
That makes me confident that you will be able to get through this and come out the other side eventually even if you feel broken now. You aren’t broken, just a bit bent and that will mend
Tell his family and anyone else you need/want to, you have nothing to be ashamed of
Good luck

How does a person cope when they realise they're married to a complete and utter stranger?

I'm so sorry that you're going through this WifeOfCheater - his actions were completely vile. Use your anger now to give you the energy to get him away from you, but once the anger starts to fade, and you're able to start picking up the pieces of your life and creating new futures, you'll start to find a sense of perspective. That's when you realise that the stranger you've discovered him to be isn't worth your time any more.

Wishing you all the very best coping with this mess, what an idiot he is.

I'm so very sorry OP. Your husband is an absolute scumbag. I felt sick reading your post.

Can I ask though... why is he still there? I'd have fucked him out last night never mind letting him sleep off his hangover.

Luna This thread has clearly hit a nerve for you, but most women here agree - it’s very predatory behaviour and not at all an equal footing for a grown man to pursue a teenager.

You just need to accept that a lot of people here would deem your husband to be a bit disgusting. But you don’t, so that’s okay.