My husband cheated on me last night

[WifeOfCheater]

NC’d but a regular poster

Been married 10 years, 2 kids, mortgage and happy marriage where nothing more than a few arguments have happened.

Husband went out to watch football yesterday - a rare occurrence he doesn’t often drink so I knew he’d be three sheets to the wind.

He FaceTimed me at 10.30 pissed as a fart telling me how beautiful I am and that he loves me. Not unusual, he gets soppy when drunk. But then he started telling me about a girl who’d pursued him all night and offered to take him back to hers for a shag. She was 17, two weeks off her 18th birthday apparently. I said why are you telling me this, I hope you told her no, and he stayed quiet and said he was getting a taxi home, and laid it on thick with the “I love you” and compliments.

While I was waiting for him to come home I had a sick feeling and knew something wasn’t right. When he got back I asked him if he did anything with that girl. I fully expected him to say “no of course not” because I didn’t think for a moment he’d cheat on me. But he confessed she gave him a blow job down the side of a furniture shop.

I feel sick. The fact she’s 17 - less than half his age - makes my skin crawl. What kind of man is he?! He has ruined everything. And to make it worse DD (6) had D&V so whilst he was getting a blow Job from a teenager I was mopping up sick and shit from the bathroom.

He said it was a one off, just a blow job and not emotional and he doesn’t see it as proper cheating. I think it makes it worse he used some poor girl for just her mouth. I can almost see an emotional affair would’ve been worth the risk of our marriage but not this. He says he deeply regrets it(!)

He’s still in (spare) bed, no doubt won’t remember anything and all I’ve done is cry. I haven’t slept, I’m in the bedroom while the kids watch a film downstairs, sobbing and hoping they don’t see me.

I can’t leave, he’s self employed and hasn’t been doing too well lately financially so we’ve dipped into our savings and they’re gone. I have no family around (he does). I do have a flat I rent out and the tenants are moving out in 3 weeks so I’m going to say he can live there.

I’m utterly heartbroken. He’s ruined everything. I wish this wasn’t happening and I genuinely never ever thought he’d do this to us. And with such a young woman, makes me think he’s just a predatory creep

So sorry you're going through this he's a twat and I couldn't forgive him
I agree with pp doubting she was actually that old and that it was just a blowjob
Take care of yourself and kids we're all here to support you

@Anothertempusername

This thread really shouldn’t be derailed but pedophilia is the attraction to Prepubescent children. @Lunafortjest was simply saying I think that OP’s husband receiving oral from a 17 year old is pedophilia on any level. She’s past the age of consent.

Obviously, irregardless he cheated on his wife who has two kids at home and if Op wants to leave she should find the support to do so.

The LEGAL definition is someone attracted to pre-teen (that is 0-12) children.

HTH

Luna is spectacularly missing the point and for some reason making this all about her. Reported

In England, Northern Ireland and Wales, a child is someone who has not yet reached their 18th birthday.

From the NSPCC website @LunafortJest. Since you seem to like a definition so much. People like you, who make allowances for this kind of thing fucking disgust me.

I actually agree with Luna about it not being pedophilia but there is no need for her to be so vitriolic about it to the op who has used the term because quite rightly she is in a highly emotional charges state.

Luna let go of the bone and keep your unpleasant tongue in your head.

As for breastfeeding a two year old that is perfectly fine, my daughter was two and a half when I stopped breastfeeding her.

Op, please take comfort from the supportive posters and don’t get sidetracked and drawn in by that nitwit Luna spouting like a crazy.

@zenasfuck Your first sentence was exactly how I thought of the OP.
Why is it people think that just because the OP was cheated on, that gives her carte blanche to insult and offend others? And why do you think I don't have the right to defend myself?

@LunafortJest just leave the thread, seriously. The OP doesn't need your histrionics on what is clearly one of the worst mornings of her life. Have a little compassion and step away. You've made your 'point'.

My husband is not the one who would take blow jobs.

Wow what a stand up guy! Only targets women almost 2 decades younger than him, but with a refusal to have blow jobs AND a citizenship award!! Where do I get one like your Luna?! Jealous I am
🤣

You sound like a brilliant, strong person. You will be OK - the worst bit is now.
It is not your job to work out where he is going to live - that's up to him. Just get him out today. Also his job to explain to people what happened.
It's also not your job to puzzle out why he threw his life away for a blow job. He will have plenty of time to ruminate on that himself while sitting on his own night after night without his family. Perhaps he might also consider how he would feel if he was the father of this 17 year old girl.
Love to you OP xx

@LunafortJest if you thought it was ok you wouldn’t get so offended.
Don’t you think it’s a bit weird? Being born when your partner was 32?

@DoctorDread No, I got the point. I was replying to her ageist and deeply offensive comments about mixed-age relationships, and I reported those comments.

Wow all the super woke dickheads are out in force today arent they. Presumably they would be happy for this perv to stay in the family home whilst your now small DD grows and brings her then 17 year old friends home with her. Fuck that. If that was DH he would be out on his arse. For a grown man to have sexual contact with a teenager is revolting. You're being so strong OP. You'll get through this. What strikes me is that in your first posts your parenting this stupid man (women often find themselves parenting other adults who should be competent grown ups) and worrying about where he'll live, his sexual health, what will happen to him. Fuck him. I can feel your anger and disappointment coming through now. This is a grown man and you are not responsible for worrying about him. Boot him out and he'll have to face the consequences of his actions.

The LEGAL definition is someone attracted to pre-teen (that is 0-12) children.

So, can you answer my question please? Do you think that that makes it OK to have sex with a 13/14 year old? Or do you not want to answer that @lunaforjest?

@WifeOfCheater Just wanted to comment to offer more support, OP.

You're doing great - you sound like a strong woman.

You said you had friends around but you're not sure how to begin telling them what's happened but please please do tell them. I'd want to know if this had happened to a friend of mine, I'd want to support them, I'd want to do everything I could. I wouldn't care how they told me and I wouldn't judge. Please get all the support you can

@catchingbentcoppers it’s obviously not okay ! but it’s not paedophilic in any way shape of form.

this thread has been so derailed grr

Can we all agree the age of the woman involved is largely irrelevant. My view that OP should LTB is not remotely based on the age of the woman he had sex with.