My husband cheated on me last night

[WifeOfCheater]

NC’d but a regular poster

Been married 10 years, 2 kids, mortgage and happy marriage where nothing more than a few arguments have happened.

Husband went out to watch football yesterday - a rare occurrence he doesn’t often drink so I knew he’d be three sheets to the wind.

He FaceTimed me at 10.30 pissed as a fart telling me how beautiful I am and that he loves me. Not unusual, he gets soppy when drunk. But then he started telling me about a girl who’d pursued him all night and offered to take him back to hers for a shag. She was 17, two weeks off her 18th birthday apparently. I said why are you telling me this, I hope you told her no, and he stayed quiet and said he was getting a taxi home, and laid it on thick with the “I love you” and compliments.

While I was waiting for him to come home I had a sick feeling and knew something wasn’t right. When he got back I asked him if he did anything with that girl. I fully expected him to say “no of course not” because I didn’t think for a moment he’d cheat on me. But he confessed she gave him a blow job down the side of a furniture shop.

I feel sick. The fact she’s 17 - less than half his age - makes my skin crawl. What kind of man is he?! He has ruined everything. And to make it worse DD (6) had D&V so whilst he was getting a blow Job from a teenager I was mopping up sick and shit from the bathroom.

He said it was a one off, just a blow job and not emotional and he doesn’t see it as proper cheating. I think it makes it worse he used some poor girl for just her mouth. I can almost see an emotional affair would’ve been worth the risk of our marriage but not this. He says he deeply regrets it(!)

He’s still in (spare) bed, no doubt won’t remember anything and all I’ve done is cry. I haven’t slept, I’m in the bedroom while the kids watch a film downstairs, sobbing and hoping they don’t see me.

I can’t leave, he’s self employed and hasn’t been doing too well lately financially so we’ve dipped into our savings and they’re gone. I have no family around (he does). I do have a flat I rent out and the tenants are moving out in 3 weeks so I’m going to say he can live there.

I’m utterly heartbroken. He’s ruined everything. I wish this wasn’t happening and I genuinely never ever thought he’d do this to us. And with such a young woman, makes me think he’s just a predatory creep

Sorry I didn't mean it like that. I was meaning he would have done this despicable act regardless. Of course it matters it was a child, and I say that as someone who was sexually assaulted as a child.

Where did OP say that her husband was so drunk that he couldn't consent to the blowjob from the 17 year old child? Have I missed something? Because otherwise @JuniFora your comments are totally irrelevant. Nobody is "demonising" an entire sex "because they're male". People are (quite rightly) demonising this one particular man who was, as far as we know, perfectly able to consent to the disgusting sexual encounter he had with a child half his age. He really doesn't need your defence. Again, he is NOT the vulnerable party in THIS situation.

Or maybe he wouldn't. Maybe that the girl was just that, a girl, was the ultimate turn on and easy to take advantage of. Despicable no matter what; predatory in this instance indeed actually.

But if not this girl, the next, the next, a woman, a man. Any hole is good enough? Scumball is what this cheat is.

@JuniFora are you allowed to tell people to fuck off without getting deleted? Asking for OP...

@SimplySteveRedux I'm sorry that somebody did that to you.

Apologies for the misunderstanding.

Where did OP say that her husband was so drunk that he couldn't consent to the blowjob from the 17 year old child?

@Ratatatouille
I posted earlier I wasn't convinced the man was shitfaced as men have erectile problems the more pissed they get. I really doubt he was past the point of no return with regards to this, and all men have a limit. If this man got shitfaced as rarely as OP says, his limit would be a lot lower than someone getting pissed every weekend. I think he was rather sober when this disturbing act occurred.

Jesus. Rape convictions against women are at 1%. 1 in 10 are raped, 1 in 5 sexually assaulted. 185,000 rapes a year in the UK. And some people spend their time worrying that the poor menz have it hard.

I missed out the word falsely.

Is there though @FiremanKing ? Serious question. Or is it that the media reports more on these cases to introduce doubt to the credible cases? Given that the newspaper industry is disproportionately male I wouldn't be surprised.

limey. Does it not occur to the arrogant twatwaffle that if he doesn't want people knowing that he stuck his dick in a girl's mouth, he shouldn't have stuck his dick in a girl's mouth.

I recently saw DD go through the "system" as someone raped. Despite physical evidence, numerous people supporting her in court, the rapist walked free. The rape system is a fucking absolute JOKE, in its present state.

Crying rape? Please, this is media bollocks. Go read the amount of those charged that get convinced. Then read their ridiculously blasé sentences. Fucking hell.

Steve that's awful I'm so sorry for your DD

Thanks Wife.

Obviously, being raped myself, then seeing it happen to DD, it's something I'm rather passionate about!

I hope you recover soon, sounds like you're handling this brilliantly though

Jesus! Can the man sympathizers kindly do one?

This isn’t about how tough the poor menz have it. It’s about Wife and how her life has just imploded.

For fucks sake!

OP you are my kinda woman! No bullshit, strong courageous and loving toward the people who deserve your time. Stay strong lady, you are a fine example to your children

My point was that this thread isn’t about man bashing, their are plenty of men who would find what the op’s husband did as repugnant as we do.

It’s the op’s husband who has behaved disgustingly. I had an ex who also behaved without morals but I’m now married to a lovely man, let’s not all tar them the same.

No op. We won't be bored in a week or two. I'm still on threads going on from over a year ago supporting the op. Not everyone on Mumsnet is here for juicy drama, there's also a lot of empaths. 

@JuniFora you win mumsnet's cuntyist post of the week award.

Just rtft and I'm in awe of you OP- aplenty for you once the kids are healthy! Remember - onwards and upwards!

Nice to see someone has started a thread off the back off this one saying "I dated an older man when I was 17 and it was great" so pleased to have inspired you there love

We can file that under c**t, and move on I think...

@WifeOfCheater I reported that thread when it started as a TAAT and pretty insensitive to you.

Ooooo it's just been deleted

"
Today 20:11 PickAChew

limey. Does it not occur to the arrogant twatwaffle that if he doesn't want people knowing that he stuck his dick in a girl's mouth, he shouldn't have stuck his dick in a girl's mouth."
But if only it were that easy. Oh wait... It is.

I disagree this thread is demonising men. Even my husband has said just what happened is "fucking indefensible". The fact is the op's husband is minimising things and hoping the op rolls over.

hope you're as well as can be op. You definitely deserve better. you sound like you have your head screwed on and won't let others influence you. I hope you get some Gin soon!