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My husband cheated on me last night

943 replies

WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 08:26

NC’d but a regular poster

Been married 10 years, 2 kids, mortgage and happy marriage where nothing more than a few arguments have happened.

Husband went out to watch football yesterday - a rare occurrence he doesn’t often drink so I knew he’d be three sheets to the wind.

He FaceTimed me at 10.30 pissed as a fart telling me how beautiful I am and that he loves me. Not unusual, he gets soppy when drunk. But then he started telling me about a girl who’d pursued him all night and offered to take him back to hers for a shag. She was 17, two weeks off her 18th birthday apparently. I said why are you telling me this, I hope you told her no, and he stayed quiet and said he was getting a taxi home, and laid it on thick with the “I love you” and compliments.

While I was waiting for him to come home I had a sick feeling and knew something wasn’t right. When he got back I asked him if he did anything with that girl. I fully expected him to say “no of course not” because I didn’t think for a moment he’d cheat on me. But he confessed she gave him a blow job down the side of a furniture shop.

I feel sick. The fact she’s 17 - less than half his age - makes my skin crawl. What kind of man is he?! He has ruined everything. And to make it worse DD (6) had D&V so whilst he was getting a blow Job from a teenager I was mopping up sick and shit from the bathroom.

He said it was a one off, just a blow job and not emotional and he doesn’t see it as proper cheating. I think it makes it worse he used some poor girl for just her mouth. I can almost see an emotional affair would’ve been worth the risk of our marriage but not this. He says he deeply regrets it(!)

He’s still in (spare) bed, no doubt won’t remember anything and all I’ve done is cry. I haven’t slept, I’m in the bedroom while the kids watch a film downstairs, sobbing and hoping they don’t see me.

I can’t leave, he’s self employed and hasn’t been doing too well lately financially so we’ve dipped into our savings and they’re gone. I have no family around (he does). I do have a flat I rent out and the tenants are moving out in 3 weeks so I’m going to say he can live there.

I’m utterly heartbroken. He’s ruined everything. I wish this wasn’t happening and I genuinely never ever thought he’d do this to us. And with such a young woman, makes me think he’s just a predatory creep

OP posts:
kateandme · 13/05/2019 20:56

Oh no, not deleted but it says I was mentioned n I can't find where. sorry to interrupt

WendyHouse72 · 13/05/2019 21:05

Omg OP , well done for staying strong.
Age irrelevant, he chose to stick his dick in someone else's mouth, that is inexcusable.
Then to have the selfish audacity to basically leave you on your own with the kids all day, whilst he wrecks your bathroom.
In my opinion, you're well rid.

mamaofboyzz · 13/05/2019 21:22

I've read the whole thread, words can't even express how awful he has treated you. 😩

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fussygalore118 · 13/05/2019 21:33

Oh God this is just fucking awful. You are behaving with so much bloody dignity you should be so proud of yourself!
Have your gin and cry...then dust yourself of tomorrow and stand proud! Xxxxx

winecigsandchoc · 13/05/2019 21:37

OP you are handling this very very well. Sending you lots of love and an unmumsnetty hug

WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 21:38

Thank you everyone. I'm so pleased I posted and got such good support, thank you thank you. I'm shattered now, off to bed. Work in the morning, hopefully will provide a welcome distraction

OP posts:
WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 21:40

And he seems to have mastered "fighting for us" whilst also being spectacularly lazy as he's doing it via text message. I almost admire the gall of him. He loves me, it was just sexual nothing else (as if that's meant to make me feel better), I'm the best thing that ever happened to him, blah blah 😴 god he doesn't even have the decency to be creative. I hate him. I have never felt hate like this.

OP posts:
Luaa · 13/05/2019 21:42

I've been watching since this morning and I just wanted to say how much I admire the way you have dealt with this. Your children are lucky to have such a strong mum, even if they also have an asshole of a father.

I hope you manage to build yourself a great life without him.

AlexaAmbidextra · 13/05/2019 21:42

But also, do remember that this is not all your husband.

Well who is it then?

PickAChew · 13/05/2019 21:44

Just sexual? What a peach.

Hope you get some good sleep Flowers

Sexnotgender · 13/05/2019 21:44

I'm the best thing that ever happened to him, blah blah

Shame he didn’t think about that when accepting a blow job from a TEENAGER.

I’m not surprised you hate him.

NeatFreakMama · 13/05/2019 21:46

Exactly what Luaa said. You are incredible, well done Wine

CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 13/05/2019 21:48

Fuck8ng hell, well done you, he is a massive tool.

kbPOW · 13/05/2019 21:50

You are brilliant and you deserve so much more than this pathetic piece of shit. But you know that already. Hope you get some sleep.

Lookingforadvice123 · 13/05/2019 21:54

Wow OP, what a day! Echo pp that you sound flipping amazing - strong and dignified. You'll be much better off without that pig. Hope tomorrow brings a welcome distraction.

CandleWithHair · 13/05/2019 21:55

So much admiration for you OP. Whatever was going through his teeny tiny brain last night, he is going to regret that decision and being such a shitbag for the rest of his life.

Drogonssmile · 13/05/2019 21:58

I've been reading your thread all day. I really feel for you OP. I hope you and the DC are as ok as can be expected. You deserve so much better. What a twat your husband is. Thanks

foreverhanging · 13/05/2019 22:07

'It was just sexual'

Fabulous, come back then ! What a fucking knob head

purplelass · 13/05/2019 22:15

Glad he's out of the house to give you some headspace.
As far as 'thinking of the children' goes, I threw ExH for cheating when DD was 12, and now at the age of 16 she's told me how grateful she is as I've taught her that she never has to let anyone treat her badly.
Hope you get some sleep tonight x

Marmablade · 13/05/2019 22:27

The excuses men give are ridiculous cliches. You can't think much of him when he's rolling those out time after time on the text messages. Perhaps if he was genuine you'd want to listen to him. Very best of luck in the next few days.

Threeminis · 13/05/2019 22:30

Enjoy your gin op - don't drink too much and don't text him back. He's not worth it. Stay as strong as you have been throughout this thread. ThanksGin

pizzascroll · 13/05/2019 23:13

I really admire your strength Wife, you sound so strong.
I feel disgusted on your behalf, it's sounds so depraved and to me would be worse than a drunken shag, I'm not sure if it's the girls age or the bj in an alley way 🤢

daffodilbrain · 13/05/2019 23:20

You're doing great . If I was you though I'd take tomorrow off and have some head space

IDontDrinkTea · 13/05/2019 23:23

Depends on what you do for work, but I know I’d be thinking about taking tomorrow off. You’re probably not in the right frame of mind and could do with some headspace. So impressed by how calm and controlled you’ve been when faced with such utter twattish behaviour. Stay strong x

MaverickSnoopy · 13/05/2019 23:38

Oh OP I'm so sorry to read this.

Aside from the age thing is that what stands out to me the most is his horizontal approach at trying to win you back and how he is trying to justify this. The lack of remorse is just shocking. So cavalier about the whole thing. I mean - texts!

You know your worth. Don't forget it for a second.

I'm sorry he has fucked up yours and your children's life just like that and that he is not the man you thought he was. You will all be fine though, in the end, because they have you. Apart from your H, he is the one who has lost out.

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