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My husband cheated on me last night

943 replies

WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 08:26

NC’d but a regular poster

Been married 10 years, 2 kids, mortgage and happy marriage where nothing more than a few arguments have happened.

Husband went out to watch football yesterday - a rare occurrence he doesn’t often drink so I knew he’d be three sheets to the wind.

He FaceTimed me at 10.30 pissed as a fart telling me how beautiful I am and that he loves me. Not unusual, he gets soppy when drunk. But then he started telling me about a girl who’d pursued him all night and offered to take him back to hers for a shag. She was 17, two weeks off her 18th birthday apparently. I said why are you telling me this, I hope you told her no, and he stayed quiet and said he was getting a taxi home, and laid it on thick with the “I love you” and compliments.

While I was waiting for him to come home I had a sick feeling and knew something wasn’t right. When he got back I asked him if he did anything with that girl. I fully expected him to say “no of course not” because I didn’t think for a moment he’d cheat on me. But he confessed she gave him a blow job down the side of a furniture shop.

I feel sick. The fact she’s 17 - less than half his age - makes my skin crawl. What kind of man is he?! He has ruined everything. And to make it worse DD (6) had D&V so whilst he was getting a blow Job from a teenager I was mopping up sick and shit from the bathroom.

He said it was a one off, just a blow job and not emotional and he doesn’t see it as proper cheating. I think it makes it worse he used some poor girl for just her mouth. I can almost see an emotional affair would’ve been worth the risk of our marriage but not this. He says he deeply regrets it(!)

He’s still in (spare) bed, no doubt won’t remember anything and all I’ve done is cry. I haven’t slept, I’m in the bedroom while the kids watch a film downstairs, sobbing and hoping they don’t see me.

I can’t leave, he’s self employed and hasn’t been doing too well lately financially so we’ve dipped into our savings and they’re gone. I have no family around (he does). I do have a flat I rent out and the tenants are moving out in 3 weeks so I’m going to say he can live there.

I’m utterly heartbroken. He’s ruined everything. I wish this wasn’t happening and I genuinely never ever thought he’d do this to us. And with such a young woman, makes me think he’s just a predatory creep

OP posts:
Isth · 13/05/2019 19:05

You sound like an amazing person OP, so strong. I’m so sorry this has happened to you Flowers

Lollypop701 · 13/05/2019 19:08

I feel such sorrow reading this. Your idiot husband is an absolute loser. You are doing amazingly well op. Good luck whatever happens

Sexnotgender · 13/05/2019 19:12

What a way to throw a marriage away.

Enjoy your gin GinFlowers

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ReganSomerset · 13/05/2019 19:12

Hugs for you, OP. x

CherryPlum · 13/05/2019 19:15

I'm so sorry OP, what a truly awful thing to happen, your head must be spinning.

It's so seedy, her age, an alleyway, yuk. Stupid, stupid man.

PinaColadaPlease · 13/05/2019 19:22

What a fool. You sound amazing OP, confide in your friends and use their support.

DavetheCat2001 · 13/05/2019 19:24

Well done OP 💪🏻

Keep strong, be prepared for snivelling/ begging for forgiveness.

You don't need this garbage in your ( or your kids) lives.

justthecat · 13/05/2019 19:24

Least he’s gone. Give yourself plenty of time to get your head together 💐

hellenbackagen · 13/05/2019 19:29

Enjoy that gin op.

17, 19 or 30 - doesn't change that he cheated. What an absolute idiot - and if he can't control himself when drunk he shouldn't be getting so pissed!

💐

BMW6 · 13/05/2019 19:34

OP

When you are going through Hell - keep going

Flowers
TSSDNCOP · 13/05/2019 19:35

You're giving a masterclass in dignity under fire OP. There are some amazing people here that will keep giving you support.

jackstini · 13/05/2019 19:39

Well done Wife - you have dealt with this so well
Do tell a friend if you can - you might feel a bit wobbly and need to vent to someone who knows you personally
Meanwhile lots of us who don't wish you a world of luck, help and happiness in the future
Next few weeks will be hard but you are doing the right thing
GinThanks

Swimsuitbod · 13/05/2019 19:44

Well done OP, you have been amazing.

I second that you need to tell a well-chosen friend this evening. Please don't go to bed carrying this by yourself. And enjoy your gin.

Secondly I think this:
Op, after her shock wears off, don't be surprised if your MIL turns on you in a spectacular fashion in defence of her son
...could be likely. I suggest that in the next few days MIL is made aware of the full sordid nature of the facts e.g. the alleyway next to the pub. Not because I'm suggesting you need to be vindictive, but because you have given her the polite PG version and no doubt he will continue watering the story down now that he's staying there and put together this could mean she never grasps the full impact of what he's done and sees him as the victim.

LookImAHooman · 13/05/2019 19:47

Nothing to add that’s not already said but just wanted to echo that you’re a bloody legend, OP. Those kids have got a fantastic mum and that will stand out to them something serious when they get older.

blueberry25 · 13/05/2019 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blueberry25 · 13/05/2019 19:51

Ops apologies I'm new and posted the post here 🙈

BlondeBumshelll · 13/05/2019 19:59

Oh god, OP, you've been dealt a huge blow today and I think adrenaline has got you this far. But take care of yourself when the crash comes and remember HE did this, not you. No matter what you decide to do, do what your heart tells you, not what MN says, as this is your life. Good luck!

QuilliamCakespeare · 13/05/2019 20:08

Enjoy your gin, OP. You've earned it.

icelollycraving · 13/05/2019 20:11

Poor you. I bet you’ll have a bit of an adrenaline crash later, absolutely natural.
Well done for staying so strong.
He will be minimising it to his mum, who will probably say that to give you time etc.
Did he clean the bathroom? I’d be taking photos.
Best of luck. Mn is at its best when someone is in crisis, the advice and solidarity are fantastic. If you can’t tell people yet then this is an excellent support.

Ledkr · 13/05/2019 20:18

I agree about being ready for reality to hit.
I felt calm for a few days but then it hit me.
I also didn't tell anyone for a while. I felt kind of ashamed.
Also prepare to wonder if he's depressed or suchlike and then the anger kicks in and it used to wake me up at 3 am so I could plan his murder.
It's a roller coaster bit so worth the ride to emerge with your dignity.

nzeire · 13/05/2019 20:25

What an ugly situation, I have huge empathy for you, and for your husband.
Alcohol is horrific for some people, he’s done an unforgivable thing, but I’m sure it wasn’t his intention in life to be that person.
I’m so sad and sorry for your little family, the next while is going to be horrendous.
Take care of you, take care of your children. But also, do remember that this is not all your husband. Despicable act, doesn’t make him a despicable person.
Stay strong x

JaneyJimplin · 13/05/2019 20:30

Good on you for being so strong.

Savour that gin Gin

User11011 · 13/05/2019 20:40

Well done for chucking the rubbish out. X

MarniLou · 13/05/2019 20:43

Full of respect for you, you have handled this awful and shocking situation so well. Be proud of yourself and know that you have acted with dignity. You will make the right decision in this, for you and your DC's.

kateandme · 13/05/2019 20:54

Anyone no y my post was deleted page 6?