My husband cheated on me last night

[WifeOfCheater]

NC’d but a regular poster

Been married 10 years, 2 kids, mortgage and happy marriage where nothing more than a few arguments have happened.

Husband went out to watch football yesterday - a rare occurrence he doesn’t often drink so I knew he’d be three sheets to the wind.

He FaceTimed me at 10.30 pissed as a fart telling me how beautiful I am and that he loves me. Not unusual, he gets soppy when drunk. But then he started telling me about a girl who’d pursued him all night and offered to take him back to hers for a shag. She was 17, two weeks off her 18th birthday apparently. I said why are you telling me this, I hope you told her no, and he stayed quiet and said he was getting a taxi home, and laid it on thick with the “I love you” and compliments.

While I was waiting for him to come home I had a sick feeling and knew something wasn’t right. When he got back I asked him if he did anything with that girl. I fully expected him to say “no of course not” because I didn’t think for a moment he’d cheat on me. But he confessed she gave him a blow job down the side of a furniture shop.

I feel sick. The fact she’s 17 - less than half his age - makes my skin crawl. What kind of man is he?! He has ruined everything. And to make it worse DD (6) had D&V so whilst he was getting a blow Job from a teenager I was mopping up sick and shit from the bathroom.

He said it was a one off, just a blow job and not emotional and he doesn’t see it as proper cheating. I think it makes it worse he used some poor girl for just her mouth. I can almost see an emotional affair would’ve been worth the risk of our marriage but not this. He says he deeply regrets it(!)

He’s still in (spare) bed, no doubt won’t remember anything and all I’ve done is cry. I haven’t slept, I’m in the bedroom while the kids watch a film downstairs, sobbing and hoping they don’t see me.

I can’t leave, he’s self employed and hasn’t been doing too well lately financially so we’ve dipped into our savings and they’re gone. I have no family around (he does). I do have a flat I rent out and the tenants are moving out in 3 weeks so I’m going to say he can live there.

I’m utterly heartbroken. He’s ruined everything. I wish this wasn’t happening and I genuinely never ever thought he’d do this to us. And with such a young woman, makes me think he’s just a predatory creep

Good point AryaStarkWolf it will all be on OP.

Jesus this is every wife’s worst nightmare isn’t it?
Sending you love. Be strong x

No family Ayra - a risk I took when moving here to be with him. I have good friends though luckily

Well give one of those friends a call and lean on them a bit, bottle of wine and rant is good for the soul

No advice but sending hugs OP xxx💐

Ah, then she’ll definitely be less supportive than you need. Not through malice but if that’s her mindset...

Did you say how old dc are? Would it be very disruptive for you to go home??

If so, I second what Arya said. Lean on your friends.

OP I think you're behaving very admirably. I'm more than 10 years younger than your husband and the thought of being sexually involved with a 17yo makes me heave.

The pure fact he thinks the age is relevant is worrying, justifying it by saying she’s 19 now?
Erm... what?

I’m so sorry OP. What an utter dick he is!

Why risk it for a cheap thrill that is a BJ in the street?! 🤢

You sound really strong. I know you say MIL will be on your side but please be wary, my friend thought similar but after a while she was soon trying to minimise her sons actions and guilt tripping her about keeping the family together.

It amazes me what people think women should overlook. Also amazes me how women can also minimise their behaviour. People need to raise the bar.

Thinking of you OP. He is taking the piss leaving your bathroom like that and not getting up. He has some nerve.

The pure fact he thinks the age is relevant is worrying, justifying it by saying she’s 19 now?
Erm... what?

Which is clearly a lie since he not only said she was 17 originally, he specified that she she was a couple of weeks off her 18 birthday..........

. Sell your flat and get well rid of the brute, and Don't be worrying where hes going to go. He wasn't studying you at the point of ejaculation when he was getting sucked off. Sorry to be blunt.
Obviously no one can lay any blame at her door. He's the married adult with kids. Shes only a young teenager.

Yeah. She was 17th. In vino veritas, and all that.

Aside from that, how disgusting do you have to be to get a blowjob in an alley beside a pub? I mean, Jesus! 🤮🤮🤮

Op my ex husband of 18 years cheated on me with a 16 year old.
She was younger than two of our children and our baby was under a year when it happened.
It was years ago now but I still remember the utter turmoil of emotions which were amplified by him being so close to a peadophile.
I still hate him for being so bloody disgusting all these years later.
They are still together.
They have a tribe of children and live a chaotic life with very little joy.
I still see her as a victim of grooming and feel bad she is still in her twenties and stuck with a fifty year old loser
All will be good for you eventually
I have a charmed life now.
Wishing you lots of luck

What an utterly sleazy bastard!!! I'd get his sorry arse out of bed and kick him out the bloody door!
What an idiot

A very brave post, Ledkr you must have gone through hell. Great you have a good life now. Poor 16 year old, and still so young now. Let's hope she too eventually finds happiness.

@Ledkr you had a lucky escape then, it must have been horrific to go through for you though

For being such a strong woman

Christ @Ledkr that’s horrific!

How lovely of people to respond to my post.
I didn't expect that. I just wanted the op to know she's not alone.
It definitely adds to the emotional turmoil.
I have a daughter the same age now and she is unfortunately disgusted as she has worked out the age gap 😫
I feel genuinely sad for the girl and also hope one day she will find a better life but I suspect she is still completely beholden to him still.

Shocking op! 💐

Op, after her shock wears off, don't be surprised if your MIL turns on you in a spectacular fashion in defence of her son. Sad to say, but I will bet the onus to keep the marriage intact will be put on you by her. There will be the 'you have to forgive him' shite, the 'it was a drunken mistake' shite, and of COURSE the 'what about the children' guilt trip.

I've seen this happen many, many times.

I would also be concerned because my friends and I used to go to pubs aged 14-16 and lie that we were 17/18/19.

I think what he has done is disgusting regardless of her age. However if she was that young and that drunk I would lose all respect for him taking advantage.

What a slimy cunt. I feel bad for you, and also the poor girl if she was 17.

@Ledkr

So much respect to you for holding everything together and supporting your kids while that fucktard fucked off. You poor thing. My god mums are great

One of my dad's oldest friends welled up recently when he had spent the day with me and my brother (both in our 30s) and our lovely mum, and said "god your dad has missed out on you lot".

It stuck with me as I could turn my anger into feeling proud of us and sad for him. But this is 20 years after the event so much easier said than done xxx

For the moment, whilst the ILs are supportive, you need to take advantage of it. The support may or may not be long term, but for now you need to take what you can get.

You can look at longer term support a bit later on, but for a few days at least they sound like they will back you up.

Keep going, get support in place from your family and friends, you can do this x

Just wanted to say i read the full thread and your doing so well.