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My husband cheated on me last night

943 replies

WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 08:26

NC’d but a regular poster

Been married 10 years, 2 kids, mortgage and happy marriage where nothing more than a few arguments have happened.

Husband went out to watch football yesterday - a rare occurrence he doesn’t often drink so I knew he’d be three sheets to the wind.

He FaceTimed me at 10.30 pissed as a fart telling me how beautiful I am and that he loves me. Not unusual, he gets soppy when drunk. But then he started telling me about a girl who’d pursued him all night and offered to take him back to hers for a shag. She was 17, two weeks off her 18th birthday apparently. I said why are you telling me this, I hope you told her no, and he stayed quiet and said he was getting a taxi home, and laid it on thick with the “I love you” and compliments.

While I was waiting for him to come home I had a sick feeling and knew something wasn’t right. When he got back I asked him if he did anything with that girl. I fully expected him to say “no of course not” because I didn’t think for a moment he’d cheat on me. But he confessed she gave him a blow job down the side of a furniture shop.

I feel sick. The fact she’s 17 - less than half his age - makes my skin crawl. What kind of man is he?! He has ruined everything. And to make it worse DD (6) had D&V so whilst he was getting a blow Job from a teenager I was mopping up sick and shit from the bathroom.

He said it was a one off, just a blow job and not emotional and he doesn’t see it as proper cheating. I think it makes it worse he used some poor girl for just her mouth. I can almost see an emotional affair would’ve been worth the risk of our marriage but not this. He says he deeply regrets it(!)

He’s still in (spare) bed, no doubt won’t remember anything and all I’ve done is cry. I haven’t slept, I’m in the bedroom while the kids watch a film downstairs, sobbing and hoping they don’t see me.

I can’t leave, he’s self employed and hasn’t been doing too well lately financially so we’ve dipped into our savings and they’re gone. I have no family around (he does). I do have a flat I rent out and the tenants are moving out in 3 weeks so I’m going to say he can live there.

I’m utterly heartbroken. He’s ruined everything. I wish this wasn’t happening and I genuinely never ever thought he’d do this to us. And with such a young woman, makes me think he’s just a predatory creep

OP posts:
yourestandingonmyneck · 13/05/2019 15:09

"Wants to fight for us"

Bullshit! This has made me angry. It's roping the OP into "fighting this fight" and putting in effort to save their marriage - the OP had fck all to do with the shenanigans last night, she's got enough to be doing without "fighting" for her fuckn marriage that HE cocked up!

Don't even get me started on the fact he's laid in his pit most of the day but now wants to "fight".

Bore off, you fckn loser. OP, you don't need this shit, you can do better.

IvanaPee · 13/05/2019 15:09

He's still wallowing in his pit.

Why?? Tell him to get the fuck out!

WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 15:10

By the by I know but does he have form for getting so spectacularly shitfaced and ruined the next day

He so rarely drinks, but when he does he has bad hangovers. Never this bad though. I've told he he's disgusting and makes me feel sick.

OP posts:

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IvanaPee · 13/05/2019 15:10

And he wants to fight so much that he’s been hiding in a vomit and blood soaked pit all day leaving you completely alone with the children?

hewontstopshitting · 13/05/2019 15:11

I’m so sorry OP

WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 15:11

Honestly ivana he can bloody lie there, I don't want him around me, me and the kids have had a lovely day actually all things considered and his ugly mug will only ruin it

OP posts:
WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 15:12

And he wants to fight so much that he’s been hiding in a vomit and blood soaked pit all day leaving you completely alone with the children?

Exactly. I've certainly seen his true colours this last day.

OP posts:
TrixieFranklin · 13/05/2019 15:13

How much did you tell MIL?

IvanaPee · 13/05/2019 15:13

You know what, you’re right. You’ve enjoyed your day with your dc instead of listening to him feeling sorry for himself which is what I guarantee you’re in for!

You’re brilliant, Wife! You really are.

AllyBamma · 13/05/2019 15:13

Nothing more to add that hasn’t already been said but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you and how impressed I am at your strength. You sound like a terrific person and don’t deserve to be dragged down by that piece of crap. Thinking of you Flowers

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 13/05/2019 15:14

I think OP is wanting to wait until her H is more together and can leave calmly with minimum drama for the DC sake.

Yep him wanting to "fight for us" is fucking disgusting. He should have the grace to leave OP in peace for as long as she wants.

TinyMarie · 13/05/2019 15:15

OP I was seeing a man of 30+ who thought it a good idea to ruin everything snd shag a 17 year old. Vile. I don't know how I misjudged someone so badly!
You sound very strong and he sounds like an utter bastard.
Pathetic little twats who get off on the attention of a drunken, naive teenager.
Look after yourself.

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 13/05/2019 15:16

Be interesting to see how much of the cheaters script he comes out with.

WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 15:16

@TrixieFranklin I said I'm sorry to put this on you but I need DH to stay with you. Ask him what happened with the 17 year old he met last night.

I can't bring myself to say "blow job" to MIL Confused

She was in shock and asked if she could do anything for me and the kids. She's text since saying she's furious with him.

OP posts:
IvanaPee · 13/05/2019 15:16

When did she bang on about the children?

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 13/05/2019 15:19

OP, we older people know what sex is! I get you don't want to say what the act was - but he will minimise it to his DM as a drunken snog.

Westiegirl3 · 13/05/2019 15:19

Jesus! I'm very rarely in the LTB camp but this would be a deal breaker for me and no going back. What a bastard

WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 15:21

@IvanaPee she asked after DD as she knew she was ill, but not much more. It will come. She is lovely but a big believer in staying together for the kids. We also went on holiday and I wanted to do something like go for a long walk but no one was up for it. I said something like "I want to enjoy something for me on this holiday not just laying by the pool" and she laughed and said "when you have children holidays are all about them" Hmm oh I see I'm just an accessory who feeds them, pays for them and never enjoys anything myself ever. Right-o

OP posts:
SignedUpJust4This · 13/05/2019 15:24

I'm not excusing him just tying yo understand his thinking. Was he telli g you to goad you? To show you that others still want him even if you 2 aren't having much sex?

TrixieFranklin · 13/05/2019 15:24

I don't blame you for not wanting to tell her the details by phone at all! He should be the one to tell her I just hope he doesn't minimise it. You're doing so well.

WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 15:25

I have no idea Signed. He says he's told me out of guilt. I'm very suspicious

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 13/05/2019 15:25

Do you have any of your own friends or family around Wife? I think having your own people's support would help you more. Someone who's not going to have an agenda like your MIL will have, she's "furious" now but you will eventually become the family destroyer in her eyes by what you've said there about staying together for the kids etc

ohfourfoxache · 13/05/2019 15:26

I’m glad MIL has reacted as she has.

Could they come and “encourage” him to leave with them later?

WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 15:26

No family Ayra - a risk I took when moving here to be with him. I have good friends though luckily

OP posts:
DartmoorDoughnut · 13/05/2019 15:28

OP you’re awesome Flowers