do You play fight with your dh?

[CocoDeMoll]

We haven’t for ages but did tonight. Is it weird or just something couples do? We used to massively before kids btw so nothing out of the usual.

Some people need to lighten up. Yes, we used to before kids. We would never hurt each other and it was more wrestling / retraining / wriggling away etc. It's fun and a bit of an adrenalin rush. He obviously wouldn't use his full strength.

Edit to my last post:

My husband wouldn't be happy if he bruised me. It's a laugh, he certainly doesn't get "competitive" and "insecure" about it.

Also, if it's something you're not happy with your kids seeing, then it doesn't sound right to me. Our kids would laugh their heads off and join in if they saw us. If you're not comfortable with your kids seeing it then no, it doesn't sound appropriate. And I suspect you know that.

When DH and I were first together which is almost 22 years ago he went on and on about seeing some of my martial arts moves. It’s not to be messed with and it’s all about respect but one day when I was drunk I gave in. I’m small and he is twice my size and I did actually hurt him. He laughs about it till this day but I broke the code taught by my teacher and still regret it.

Your DH likes to fight and is competititive? he sounds like a complete thug to be honest. Why anyone would be attracted to a man like this is beyond me.

Oh I remember you. He’s a regular drug user too.

'Honestly I think I was just being super sensitive yesterday and this morning he was concerned for how I was and even kissed my arm.'

Ugh

That makes me shudder

Yep. How much has he blamed your being upset about his shitty behaviour on you being over sensitive. Because you’re not.
If my husband left marks on me the marriage would be over. It’s not acceptable.

I wish my DP was into this. Love doing it with all the kids

@Reallyevilmuffin have you RTFT? He hurts her. He takes drugs. He fights.

Yep.

Full on wrestling. It's fun.

Yep quite a bit! Normally involves some kind of chocolate dessert on the face 🙈We've always done it!

Some people really need to read the whole thread

No. You have a weird relationship and no it's not normal behaviour.
Please rehome your kids so they can grown up in a normal home where people respect each other.

We used to more before kids, rarely now! I won't be happy with a dead arm though, it's more wrestling! DP is way bigger than me but I am more nimble so usually get the better of him!

No I do not. I used to, then one time I hit him too hard and realised that I was developing a habit that neither of us liked at all! I haven't hit him since, I will not be one of those partners who hits the person they love. I also don't want to model that kind of roughhousing to my kids and have them start hitting other kids.

He will sometimes pick me up and jiggle me around when I'm trying to do the dishes as a joke.

But as he's twice my weight I can't really do that to him.

Thanks @NottonightJosepheen, we're always careful to check the others ok with what we’re doing and wouldn’t engage if they weren’t and always make sure we’re careful and it doesn’t get heated or anything like that. I trust him 100% and I know he’s the same or he wouldn’t allow it. We’re both on the autistic spectrum and sensory seeking and like the deep pressure from pinning one another. We’d never do that with anyone else though because they wouldn’t like it and we respect that. There’s been times we’ve been messing around like that and either of us say stop or I’m done now or indicate in anyway we’ve had enough we stop and leave go of the other and either move apart or sit together.

Not to that extreme but we push each other lightly, smack each other on the bum or whip each other with tea towels etc. Nothing that hurts or is really indicative of conflict.

@NottonightJosepheen, it's fine I get why it could be a problem for some men and women tbh. We've messed around like that in my mums house with her there and her only response was if you break anything you buy it. Although tbh we only tend to mess around like that when there are others about, I think it's a subconscious way to make sure nothing goes too far and also most likely because we're christians and that sort of fighting wouldn't be considered a good idea if we were the only people in the room. Either way it's fun

Also not to the extreme as being left with bruises but we tickle, wrestle, sit on each other, usually involves trying to get the other one to fall off the bed. Then we stop when we're both struggling to breathe after 10 mins because we're unfit

Is this for real? Nothing you’re describing here is normal OP. With every post of yours the alarm bells get louder.

I had a previous partner who liked exerting his strength, biting, pinching etc, liked to bruise. I thought it was all great fun at the time, but in hindsight I see it as very abusive. I was just pleased to have his attention and I feel quite sad now that I sold myself so short.

Oh Christ it's you. Nothing about your relationship is normal or healthy, regardless of what people on here without the backstory may say.

I just ASed you.

Your DH is a weed smoking, alcohol dependant, unhelpful, fucking arsehole.

What happened to the one month ultimatum?