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Original poster

Shittest family meal you've ever served?

136 replies

wejammin · 30/04/2019 19:09

We came in from the park after school this evening close to tea time, the baby was screaming for a nap, I'm knackered and DH was late home from work.
I gave zero fucks and served up a pot of houmous, a few random breadsticks, a chopped up orange pepper, two packets of plain crisps 'decanted' into a bowl, a chopped up pear and some olives.

Felt a bit guilty afterwards and made everyone a hot chocolate.

Make me feel better - what's the shittest 'can't be arsed' meal you've made?

OP posts:
OldUnit · 30/04/2019 19:10

I'll be honest, that's my daily go-to. Grin

StealthPolarBear · 30/04/2019 19:11

Oven pizza. I usually try to do carrot sticks too. Yours doesn't sound that bad!

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 30/04/2019 19:11

We routinely have 'forage' meals where everyone just constructs what they want from the fridge. You're really not that bad Grin

racewhorse · 30/04/2019 19:11

My favourite meals are forage meals! And freezer roulette

StealthPolarBear · 30/04/2019 19:12

Phew. I assumed the op would be berated for not having a couple of lamb cutlets and creamed potatoes.

teyem · 30/04/2019 19:13

I made a lentil soup with lots of veg once which my kids renamed "disgustosoup".

Everything that is bad in the world is now assessed against the disgustosoup spirit level.

teyem · 30/04/2019 19:18

Sorry, read the title only and missed the fact you meant - 'can't be arsed' - shittest not, 'it was so shit it redefined the concept of shit' in your household.

Original poster
wejammin · 30/04/2019 19:19

Oh good I feel better now 😁 we do have houmous for tea regularly but it's usually at least with bread and salad, or a jacket potato. The breadsticks were literally the bits at the bottom of the box that look like they've already been pre-chewed.
The olives were a last minute inspirational addition from the Brexit Stash (proud)

OP posts:
AdiosAdipose · 30/04/2019 19:20

That sounds like my go-to quick meal in summer. DS loves it and asks for it often. We call it a 'picky tea'

I usually add a cheese string and cucumber sticks too. IMO it has everything they need.

formerbabe · 30/04/2019 19:23

Chicken Kiev with cous cous.

Raspberrytruffle · 30/04/2019 19:23

I made a courgette soup, sounded lovely but looked like cow pat. We ended up ordering takeout that night, I didn't argue.

Raspberrytruffle · 30/04/2019 19:25

Ah yes we love buble and squeek too, for some reason it went off over night the roast leftovers, thought it smelt a bit odd when cooking. Tasted wine like yuk Blush

formerbabe · 30/04/2019 19:25

Although was the time I had proper flu and gave my toddler a packet of crisps for dinner...Blush. He's 11 now and has emerged unscathed Grin

OldAndWornOut · 30/04/2019 19:26

All of my meals are quite shit, and I don't care.
I don't like cooking or planning food, so anything will do.

managedmis · 30/04/2019 19:27

Broccoli and pot barley soup. My own recipe. Made up. Feckin rancid.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 30/04/2019 19:28

Adios I'm afraid the term 'picky tea' is, well known and widely despised on MN...

I did fishfinger and chip butties the other day.

Shahlalala · 30/04/2019 19:29

My DD asked for something similar to this today. Picnic tea she called it.

BarbaraofSevillle · 30/04/2019 19:30

How are we defining shit? Unhealthy, lack of effort, or unappetising?

Because in the great scheme of things, the meal in the OP is far from shit by any of those signifiers, and this just seems like a bit of a stealth boast. Multiple portions of fruit and veg, chopping, and you come up with a meal that would be served in many a restaurant as a 'mezze sharing starter'.

BarbaraofSevillle · 30/04/2019 19:32

My shit CBA teas are instant noodles with chopped up hot dogs, throwing whatever frozen and battered I can find in the freezer into the deep fat fryer, or crisps and a bottle of cava. No DCs btw, so no running out to social services.

MichonnesBBF · 30/04/2019 19:33

Slow cooked chicken curry, ended up late in from work and it had been slow cooking for 12 hours it was rancid, also this meal was the final nail in the coffin and I handed in my notice at work not so long after.

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 30/04/2019 19:35

I have a good 'shit tea' you may steal:

1 tin chickpeas (or some other bean), drained
half a tin of tomatoes
half a stock cube
cumin seeds
chili flakes to taste
A bit of water
Spinach or similar if you have some and are feeling fancy
Heat together in a pan and serve (1 portion).

Food of the gods, I tell you Grin

Dollywilde · 30/04/2019 19:35

OP that’s a stuff tea! I’d never heard of it (my mum was a SAHM and pretty much emulated the 50s throughout my childhood - albeit with more organic veg 😂) but DH and MIL introduced me. Essentially an indoor picnic, all served cold. We’re having one tonight because we have loads of random shite in the fridge - enjoy!

KickingItSince1966 · 30/04/2019 19:36

I thought this would be a thread about cookery disasters.
I hang my head in shame at the genuine crap meals my fussy eater gets served up. Beige, salty, processed. I’m just glad when he’s taking in some calories from something other than biscuits.

SlightlySleepy · 30/04/2019 19:36

Marmalade sandwiches with olives. After they are it the children asked what was for dinner. I had to break the news that that was dinner.

Pluginwall · 30/04/2019 19:36

I made a lentil soup with lots of veg once which my kids renamed "disgustosoup

When my DC we’re pre-teens, I made a lentil and ham soup that the kid’s named “sick soup” and refused to eat. They are both in their 20s now, but it has stuck in their minds as the nadir of my cooking. It is still used as a benchmark to measure cooking failures.