Shittest family meal you've ever served?

[wejammin]

We came in from the park after school this evening close to tea time, the baby was screaming for a nap, I'm knackered and DH was late home from work.
I gave zero fucks and served up a pot of houmous, a few random breadsticks, a chopped up orange pepper, two packets of plain crisps 'decanted' into a bowl, a chopped up pear and some olives.

Felt a bit guilty afterwards and made everyone a hot chocolate.

Make me feel better - what's the shittest 'can't be arsed' meal you've made?

Freezer roulette happens whenever I can’t think straight (usually through pain) and the boys are claiming utter starvation. I grab a carb, a veg, and a protein and hope they match.

Mini kievs, mash, and sweet corn didn’t win me any awards! :o

When my brother was a teenager he was asked on one exceedingly rare occasion to cook a meal for the family (our parents, himself and me). He cooked a family pack of spaghetti thinking it would feed a family of four. No. He filled four pans, half a washing up bowl, three mixing bowls and four plates wth cooked spaghetti. We could have invited the whole street and still had leftovers. And he forget the fucking bolognaise.

Veggie hotdogs for Sunday dinner once or twice.

Veggie hotdogs a couple of times, as even pasta with pesto felt like too much effort. Microwaved the hotdogs instead of boiling them.

Often don't have grated cheese on pasta dishes, as it's too much hard work to grate the cheese.

Cereal and toast. To be fair, it's reasonably healthy, as I would tend to give them Weetabix or porridge, as opposed to Coco Pops!
It's a lazy fucking meal though, no mistake about that.

It's not actually shit, but I gave my son a rice and veg dish to try when he was about 5, as he usually liked rice, and his response was to wail melodramatically: 'MUMMY, WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO IT?!!!'

You can guess what that dish has been called ever since.

Toast and cereal.

Will fully admit my oldest has had a fair amount of microwave burgers the past 2 weeks. Always got plenty of healthy fridge snacks which he also eats. I had to have an operation and been fully on my ass since. Hoping normal service will resume soon

This thread is fucking brilliant, and utterly hilarious.
Thank you, OP!

Marmalade sandwiches and olives is the best post on this thread imo. A truly interesting shit tea, made up of things that are nice in isolation.

We do a lot of casual snack-based meals and I think that’s fine. The only time I’m ashamed is when we fall back on a beige processed meal and I don’t remember to do the token veg. This happened tonight. I thought there were peas in the freezer but there weren’t, and consequently their only vegetable was ketchup.

@NottonightJosepheen

Chicken nuggets on a frisbee! I am dying here

Fillipe potatoes are full of VitC so you're boy will be scurvy free for weeks!!!

*YOUR

Jesus, just shoot me.

Howling at dinner on a frisbee. That is fucking genius

I have found my people! Too lazy to grate cheese, and serving dinner on a frisbee. I mean why do we have to make dinner EVERY NIGHT? I like to pretend I am really quite a wonderful cook, but if I'm alone I'll leave on toast and pasta, and I wish I could get away with similarly no effort meals for the DCs. I quite often just give the baby the toddler's abandoned crusts

*live

WineIsMyCarb Absolute winner then! He's doing that thing that I am assured is common that toddlers do where his official stance on food is that it could be ambrosia of the gods, or it could be poison, and he will decide as he puts it in his mouth which it is, even if its something he had been eating happily for the last 2 years. So that's been fun

We had a full on Easter weekend camping and were packing up / travelling back on Monday over lunchtime.

When we got home, DC said 'Mum we have t had lunch' and my reply?

'Yes you have you had that massive ice cream and an Easter egg!!!'

Pot Noodles!

This is my kind of thread

Chicken thighs so over cooked the kids couldn't bite into them .

I was going to say but having read your actual post I dont dare... that's not a shit meal at all! It's just quick and easy which isnt the same thing.
I've served some extremely nutritionally poor dishes in my time.
The majority of the time we eat healthily but honestly I've had to serve up some shockers due to lack of funds once in a while.
Think plain pasta and frozen peas or once even just a potato! We've had some difficult times but things are pretty good nowadays although I'm still a pretty shit chef, we can at least afford proper food.

I was once served canned warm tomatoes on toast. That was pretty "shit".
I ate it because it was offered to me and even opening a tin of tomatoes and heating toast was effort on their behalf that I didn't have to do.
I am a pretty confident cook but yesterday, the height of my culinary genius was a chocolate Magnum and 1/2 can of Pringles.
My husband had the other 1/2 of the can.
It was fine; no one died.

God once (before I had kids thankfully) the only food I had for a week was a big bag of cous cous. I had no money for various reasons and just had to live off this bag of cous cous.... my boyfriend came to stay and he had no money either so we were both eating bowls of this stuff...

I've never eaten cous cous since then, the sight of it makes me feel sick now... bleak times.

Cod steak, mashed potatoe and cauliflower. On a white plate.

🤮

made a Chinese style kung po because after a family night out we were all drunk and too late for a takeaway after coming home (years ago when I was young!). I had bought a new Chinese style food cookbook and had bought in ingredients not normal for me eg. oyster sauce, light and dark soy sauce etc. Made it anyway 20 mins prep, but used rice vinegar instead of rice wine without knowing, tasted it myself and though fuck no, something's not right, threw a bit of sugar in, but they ate it anyway, the amount of vomit in the house was unreal the next day.