Shittest family meal you've ever served?

[wejammin]

We came in from the park after school this evening close to tea time, the baby was screaming for a nap, I'm knackered and DH was late home from work.
I gave zero fucks and served up a pot of houmous, a few random breadsticks, a chopped up orange pepper, two packets of plain crisps 'decanted' into a bowl, a chopped up pear and some olives.

Felt a bit guilty afterwards and made everyone a hot chocolate.

Make me feel better - what's the shittest 'can't be arsed' meal you've made?

Beige food freezer buffet with ketchup

Not recently but cheese and crackers because the chicken Input in the oven was just taking too long. This was for me and DH, DC were toddlers at the time and had already eaten a full dinner cooked by yours truly.

Microwaved pouches of quinoa and bulgur are a great MN CBA dinner. I do mine with a tin of tuna.
I usually turn to eggs when time and inclination are low. The other day I mixed eggs and stracchino cheese to make cheesy scrambled eggs on toast...
Tastier than things I’ve spent hours on!

I was once served canned warm tomatoes on toast. That was pretty "shit". I was craving this the other day! But fried bread instead of toast makes it even better. Got to be Napolina tomatoes though. And a good sprinkle of salt.

I made an omelette once and chucked some veg in from the bottom of the drawer to make it "healthy".

It's now referred to as the time I made "vomlette". Courgette does not go with eggs, we discovered.

Op this made me laugh (empathetically!) -I recognise the feeling. It’s the zero fucks given because of tiredness or sickness that make it the shittiest meal I think. I had a similar feeling when I served up weetbix to my children for tea. With a slightly manky cut up orange and cucumber to make me feel better about it all.

Courgette does indeed go with eggs! You just need to sauté it before adding in so some of the water is taken out

Blimey, I often eat tinned plum tomatoes on toast - with brown sauce. We are vegetarian and I lack the food-passion gene, so I've served up way too many brown, grey or red sludge dinners over the years. My kids have all survived.

Tinned tomatoes with lots of salt, pepper and olive oil on really good bread toasted is delicious, not shit at all.

Your meal sounds like a party tea in my house.
I served up beans on mouldy toast once.

I once tried to make chervil soup which turned out so stringy and watery , my family forever after referred to it as "the night you served us pond weed".

Not me, but I came home the other evening to find DH feeding DD with hundreds and thousands on toast, cucumber slices and a cheese string.

She declared the toast to be amazing. I've no doubt. Coloured sugar balls on toast.....

Noodles and couscous together

So, I served him chicken nuggets on a clean not that it matters, it was still a frisbee.

So I got home, and all I had in the fridge was some red cabbage, cheese, and half a yellow pepper.

I called it 'space pasta'. They ate it. They have, fortunately, always had a very low bar when it comes to my culinary prowess.

(The 'CBA' element applies to 'going food shopping', I guess)

Dry toast and some celery (only thing left in the fridge). It was pathetic.

I do a lot of meals like this. Kids have a hot midday meal and DH and I sometimes haven't the energy on busy weekdays to come up with anything more strenuous!

4 year old DD was given jam on toast for breakfast by DH, she had a jam sandwich and crisps at a cafe for lunch with grandma, then for dinner I served a jam sandwich and left over nibbles.

It was only at bath time, we uncovered that she had been living off jam and bread. Had major mom guilt... but don’t worry, she had piles of veg the next day

If we are taking "shittest meal" in its most literal sense, may I direct you to the cauliflower curry DH made the other night. DS said his tummy had turned into a bubble machine because he couldn't stop trumping, and DD (2) announced she had "done all the poos ever". So that was nice. I was nearly rendered unconscious by the fumes that were released from under duvets the next morning!

I once made a vegetarian shepherd's pie which was honestly inedible!

The absolutely worst thing (which I didn't even try to servee up) was some tv chef's recipe for bolognese. That actually couldn't be used at all and I had to start again with new ingredients. Such a waste.
Never put star anise in ragout. Do not wash mince.
Those are the 2 main lessons I learned from that.

Mine often just has crusty bread and butter. I usually buy cold meats etc for a quick tea when she wants to eat the minute we get home. She rarely eats the meat so, occasionally just give her the bread and butter.

The go to lazy meal is definitely toast in this house! I'll always add some plum toms and cucumber sticks or strawberries and grapes with it though to lesson the guilt haha
My dd loves 'picnic tea' though! Ham sarnies, mini scotch eggs and sausages etc.

Chicken nuggets on a frisbee has properly made me lol.

On returning with a full car of kids from a theme park. They were staying overnight and I'd planned to make fajitas for dinner and then eggs for breakfast.
We were all knackered so I did eggs on toast for dinner and fajitas for brunch next morning. They loved it!