Shittest family meal you've ever served?

[wejammin]

We came in from the park after school this evening close to tea time, the baby was screaming for a nap, I'm knackered and DH was late home from work.
I gave zero fucks and served up a pot of houmous, a few random breadsticks, a chopped up orange pepper, two packets of plain crisps 'decanted' into a bowl, a chopped up pear and some olives.

Felt a bit guilty afterwards and made everyone a hot chocolate.

Make me feel better - what's the shittest 'can't be arsed' meal you've made?

I just defrosted what I thought were 2 servings of chilli. I got a sense of cognitive dissonance when looking at one of the defrosted packs until I realised it was chicken. Mixed them together served with rice and sour cream and told my lad when questioned it was "Cuban Chilli". He loved it

@Barbaraofseville it is privileged though, really. When I was on the bones of my arse, I would have bought a value loaf and value jam for £1 or less, and that would have been several meals (pre-kids, thank god). 69p isn't much, but for a small pot of something that only keeps a couple of days, needs a fridge and needs something with it, it is a privilege.

@Silvergoldbronze nothing wrong with beans on toast! I think the heating element makes it 'proper' somehow!
I haven't had a sheltered life, it was meant to be light-hearted, but I apologise for any offence caused.

Disaster-wise, a slow cooker curry with a full teaspoon of asafoetida - apparently should only have used about 1/8th of that. The flat stank for days.

Lazy-wise, probably a Greggs sausage roll followed by yoghurt.

Our parrot eats better than us some days😂😂

@sockqueen is that the stuff that smells like armpit 😂

In line with the others mine was a soup- veg and kidney bean soup. I have to blend soup for the children and it made it a revolting texture, it didn’t pour into the bowls it dolloped. We basically ate grated cheese melted by soup and bread.

I made a butternut squash and pumpkin soup one October half term. It was like hot fluff, sweet and sickly and just fluffy.

We called it Cloud Soup. Dd (aged 12 I think at the time) said it didn't taste of much. But wasn't nice. Ds (3) just ate the bread.

Whenever I make soup now dd checks it's not Cloud Soup.

I also made a chicken and tarragon dish once. Fuck knows what I did but the taragon sauce tasted utterly fucking vile, like mooshed up ragwort.

And I made some spicy fishcakes once, like a thai fishcake. Except they dissolved in the deepfat fryer. So we had fishy crumbs with salad and rice.

Oh gosh, it would be supernoodles with cheese mixed in. Sometimes if there was any chicken or left over bolognese I would add that and pretend it's "spaghetti" bolognese. Spices it up a bit and makes it a bit more filling.

I had a cup of tea and a slab of white chocolate fudge tonight. Nutritious(!)

My mother once gave us shop-bought cakes (eclairs/jam doughnuts/chocolate tarts if I remember correctly) for dinner. Served them up on dinner plates with knives and forks. I still remember it as one of the highlights of my childhood.

Lol these aren't that bad at all...
DH once tried to make some kind of crab past dish and it was bad... had weird bitty bits of something bony in it. We ended up with buttered toast for dinner!

*pasta sorry

Worst thing I've ever eaten is prawn aspic. Basically fish mousse. With celery, a deviation from the recipe, an improvement according to FIL.

Fuck dat.

You lot with super noodles are posh! I buy the 19p curry noodles and add a handful of peas - I then sprinkle grated cheese on it and serve it in a pitta bread if we are really hungry. (Crap, but also one of my favourite meals!!) Pot noodles are wrong though....

Fish finger kabab, fish fingers with coleslaw in a pitta with a bit of wilted lettuce. It was really tasty in the end and my eldest asked for it again the day after 😂

I made a 3 bean chilli a while ago. Ds who is 4 cried because it smelt so bad and DH refused to eat it.

I made sausage cake.

Essentially toad in the hole with self raising flour - fun fact you can only use plan flour to make Yorkshire’s 🙈 I also served dairylea cabbage from a recipe I saw online.... the boys were NOT impressed.

You want crap... dd's favourite is tinned macaroni cheese :)

Just got back from holiday and had midnight flights back to UK. DC (toddler and preschooler) were offered Burger King but didn't even eat much of it so were given crisps and chocolate raisins.

Do I win? There was no hummous or couscous!

Super noodles with left over chicken and frozen sweet corn is a regular shit meal here, so is grilled cheese sandwiches and soup.

I made cauliflower cheese for dinner once and both kids looked at be like I had shat on their dinner plates. Never again.

Breakfast cereal

You know I'm having a bad day when I get out the frozen sausage rolls....I think i once served them with cous cous . There's definitely a cous cous with frozen food theme with me...it's because its the easiest, quickest carb to cook.

I once tried my hand at a slimming world beef stroganoff.

Have you ever wanted to try beef yoghurt with Gerhkins?? No us either . We all ended up in hysterics as we pushed the inedible strips of tough beef in their yoghurty grave around the plate until I cracked and ordered pizza!

I gave my toddler a cone of chips from the chippy for dinner today. Warm, beige stodge and he walloped it down, He'll live (he had an apple with breakfast and blueberries and raspberries for a snack so will probably manage to avoid scurvy for today.)