Shittest family meal you've ever served?

[wejammin]

We came in from the park after school this evening close to tea time, the baby was screaming for a nap, I'm knackered and DH was late home from work.
I gave zero fucks and served up a pot of houmous, a few random breadsticks, a chopped up orange pepper, two packets of plain crisps 'decanted' into a bowl, a chopped up pear and some olives.

Felt a bit guilty afterwards and made everyone a hot chocolate.

Make me feel better - what's the shittest 'can't be arsed' meal you've made?

How are we defining shit?

^

Good question, really.

Marmalade and olives?

@Barbaraofseville, not a stealth boast, it did look pretty sad and beige and small for 5 people.

Maybe I should have added 'lighthearted' and 'exceptionally middle class' to the title, I get that by any stretch serving up houmous means we're privileged.

Cod steak, mashed potatoe and cauliflower. On a white plate.

'Shit' as in 'not the standard your family are expecting or desire'

Once I had a sickness bug and served my child digestive biscuits and chocolate buttons for dinner as I actually couldn't move enough to make anything else. Thankfully me partner came home and made them something more nutritious

I think food is food at the end of the day . Doesn't matter what it is as-long as tummy's are full . And there's nutrients here n there

I made a lentil curry once. No idea what I did to it, bolloxed the spices somehow but it was utterly inedible. Dominos delivery came to the rescue.

Tinned Macaroni cheese.
I had to cook something else. First time ever I have done that

To be fair OP, houmous is 69p in Aldi so I think it’s had a social downgrade

At the end of the month I just cook whatever is left in the freezer and call it “smorgasbord”.

I was just going to say there was a lot of chopping involved which therefore does not constitute low effort in my book

My lazy dinner for the kids is pasta and pesto. Just those two things

check out this cauliflower recipe
i have just, tonight, cooked this for my family
I de-veganned it, used real milk and added egg
also added some nutmeg
it was the worst thing I have ever made, I couldn't finish it and neither could DS
I have just spent about half and hour apologising
only consolation is, the chickens can eat it....I hope

I've never understood why houmous is considered to be middle class or a preserve of the privelidged in the UK.

It's mashed up chick peas, one of the cheapest foods available, and if you get them in cans, they last for years, and don't need soaking or cooking. Even tahini is just a variation on peanut butter, and no-one thinks that's aspirational.

I made some soup once using some old turkey stock I'd found lurking near the bottom of my freezer. I'd served it up and was faffing about before sitting down to my portion. The family were eating it and there was silence. I took one mouthful and declared it was bloody awful, at which point they all breathed a sigh of relief that they weren't expected to continue spooning the foul liquid into themselves. I felt quite proud that they were willing to eat the shite rather than complain about it.

If you think that’s shit OP, I think you’ve probably led quite a sheltered life. We often have beans on toast for tea - quick, cheap, reasonably nutritious and minimal prep. Any meal that involves chopping fruit and veg is not ‘shit’ IMO.

@newtlover Cauliflower tagliatelle was never going to be good

A few weeks ago I was having a bad after school day and was so rushed and exhausted whilst dealing with homework, tantruming toddler and overtired baby that I totally forgot I was the one who needed to make dinner. I also hadn't planned anything. I had a rummage in the freezer and found several types of chicken stew - but in small portions. I stuck about 4 bags in the pan and cooked them with veg on the side. I didn't realise that I had left it cooking for quite so long and what was left was some kind of mush. Mixed mush of varying flavours, not too dissimilar to puree for babies. It literally slopped onto the plate and had a slight burnt flavour to it as well.

At least I tried!

Beans on toast is wonderful. I love beans on toast.

Supernoodles with parmesan is a favourite of mine. the parmesan gives it a touch of (middle) class.

One of mine had a peanut butter sandwich for dinner (seems a bit off colour to be fair and didn't fancy dinner)

Rest of us had a proper meal. Promise!!!

We were going to have fajitas but the chicken didn't look quite right. I made the fajitas with chicken nuggets. It didn't taste brill.

My kids regularly have cereal for dinner if I can’t be arsed.

And yesterday my 3 year old had toast for breakfast, then a sandwich for lunch and a sandwich for dinner - it was only after dinner I realised he’d survived on 90% bread all day 🤦‍♀️

I made a lemon and asparagus risotto once for me and husband, it was the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. It was about 5 years ago and whenever we have something that isn’t as nice as we’d hoped it still gets brought up... ‘it’s no lemon risotto though is it!’

We were going to have fajitas but the chicken didn't look quite right. I made the fajitas with chicken nuggets. It didn't taste brill.

😂😂😂

@donajimena I'm on your wavelength - I add grated cheddar to my supernoodles, definitely perks them up and makes them go all gooey! If I'm doing them as a 'shit tea' for my DS then I also throw in a handful of frozen peas while they're cooking, to make me feel like I'm actually giving him a nutritious meal.

DH cried when I served my infamous 'white meal'. Fish in cheese sauce with cauliflower and mash.