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Original poster

Do you have problems? I can solve them all.

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 26/04/2019 21:26

Hello, I'm Thigh. I will work with you to help you achieve the perfect balance in life. I am unfettered by knowledge or training as are my on call team of kindly agony aunts. We're ready to heal you.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
27
Nowaypast · 28/04/2019 10:11

I was just hoping the same Auntie - she should be, she's had all morning to train. If not, I'll ask one of the dc if I can have their teeth to glue on to my nails as a temporary measure.

Nowaypast · 28/04/2019 10:13

Or grabbing the post just as the postie's putting it through the letterbox.

thislido · 28/04/2019 10:42

I’m handy with the pritt-stick. Aren’t we all by now?

AuntieCorruption · 28/04/2019 12:11

That's a good point! If we can perform organ transplants we can surely do our own nails!

Shall we pull out all our teeth and then pritt stick them to our fingers?

AuntieCorruption · 28/04/2019 17:10

HAAAAAAAGH HAKA GAAAAAH HAKE OOOOSH

Gather round everyone!!

We have a crisis ... To the tune of it is 'WORK' tomorrow and, for some of us, it has been work at various points during THE FUCKING WEEKEND!

I am not happy with this! Just because we can sometimes manage to shirk and skive of in Thighland does not mean we should actually be obliged to do this shit at all!

Am I right??

Ok now we need to get proper tooled up and weaponised and be ready for an out and out war against 'The Man'

Are you with me?

Have you ever seen 'School of Rock'? Come on now, of course you have!

So Thisters what shall we do to sock it to 'The Man' ? Think 'School of Rock' !

Even the head teacher in SOR who was 'The Man' didn't like it! My point is 'WE' can be the salvation of fuck all! Right here right now!!

I knew I was meant to be a political leader instead of a whore!!

Phew! I need another lie down now!

MrsCatE · 28/04/2019 19:16

Ooh ooh I'm here! . Completely invested in "sockin' it to the man". Just have a nap first - wake me up when we're ready to riot.

AuntieCorruption · 28/04/2019 19:32

MrsCat thank heavens you are so actively on board!! We need to stop tomorrow from happening!! Any ideas?

AuntieCorruption · 28/04/2019 19:35

Come on people this is a 'call to arms' we NEED tomorrow to still be the weekend!!

Hairdont · 28/04/2019 20:54

Auntie perhaps, as a temporary measure, and until more robust tactics can be put into place, we could all stay at home tomorrow. When our places of work ring us to check up on us, we all say "but it's Sunday today". This has to be said with complete conviction, and repeated many times. Then, as icing on the cake, we say "look, I'll conference call my friends - they know what day of the week it is". And then we all back each other up.

Hairdont · 28/04/2019 20:55

Not one of my better plans but I've run out of gin again. Actually, I think someone must be stealing it, I'm sure I didn't finish it myself ...

AuntieCorruption · 28/04/2019 21:03

Hair I often feel that way myself about gin etc, ie someone else is defo drinking it!

Yes! We shall all join together against the Monday happening!!

AuntieCorruption · 28/04/2019 21:07

X'use me for an hour but LOD is on

DogHairEverywhere · 28/04/2019 21:14

What about the 'i thought it was a bank holiday' excuse, for not going in on a Monday?

DogHairEverywhere · 28/04/2019 21:17

The trouble I've found with gin, is that it evaporates once the seal is broken.

Nowaypast · 28/04/2019 21:27

The trouble I've found with gin is that I drink it all

AuntieCorruption · 28/04/2019 22:04

Ok well we could roll with "I thought it was bank holiday' for tomorrow, and then, of course we have a real one, but what will we do for the rest of our lives?

We need to solve the problem that is Monday!

BTW does anyone know if 'H'' is really Hastings?

ProjectGainsborough · 28/04/2019 22:23

Is the solution not to set ourselves up as purveyors of disgusting nail art / assassins?

I don’t mind doing work that I love.

AuntieCorruption · 28/04/2019 22:28

Project that is ok but what is the salary?

I cannot work for nothing you know!

What I CAN do is nothing for money!

waxahatchee · 28/04/2019 23:38

Okay so I don't want to make you all feel like shit but I have drunk a bottle of wine with my friend and I don't work on Mondays EVER. I work it's in the other days but not on the Mondays so I suggest that you talk to your empoloyers about doing the same. It's good because you can drink lots on Sunday's and relax on Mondays.

All love to thighland

waxahatchee · 28/04/2019 23:40

It doesn't matter too much though as Auntie tells me we will be rich soon and not have to go to work. She said all the brilliant thigh ideas would mean we will be rich !

LadAlive · 29/04/2019 00:40

But surely if you don't work Mondays then Tuesday becomes Monday?

We need a new calendar, a Thigorian Calendar.
Only days off and bank holidays.
No more Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays or Friday mornings.
53 Fridays?

LadAlive · 29/04/2019 00:47

I make no sense.
If we have 53 Fridays, we stay as we are.
Who is good at Maths?
I can't be bothered to work it out.
I'm going to sleep.

AuntieCorruption · 29/04/2019 07:43

wax yes we will be rich
with our schemes! This time next year in fact!

But we definitely shouldn't have Mondays!

Lad is quite right! We need them all to be Fridays! My phone calculator is sometimes good at maths I'll ask it now ...

Ok it said we need 260 Fridays in order to have no other weekdays! Is that ok with everyone?

Happy Friday btw! 🥳

thislido · 29/04/2019 21:27

That sounds perfect. I hope you aren’t all dead.

MrsCatE · 29/04/2019 22:50

I think we are all dead

So many threads make me angry 'HURGHH HUGGHHH' PASE DOBLE!! I think I've exploded, which may
explain scattered offal everywhere. I'll be back; to f
^$k eyeballs.

I can see yoooouu - come, chase!