Do you have problems? I can solve them all.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Hello, I'm Thigh. I will work with you to help you achieve the perfect balance in life. I am unfettered by knowledge or training as are my on call team of kindly agony aunts. We're ready to heal you.

I'd like to add Paul Weller. He's a cunt. I went to see him in concert and he refused to play a single Jam song. Did he think I was a fan of The Style Council or something?

I have a very bad Malcolm actually, kill him.

Fair enough, wax

I hate it when they do that thigh. Selfish tosspot.

I'd add Margarets for obvious reasons but can't cos all my grannies reaching back to the Norman conquest have been called Margaret and I would erase myself.

Spare all Margarets!

Onky if we do historical killing which seems like unnecessary effort.

Yeah we can't do a blanket killing of Margarets because I know one who I do like but also one who i don't - it is a conflict of interests.

Ok no Margarets

What about Jims ? Such as Jim Davidson, Jimmy Saville and Jim who nicked my bike and buckled the wheel?

Oh Saville is dead of course

Hello pooter, sorry that real life has intervened. It's shit sometimes.

I know a Dawn who presents a problem re killing her. On the one hand, she is very nice. On the other hand, she's run off with a man who owns islands and planes. So do I like her or am I pathologically jealous of her and want her gone? She's in America if that helps?

I think swedes (the vegetable not the people) would make excellent murdering fools. And turnips.

wax are you near Swansea? Your offer of going over there with your tractor is very tempting but not if you have to ride it down the M4 for three hours.

Tony! I know several, and they're all arses. Strictly speaking that would include Anthony too.

Maybe this is why some parents aim for yoonique names to free their children from awful namesakes?

Yes we must spare Margarets. I had a very lovely Aunty Margaret who bizarrely I dreamt about last night. Actually, she'd have been a great thighlander - she was almost permanently pissed, and had a, um, continence problem which made sharing beds interesting.

noway excellent call on Tony!

Most names used by PG Wodehouse are OK by me.

Yes Poorer perhaps nobody noticed but this has all been carried out before?! And that's why names 'die out' like Gertrude for example. Some parents know about it. ?

Pooter

God wax you're GOOD. Are we looking at an Extinction Event?

I love you all so much, it almost makes me smile.
Dereks should die, one told me I looked like a deckchair in my beautiful silk Princess Di-esque frock c1985. He bought me six halves of Heineken and wanted a blow job. He made do with a shandy, I do have standards.

Sorry, sorry ... I'm a bit late with this application, but please can I fill out an exemption form for another Dawn too? simply because if she slithers off her mortal coil soon I will be copping for her workload and unable to shirk as much as I do currently!

Too lazy for that shizz!

Where are we on Shauns?

Lad he had some nerve, Dereks are a 3 at best, you are an 11.

dangly I reckon Sean is permissible, Shaun not.