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Original poster

Do you have problems? I can solve them all.

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 26/04/2019 21:26

Hello, I'm Thigh. I will work with you to help you achieve the perfect balance in life. I am unfettered by knowledge or training as are my on call team of kindly agony aunts. We're ready to heal you.

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Thread gallery
27
waxahatchee · 04/05/2019 09:15

Pulled it back with the smiley Naked Grin

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 04/05/2019 09:42

Naked i think I have gone on holiday by mistake you terrible cunt.

I think i have gone soft, soon I'll be smiling at children and then where would we be?

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 04/05/2019 09:50

Re this softening of my evil infarcted heart.

It's not the holiday, it's happiness. Thighland has given me thriends, some of whom understand me. I note that you are all happier too and appear to like each other.

This is bad. How are we to do our necessary murder work if we're observing fawns without attempting to ride on them.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 04/05/2019 09:53

Mao spoke of the need for continuous revolution. How did he achieve this? By killing of course. That plus Madame Mao's 8 works of literature being the only entertainment allowed.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 04/05/2019 09:56

Mao's death toll was 60 million and ours is a pitiful 20 or so. Naked as you are Oppenheimer i demand that you weaponise our piss and build us a chinook.

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nakedscientist · 04/05/2019 10:04

thigh: Mao spoke of the need for continuous revolution.

I have always (as in just now) interpreted this as referring to the feeling in one's head after appropriate levels of G'n'T

Do you think Mao wrote this in a moment of drunken sincerity?

nakedscientist · 04/05/2019 10:11

Thigh, I think your phone is tricking you.

I'm "Opening timer: one who waits eagerly out side the pub/ off-licence for the doors to open."With the aim to restart the feeling of " continuing revolution" that will inevitably set in by mid afternoon.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 04/05/2019 10:27

Naked don't threaten me will a dead fish, I've had a crack at the Mick.

You are a nuclear scientist aren't you? That's why i married you.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 04/05/2019 10:36

If you're not a nuclear scientist I've been fondling your queue all this time under false pretences.

As your husband i command you to go back to university and learn how to make bombs out of piss, also to build me a chinook.

I'd ask DT but she's just a whore.

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nakedscientist · 04/05/2019 10:53

Trouble is I'm naked, which can be tricksy when dealing with unstable isotopes.

Helicopters can be so noisy and vibration- ey, why not hold onto a rising balloon?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 04/05/2019 15:02

Just saying

Do you have problems? I can solve them all.
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DogHairEverywhere · 04/05/2019 15:41

Is that your bum hole Thigh? You want to rub some aftersun on that. That's the trouble with holidays...the sun is hotter than you're used to (even in Wales).

nakedscientist · 04/05/2019 16:33

I find that the carrot is infinitely more beautiful than the rose

Do you have problems? I can solve them all.
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 04/05/2019 17:09

The rose is essentially a tart for the bees. As a youth i used to weep in butchers' shop.

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AuntieCorruption · 04/05/2019 22:18

Excuse me thigh i might be just a whore but i most definitely CAN make bombs out of piss (and shit even though that wasn;t in the spec) and i've been building Chinooks for years just as a hobby! I can supply a whole fleet!

Never underestimate a strumpet of my callibre!

thislido · 04/05/2019 22:22

Is it part of your act, DT, you’re lowered in from one of your Chinooks?

thislido · 04/05/2019 22:24

Was Mao perhaps a fan of roundabouts? The playground kind, not Milton Keynes.

AuntieCorruption · 04/05/2019 22:26

Yes it can be on certain weeks this , I have to keep changing it up or the punters get bored!

It's the same with the piss bomb, they love that but I can't just keep churning out the same old, same old!

ProjectGainsborough · 04/05/2019 22:54

Wait. Am I not a thriend because I don’t understand? This is worrying. I rarely understand anything.

On another note, the bendy woman has frozen in the act of performing a soixant neuf on herself. She really is busy, isn’t she?

Do you have problems? I can solve them all.
nakedscientist · 04/05/2019 23:41

Shat on by Tories, shovelled up by labour, ordered to build a chanook by thigh

thislido · 05/05/2019 08:32

You are a dear thriend, Project. Tell us what you don’t understand. Are you buried in a mountain of delicious pastries?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/05/2019 10:05

My dear Throject of course you are a thriend. I said "my thriends, some of whom understand me". I value you greatly and if i cared about being understood I'd be an entirely different person.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/05/2019 10:12

Thislido roundabouts?! Are you mad woman! Mao was far too busy reading Madame Mao's 8 instructive plays and killing to go on roundabouts.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/05/2019 10:15

I've been wondering whether I should look for a boyfriend. Ugh, even the words make me shudder. However, i could do with some cash and someone to do the garden.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/05/2019 10:18

I've been watching couples at the seaside. They're holding hands, they don't even make a little moue of disgust and wipe their hands afterwards. It's odd.

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