Do you have problems? Would you like a solution?

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Please come into my advice clinic. All my agony aunts are both untrained and insane. We WILL help you.

I think this could be the money making scheme we've been waiting for.
Selling any parts of our bodies that'll regrow.
I could stuff a mattress with my pubes.
Dandruff could be marketed as fake snow for that festive feeling.
If we could find a way to scoop the fat out of my arse, we could do a roaring trade in bird feeders.

I keep getting ads for Little Yeos - yoghurts for weaning? Project renamed the yoghurts Little Cunts a while back. We decided that sales of the yoghurt for yummy mummies with PFBs would fall but would rise with those who are either over motherhood or have infected fannies. The two probs go hand in hand.

Bored of your childers? Time to go on the rob/slag it up.

Maybe we should sell snow to the Eskimos!

Is anybody an Eskimo? Would you like some 'snow'?

I have some in a spray can I can dispense to you poste haste!

I'm getting ads offering me a free one day gym pass. No mate, not even for free.

Also a course for me to become a hypnotherapist - now that would suit me a very great deal. My megalomania would possibly be sated if i could reach into everyone's subconscious.

Ok while we are brain storming we need s market for poo!

We can all collect a substantial amount within s week given our toxic diets so how to we package it and present it as 'marketable'?

We need to clear up these issues before our launch!

Let's have some blue skies thinking out of the box and get this show on the road!

Ps By 'show' I do not mean my turn at the gentlemen's club as 'Auld Bag' ! That is already a success!

I saw someone drinking a bottle of fancy water and it said "smart water" - well clearly not. How the fuck do you measure whether people are getting smarter from water. Do you take a baseline test before and after?

I'm willing to sell the following luxury products:

All the fat off my arse and gut
As much piss as required
Facial hair
Thigh Breath (fag scented)
Thames Water that has been through 8 people before you drink it

When I were a lad we just drank from't horses trough or a puddle.

Brownies au Thigh.

Thislido I'm getting Cutty Sark too. You're not trying to trick me into a friendly lunch are you? I trusted you!

We really do need a business plan. All our ventures have been abject failures thus far.

I think we should have put more effort into our menacing greetingz cardz.

Could we attach pubic hair to the greeting cards in some way? P'raps a 'funny' moustache or unusual hair styles?

Yes I loved those! Do you remember they stemmed from me asking after someone's arse?

How's your Arse cards we do need! I would actually buy one if actually produced!

Can Reg make these?

Are there any expenses involved? Would we need new crayons after a time?

What's the predicted turnover? How much profit pee item? Is the market strong enough? Coatings?

Aaaagh!! Where is naked Need a SUM!!!

• Costings

LovelyCocks, if i send you my pubes, can you mock up a few prototypes?

*per item

I'm sure Reg could do a pube-y arse card.

I've been forced into looking at vacuum cleaners by the ads. I don't even want one but am so weak willed i can't guarantee i won't buy one.

Ok 'How's your Pubey Arse'

That'll sell it's s dead cert!

thigh, stay strong, don't let them hypnotise you with their shiney new machines. Rub your inner thigh, and concentrate on reverse improvement.

I think the first card was to Klepto and said "Soz 4 Bad Arse"

Hey where the fuck is your drunken mate Klepto? Cheeky mare appears to have fucked off.

I can feel the millions just waiting to roll into my bank account. Just think of all the snax we can buy and how glorious thighland will become if we never have to leave to do real life.

Hey!! Yes!! Where the fuck is Klept ??

I must go back in time and find the correct spelling of her name and then summon her forth!

Are we going for psychological threats, along the lines of 'I'm watching you' or 'i can see you' as well as the more obvious, 'I've got a machete and i know where you live'.

Those sound fine Dog it's a good job we have such brilliant latent talent within our thisters!

Oh Dog how you doth tease me with visions of glory. No RL ever, ever again. Here's an idea, we make money out of Thighland by just jizzing around on our phones all day.

Imagine chortling and eating, alone, as the cash rolls in.

Dog we thought Thinking of You was wonderfully menacing. That would freak me out. Thinking what? Why? And most importantly, who?