Do you have problems? Would you like a solution?

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Please come into my advice clinic. All my agony aunts are both untrained and insane. We WILL help you.

Thislido but they're weird in a nervous way, we're outspoken in an aggressive and joyous way.

I have a theory about the shits, i think it's moral badness leaving the body. Shitting out one's sins.

We're special, they're crazy. I've always known i was destined for power and greatness, i would never have imagined it was running a Nation of The Disaffected.

*DT i found a copy of The Phantom Prince by Ted Bundy's girlfriend for only £50. It's arrived today, I'm so excited.

Oh excellent thigh

I love Ted Bundy, he's my serial killer crush!

Mine too, I'll lend it to you by post if you like. I won't visit but the postman will.

My criminologist crush is Professor David Wilson, i mustn't get too close to him though in case he diagnosis me.

The more I read of that thread, the more I’m envious of the imaginative quirks. I was really tempted to name change to DebraWinger but I was sacred you might break.

The ability of other people to write books, compose music and direct films is all making a lot more sense though - people are actually doing it all the time in their heads.

Yay for Mantis shrimps!

Though that infomercial missed a key point about their eyes that I will now fill you in on because I KNOW how committed to accurate science Thighland really is!

They can see circular polarization of light! I had to stump up 80K for a machine in my lab to do that, and mantis shrimp get it for free in their actual eyes....

I did try them first of course, before resorting to the machine. I made them a nice little habitat and trained them to communicate the results of experiments with their death sticks etc.

After a while the endless demands for new students to torture and the late night west wing box set binges really got me down...

Mind you the machine isn't much better. Its currently bitching about a lack of nitrogen gas and I can't find the right screwdriver to undo the 90 degree base plate for love nor money. Mantis shrimp'd have it off in no time....

thigh so damn jelly. TB is also my serial fascination. Strange to know he has a thirty something daughter in the world. Would love to know how got on in life.

My current problem: still hungover from a few drinks last night. Tried a dirt Maccy’s Breakfast. Still feeling like crap.

Witch have you had black, weak tea with half a teaspoon of sugar? That'll fix you right up, also lemon squash.

M3 we are strangely committed to science here, but inaccurate science that fits our theory of the day.

Thislido i despise Debra Winger, she refuses to do as I subliminally instruct her to.

Today I am Being More Thigh. I have just got home and technically need to log on and do a couple of emails. Instead I am lying on the sofa appreciating the empty house (don't have to get kids until 5.15) and the fact my cleaner came today.

I have been out up ladders in grotty loft spaces and talking to Important People all day so I am very tired and deserve a sofa lie

Lovely, knitter, embrace it!

Knitter you could still up the Thigh ante and not do the emails ever and refuse to let your children come home at all .

I think that would be best for you!

Also try to pack work in! Maybe you could live in someone's shed and get a key cut so to help yourself to their home comforts when they are out at work?

You could hussle all their wine and snax to your shed!

Hey, in fact why don't I do that??

AC my husband thinks I should pack work in but I would get super fat. Also I am a shit cook so he would soon regret the diet of macaroni cheese and freezer pizza he would get if I was in charge of catering. He likes things like salmon with puy lentils and baby leeks. Luckily he also likes cooking said meals as he could absolutely jog the fuck on if he thinks I am arsing myself with that. However if I didn't work he would expect me to cook. I would rather do battles with the bats in roof spaces than cook. Or do laundry. He is well trained...

I think you deserve a shed. I may come and visit and steal your wine and snax though...

Ive had tea, biscuits and a small vomit. #LivingMyBestLife

Knitter would your husband be prepared to support me? I bring almost nothing to the table, except a terrible work ethic and a willingness to eat almost anything served to me.

Secret I hope the biscuits at least brought pleasure before the vom.

Ok I gave in to the pull of posting on the 'weird behaviour' thread!

I'm not doing three like thigh though!

I was very impressed with all the imaginary life contributions. I barely have the energy to imagine my own life, let alone a set of alternatives.

Yes I thought that too, and what is with all this 'counting' and 'dividing'?

Why would you make everything into maths?

Some people just haven't enough to do!

Knitter can your husband support me too please? I'll bring nothing positive and a great deal that's negative to his life. Is he a masochist by any chance? That would be ideal.

DT "i wish i was a fish" my arse. You forgot to mention sorting loads of casual murderesses into PD Clusters for a laugh.

Back to your shitting theory, thigh, it’s largely psychological for me. If I relax or finish something I’ve been putting off I have a really good shit. A previous ‘weird stuff your body does’ thread revealed that I’m not the only one who needs a shit when in a bookshop or the library. Wilkinson’s had the same affect on someone else. Browsing shits, basically. My weirdness involves no maths.

Thislido I'm glad you brought the state of your bowels up, please excuse me for not enquiring sooner. I noted earlier that you shat whilst on a conference call and also had 3 cups of tea. At first i admired you for this and then i noticed holes in your story.

How did you wipe your arse and flush the loo whilst drinking tea and being on the phone?

Oh no. You do not want to be supported by him. He likes to be appreciated. A Lot. So I have to gush over all the meals and tell him awesome it all is.

I like macaroni cheese with bacon in and would happily eat that every night.

But come one and all, and maybe we can drag him into the ThighLife

thigh maybe this wasn't on the toilet at the time of the shitting? I'm sure you said we could use the floor!

Yes I know I lied on the weird thread just for attention but I won't get any, they're all even weirder than me over there!

I can't compete so am staying away!