Do you have problems? Would you like a solution?

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Please come into my advice clinic. All my agony aunts are both untrained and insane. We WILL help you.

Awww thigh {heart emoticon) ... "speech"... ok then, here goes...

"It is an honour and a privilege to receive these amazing honours from our Thighlord and I am so very honoured to receive her cock!"

I practiced for that my whole life!

Death by gorilla maybe. There must be mail order gorilla service somewhere on the internet.

Or we could drop him into a tank of piranhas. Didn’t they find some in a village fishpond recently?

Ok Project all you need to know is this is me, ok?

We could crush him with our thighs like Bond villainesses.

Killer bees?

Oh this is making me so happy.

Oh but I liked the fish Project

I feel like a plan is formulating ...

Me "Hi, I still like you, come round for a "coffee"

Him "OK"

Me

Him

Me "Bye Bye, you horrid, wet whore!"

Excellent. You’ll need to find a big enough tank, maybe the bath. Piranhas would dispose of the evidence too.

Not sure how you then dispose the piranhas, but since we don’t really need baths in thighland so you could prob just keep them as pets.

Yess!! Good shout! I'll keep Piranhas as pets in the bath tub!

I think I'd enjoy that! i might even build in a 'glass viewing window" tothe side of my bath.

In fact if I do install this, we could enjoy my future murders together!! [heart emoticon]

I'll just leave this here for tomorrow:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3567494-to-ask-what-your-weird-secret-behaviour-is?pg=1

Stone Henge.............

Is in Wiltshire.

Naked you caught me being Debra Winger! Stonehenge = Thomas Hardy = Wiltshire innit.

I thought it was something fancier than confirmation bias. Something named after someone like the Meissner effect or Schrodinger's cat. Maybe it is confirmation bias though.

It's strange that I am so happy in Thighland when we continuously plot war, nuclear destruction and indiscriminate murder. I feel fulfilled. And for a band of misanthropes to be thriends is very rare.

Are we killing exes now, I'll have to find the list. We might have difficulty tracking down "horseteeth" but we can try.

Just because it's nearly half 2 in the morning.

Here's my impulse-can't-really-afford-it alien piggy bank.

Nighty night. 😴

Yes we definitely need to
kill exes thigh! I'm surprised we haven't before! It's because we're so benign and kindly I think!

Anyway because we are also malevolent we should start doing it now to save other women having to bother with them! Just think.. if we all did this we would save years of each other's lives wasted on walking penises!

( is that the correct spelling of penis plural? No matter)

Anyway, yes, it's a worthy cause and it's time to hunt down Horseteeth! Shall I search Facebook?

ICant that's a wonderful money box! What an excellent buy! 😍

Nice box can’t

Someone has sabotaged my bottom. I haven’t even had sultana bran.

Proj i just indulged in some sultana bran so we can be shit 💩 twins. What have you been up to that has created your current arse problem?

Oh, just remembered, has aloo sag yesterday. It's going to be a bad arse day.

DT thanks for putting that weird behaviour thread there

I'm trapped in it now. No way I'm confessing to them that I'm Pol Pot.

The world fell out of my bottom yesterday...do you think we are in some way sharing a bug even though we don't meet? Perhaps this is what is meant by a virus on your laptop? I shall wear gloves for typing on this thread now.
I suspect mine was actually caused by eating a healthy lunch, so I'm rebalancing my gut with a breakfast of digestive biscuits and posh chocolate buttons.

thigh I think we should all go on it and confess! It can be a funz day out for us!

See we really do need those 'Sorry about your arse!' cards now don't we? Arse trouble is rife in Thighland!

Or even 'Sorry about you're arse' depending on the nature of the receiver.

'Sorry about you're an arse' sometimes!

'Sorry you're an arse of an ex and I'm coming after you, so start running you girly Bitch' ?

Funny, I had to rebalance my gut microbiotica last night by skipping dinner and eating only Maryland cookies ( slightly stale) and peanut cookies.

Thank goodness, we in Thighland, know how to look after ourselves, with our wise gut rebalancing diets. I feel another business idea coming on. I volunteer for being a taste tester for any chocolate related gut balancing foods.

Got the Shits?... try some sherbet.
Diarrhoea? Eat digestives (I'm guessing they're called digestives, 'cos they help with your digestion).

I can spell diarrhoea 'cos of this mnemonic
Doesn't
It
Always
Run
Really
Horribly
Over
Each
Ankle

Sorry about your arses.

I got about 5 posts into that thread and was struck by how weird they were compared to us.