Do you have problems? Would you like a solution?

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Please come into my advice clinic. All my agony aunts are both untrained and insane. We WILL help you.

Pretty sure Elsa would have an opinion if Trump grabbed thigh’s pussy.

Ooh, imagine if Trump got eaten by a lion, that would be fun. How can we make that happen?

Crisp taster has to be a job, surely?

If that's a real job I'll retract my solemn vow to ne'er submit my CV to the 'man' e'er again!

S'cuse me for advertising but 'does anyone want a Crisp Taster?'

Dinner out with friends. Just sploged sauce down my front. What options do I have?

I think Donald T (I refrain from referring to him as DT because that's me and t'was only a dream brought about my my megalomania!) So I think he could be brought into the lion's den via 'entrapment'.

Sooooo, to expand, if crisp eating is indeed a 'job' we will send such a job spec from the US version of Walkers (is is not Cheetos?) Anyway, we send off all the shit to The Whitehouse and then just wait...

The fucker will apply, and who will appear on the interview panel, why Elsa of course !!!!

Lick it. Never waste good food.

I'm sure crisp taster must be a job but I hate crisps so it wouldn't be for me.

My friends dad worked for Rowntrees when they still had a factory in York, and she used to tell us he was a chocolate plumber. I never was sure if this was true, but they had an excellent treat cupboard so I wasn't going to question it!

The job is super specific so I won't say exactly what it is, but I would be so amazing to be doing it - I was very resigned to my current job which pays the bills and isn't totally horrific, but this one is a couple of levels up and I WANT IT

Witch you need , sponge with fairy solution, if not that then flash with bleach or if not that then witchcraft!

secretwitch pretend it's the new fashion? Compliment to the chef that you want to take the food home with you

However mattress tester would be even better. I would deffo forgoe this job to do mattress testing!

Why are you out of uniform and wearing a top?

I don't have a pussy, i have a huge cock.

DT so you're after my crown eh? Want to be Thigh II? I'll challenge you to a pissing contest.

Knitter I think the job you are after must involve the Rowntrees treats you describe otherwise why would one even bother to get out of bed in the morning?

You want it? It should be yours! We must join forces and tool up to defend your position as the 'Only Live Candidate'.

After that we must hope with fingers crossed that they will choose you!

Thank you both so much! I think it might be best if I just spill fairy down the front in a sort of abstract arty way. Although, my friend offered to blot it out with her Laura Mercier powder. I shall have another drink and consider my options.

A super specific job to me says Mi6 or bomb maker or counterfeiter. Don't be shy, we need your skillz.

thigh Sigh! It was just a dream!! One cannot help one's dreams!

In response to my other disciplinaries, I am truly sorry to be in my top for now but t'is because am in awe of LIne of Duty and would wish to be a real part of AC12 but in a more lazy, online fashion which does not involve any running or interval training.

And thigh , I've always admired your towering cock (and intellect) SIR YES SIR!!!!

What is in Wiltshire? I can't think of a single thing. Perhaps nothing. Thomas Hardy?

Only Live Candidate has a superb ring about it. Where are the fuckboys and their plastic sheets?

One of the options on my degree course was an introduction to explosives. Sadly it was wildly oversubscribed and I never got to do it. Not that this will stop me, OBVS

DT when are you going to be yourself again? You know we determinedly deadname thisters, look at the misery poor Reginald has been forced to suffer.

Great now that you have confirmed you are a fat arsed Scot rather than an American we can trust you to run our US branch of Thighland. How was your ridiculous week of enforced appreciation?

Oh god ok I'm boring old me again, right!

I was so Sexy and Dangerous as a part of AC12!

I hope you now realise how much being truly Thigh means to me!

Wasn’t Thomas Hardy Devon? Or Sheffield, or something? Somewhere with trees.

I’m always astounded by how little I actually know.

If we do obliterate Wiltshire can I claim it? I’d quite like to be queen of a desolate wasteland, just me and some roaches.

Project do my ex first please? It'll be in the best interests of womankind AND himself!

Knitter nothing will stop you now you have Thighland behind you! Even if it does, that is also considered very Thigh!

Perhaps nuking’s too good for him dangly? We could smear him in jam and have him eaten alive by ants - how would that be?

DT you can be AC for the duration of series 5 of LoD. That is my gift to you in recognition of Services to Thighland - I award you a SHIT thmedal, with love ❤. I annoint you with my cock.

Project it's not a bad suggestion per se but we don't want to introduce anything he might enjoy!

Do we have anything else to suggest for termination?

I have literally no idea what LoD is. None. It’s another thing I don’t know.

God, we must have tons of fiendish ways to murder an ex.