Neighbours rang the police on me and OH?

[dyingforaholiday]

Me and OH we're arguing this morning nothing out of the usual probs 10 minutes OH looked out the window and goes the bloody police are here. I thought something had happened to my brother as he is a drug user so I was crying. Then they said that they've had a noise complaint.

I'm so angry I feel like going round there! They have only done this as I spoke to there landlord (my friend) about all the dog poo in the garden.

Do I go round there or seek some kind of revenge I'm so angry 😡

@CostanzaG are you making the assumption I have had no experience with dv? And why?

No i'm making the assumption that you lack empathy.

it took less than 10 mins for my friend to be murdered by her partner. The neighbours didn't call the police because they hadn't heard them arguing before and it wasn't a prolonged argument. The coroner said had the police been called she may have survived. Instead she bled to death and her son found her the morning after.

In this case there was a child in the house. Of course the police should have been called.

YABVVVU. I have had 6 or 7 sets of neighbours in my life, and I have heard rows and arguments between couples/families, (had a few myself!) and I have never ever ever felt the need to call the police. Not in 30 years of living away from my folks - or the 18-20 years when I did.

Til 2 years ago, a private let house 3 doors up had a couple who were 23 (her) and 27 (him,) with 2 toddlers, and they had several big bust ups where they were yelling and screaming. The 4th or 5th one they had was a stinker! He was smashing up furniture, and screaming hysterically and saying 'I'll fuckin' kill ya, I'll fuckin' kill ya!. She was screaming blue murder (scared terrified screams not angry,) and the 2 and 3 year old boy and girl were in the house!

I called the police and said the woman and toddlers were in danger. They came within 5 minutes, and heard the screaming as they pulled up outside their house. As soon as the police knocked their door, it all went silent. 20 minutes later, they took HIM away.

One time I have called the police on a neighbour. ONE time.

Sorry @dyingforaholiday but it must have been a pretty severe and scary row for the police to have been called. OR you are really noisy, shouty, anti social people, and your neighbours are sick of you.

Reading through the thread, I agree a bit with a few other posters that you both sound quite childish and entitled. And your neighbours have my sympathy.

I have to tell you that if police are called out because of parents arguing in front of their DC this will show as a log for domestic abuse and yes they will have to pass this on to social services. I doubt if much will happen if this is just the one time - but - if it becomes a pattern and even more so if you retaliate to your neighbours (this will count as anti social behaviour) you are likely to be contacted by a social worker who may also speak with your DC's school / health services.

Children witnessing domestic violence between their parents (yes this includes verbal) can be placed on child protection as this can be seen as emotional abuse or neglect.

They would then require you to do a course around domestic violence or anger management.

Just saying ..........

You should be grateful they care enough about your safety to call the police.
10 minutes of arguing is a lot!
And don't think your dd isn't affected by it. As a child of constantly arguing parent's, believe me, it has a long lasting effect.

I do not believe that this row was only 10 minutes - given how stretched the police are, the idea that they arrived so quickly is not credible - unless they had a time machine or a teleport device!

It is NOT usual to have rows that are loud enough for the neighbours to feel the need to call the police - and fighting like that with a child in the house is harmful for the child.

It all sounds so Jeremy Kyle, to be honest.

"and people say that MN is middle class...."

Good grief don't be silly! The middle class would never row or raise their voices would they...

I once heard my next door neighbors have a screaming row and I did call the police, they had a new born baby and the walls were bouncing and glass smashing. He tried to glass her. The police removed him and he has never returned, she later told me he beat her daily even while pregnant.

Anything can happen behind closed doers

Honestly maybe they are looking out for you need for all the drama god sake

Maybe the middle class comment was in relation to the drug using brother. Because the middle classes don't do drugs either do they?

There is no domestic abuse me and my partner get on fine. Like I said it was raised voices our houses are semi detached they hear everything we are doing so can they hear us. We wasn't screaming or throwing things I shouted at OH begging him to listen to me. DD was upstairs in her cot fast asleep.

And when I say it was 10 minutes it really was hence why I was shocked and thought it was for my brother because it was so quick!

Who calls the police on neighbours arguing if I want to argue in my own house I will.

I once called the police on hearing a loud and aggressive argument coming from a house several doors up from me. Firstly, I didn’t want to have to listen to it and secondly, I was concerned for the woman’s welfare although tbh, she gave as good as she got. You sound like a lovely neighbour by the way.

If this was as innocent as a 10 minute argument with raised voices could be and the neighbour was doing it as revenge for the dog poo then you would be best to leave it as things would go tit for tat with the neighbour and eventually escalate to different things.

But from your posts on here I would put money on it not being as minor as you make out and not only for 10 mins as it doesn't give much time for realisation that an argument is happening to call police and for their arrival time.

You sound like a nightmare neighbour, its usual to have 10 minute arguments with your child present, your terrible attitude, your talk of revenge and your interference with their landlord. It is their home while they have a tenancy so why go behind their back? They have the same rights to leave poo in their garden as any homeowner the only thing they owe the landlord is rent and to return the house in the same condition it was provided in. (people who let their dogs poo all over their garden are dicks though)

Well, it depends what you were shouting "for 10 minutes", doesn't it?

"Bob, you know you should cut down your hours before you crash the delivery van'" vs "FUCK'S SAKE, PACK IT IN, BOB, YOU'RE FUCKING MENTAL, YOU'RE GOING TO HURT SOMEONE"

There is no domestic abuse me and my partner get on fine

Noone doubts you do but your neighbour doesn't necessarily. They just heard a loud argument. Really just chalk it up to experience. You have no idea how the row sounded to them.

Definitely don't go round and as for talk of revenge? Don't even consider going down that route.

If you were both bawling at each other at the top of your voices for 10 minutes I'm not surprised that the police were called. The neighbour's weren't to know it 'wasn't serious ', it clearly sounded bad enough for them to do so.
Perhaps this wasn't the first time they've had to listen to you two fighting?

I've calmed down now but can not get over how petty that is of them. The police just took our names and left.

When they first moved in they was smoking weed and it was blowing into DS room and I went round to tell them to stop.

As for going round to 'seek revenge '....., sounds like you're a neighbour from hell 😳
----> Jeremy Kyle's that way

Whatever they have done in the past is irrelevant.

The facts of this incident are that you and your husband were arguing loudly enough for neighbours to hear.

Concentrate on your behaviour that was amiss rather than pointlessly banging on about pother people.

*dyingforaholiday

I've calmed down now but can not get over how petty that is of them. The police just took our names and left.

When they first moved in they was smoking weed and it was blowing into DS room and I went round to tell them to stop.*

...................

The irony of being petty has gone right over your head.

Oh yeah. Get into a petty and vengeful spat with your neighbour now you've had a visit from the police and expect one from SS.

I mean what could possibly go wrong?

Sadiesnakes but how are the neighbours to know it will 'only' last 10 minutes? And that it isn't serious is they can hear it?

And when I say it was 10 minutes it really was hence why I was shocked and thought it was for my brother because it was so quick!

This doesn't make sense. What was so quick?

Would I hell go around to ask two people who were arguing to stop. God knows what the reaction would've been

I feel so lucky that I never once saw my parents argue. I saw polite disagreement and plenty of debate but I think it would have scared me a lot to see my parents yelling at each other.

I've calmed down now but can not get over how petty that is of them

You're looking at it as petty when actually it could have been concern.

You said it was nothing out of the usual.

Arguing loudly and/or aggressively enoughfor a neighbor to have rung the police on you, and in front of a child, is "nothing out of the usual". I'm glad they rang the police.

If it was truly loud enough to hear then someone shouting "Bob you've gone blind you need to cut your hours" shouldn't have really been a trigger for calling the police.

Penny for a pound that wasn't sell that was being shouted, because you don't need to shout that.

If you are genuinely worried about your DH working and their health, you don't shout argue, you sit then down and calmly give love and tell them you are worried about them.