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Original poster

Neighbours rang the police on me and OH?

159 replies

dyingforaholiday · 12/04/2019 13:29

Me and OH we're arguing this morning nothing out of the usual probs 10 minutes OH looked out the window and goes the bloody police are here. I thought something had happened to my brother as he is a drug user so I was crying. Then they said that they've had a noise complaint.

I'm so angry I feel like going round there! They have only done this as I spoke to there landlord (my friend) about all the dog poo in the garden.

Do I go round there or seek some kind of revenge I'm so angry 😡

OP posts:
twattymctwatterson · 12/04/2019 13:51

When you say arguing you mean shouting don't you? With your DD there in the house. Is that normal for you?

AlunWynsKnee · 12/04/2019 13:51

Where do you live that the police attend a shouting row in under 10 minutes?
I'd imagine it was longer than 10 minutes and more aggressive than you imply.

Oldraver · 12/04/2019 13:58

Who calls the police on neighbours arguing if I want to argue in my own house I will.

Neighbours who are fed up of screeching neighbours arguing

LaurieFairyCake · 12/04/2019 13:59

No, you shut up Confused

And don't argue loud enough in front of your child that someone calls the police

Obvs

TheFlis12345 · 12/04/2019 13:59

You were arguing for ten minutes, loud enough for neighbours to hear, with a child in the house? YABU.

BarbaraofSevillle · 12/04/2019 14:00

Who calls the police on neighbours arguing if I want to argue in my own house I will

They were probably concerned that you were killing each other. Also they would probably have known there was a child in the house.

There will be plenty of occasions where someone has killed or seriously injured their partner during a row and perhaps if the police had been called earlier/at all, they might have got there before it escalated like that.

CostanzaG · 12/04/2019 14:01

I'm glad they called the police. I wish more people would.....

You shouldn't be arguing like that in front of your child.

letsgohooray · 12/04/2019 14:02

and people say that MN is middle class.....

Ewitsahooman · 12/04/2019 14:02

What did the police say when they arrived? They usually give details of the complaint when doing a welfare check, names withheld, along the lines of "we had a call about some loud shouting and a child crying".

CostanzaG · 12/04/2019 14:03

There will be plenty of occasions where someone has killed or seriously injured their partner during a row and perhaps if the police had been called earlier/at all, they might have got there before it escalated like that

this ^^

Unfortunately I have personal experience of this. My best friend was killed by her partner and it was overheard by the neighbours who did nothing.

Happyspud · 12/04/2019 14:05

OP, I think you don’t realise the implications of the loud arguing you are doing. I suspect you grew up in a similar environment so it’s not your fault. But it’s really not the norm to be shouting at your partner and being shouted back at. Raised voices can happen with some couples but it’s really not good. And for the sake of any child, it should never happen in their earshot.

So hopefully you can take that on board and consider whether what you’re doing is unhealthy and very bad for your child. Police were called and SS may be alerted so this is quite serious. Very serious in fact.

m0therofdragons · 12/04/2019 14:08

It's not healthy or normal to argue long enough for police to be called, especially in front of dc. The fact you think it is is really concerning!

PaperFlowerTree · 12/04/2019 14:09

Why does your OH need to stop work? Is his job making him go blind?

Like PP's I too would, and have, rang the police when my previous neighbours were arguing. 10 minutes is a long time, especially in from of your DD. You actually sound quite childish, even with your responses on. here....a lot of tit for tat!

My parents argued lots when I was a child I hated it, it was an awful atmosphere to be brought up in.

Illberidingshotgun · 12/04/2019 14:09

My friend was seriously assaulted by her partner last year, and suffered a significant head injury. Fortunately her neighbours heard them arguing and called the emergency services. Always, always better to call them and them not be needed than not bother. The added concern in your situation was your DD. There is so much DV that goes on behind closed doors, and goes unreported. In this instance it appears that all was OK, so I presume the police aren't involved any more, and if there is SS involvement just let them do their investigation and work with them.

The thing that does concern me though is the talk of revenge. Why would you want to consider doing something unpleasant to your neighbour when they have acted appropriately, given the information they had?

yumyumpoppycat · 12/04/2019 14:11

Actually if your arguing about whether your husband should work due to going blind in one eye I think it would be worthwhile contacting local authority - they should have a visual impairment team that might be able to point your husband in direction of help (such as Access to Work) so he can keep working. What he probably doesn't need is you shouting at him to give up his job.

Drum2018 · 12/04/2019 14:11

YABU. Stop spying on the neighbours. If the dog poo is in their garden what business is it of yours? And they were right to call the police. For all they know one of you could be a victim of dv.

PaperFlowerTree · 12/04/2019 14:12

Plus you don't get to tell your OH to do anything, I assume your OH is an adult. You can certainly discuss, like adults, that you think your OH should stop working, especially if it is affecting your OH's health but no one gets to tell another adult what they can or can't do!

I wouldn't take kindly to DH telling me to stop doing something, I would however enter into an adult discussion with him if he thought something was negatively affecting my health.

DontCallMeShitley · 12/04/2019 14:13

I assume that the posters saying the dog poo is none of the OP's business have never lived next door to a garden with dog poo left in it.

The stench is terrible when it is left to accumulate.

As for the arguing, someone thought it was loud enough to call the Police rather than bang on the wall or door regardless of the dog poo complaint. Both sides need to be more considerate.

Redglitter · 12/04/2019 14:13

Who calls the police on neighbours arguing

Thankfully people like your neigbours do. Sometimes it's the only way Police will be alerted to cases of Domestic violence.

Your call will have been logged as a Domestic incident. A lot of people owe their life to neighbours like yours

Guyliner · 12/04/2019 14:14

If you really were just having a normal not threatening argument and they called the police the absolute last thing you want to do is go winding them up and trying to get revenge! Think about it.

I can hear my neighbours all the time, even the happy playing with the kids stuff. The OP having a normal argument for 10 minutes with her dh doesn't mean she was having a horrendous fight. Posters just can't know that and shouldn't assume.

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 12/04/2019 14:16

I wish my neighbours had called the police when ex was shouting at me and I was too afraid.

If the police save/help/rescue one person out of 1000 'wasted' calls then that's good enough for me.

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole · 12/04/2019 14:16

Our neighbour rang the police on us 6 years back because DD was crying for a long time. It was the first day the clolic showed up and the added stress of the police turning up while DD was so upset and in pain nearly broke me. Police were supportive mind, but it was just too much and a bit silly IMO as she could have just knocked to ask what the problem was. Our relationship has never been good since then tbh.

In this case though, it does maybe sound justified as 10 mins is a long time to be arguing, especially when your child is there. I wouldn't assume you were necessarily loud as basically, I think of my house and noise travels a LOT round here and you can sometimes even hear normal conversations or TV. Depending on your relationship with neighbour, they could either be genuinely concerned or just being a bit of a twat.

Guyliner · 12/04/2019 14:17

The OP has stated plainly it wasn't an violent argument I don't know why posters are brining DV into it. If it was truly loud enough to hear then someone shouting "Bob you've gone blind you need to cut your hours" shouldn't have really been a trigger for calling the police.

They probably are fucked off the OP dropped them in it with the ladlord.

ifonly4 · 12/04/2019 14:17

To be honest I would phone the police if I was worried about the emotional of physical wellbeing of one of the occupants, either adult or children and this would be in the event of it being a regular thing (and suspecting children were present) or particularly loud/ongoing.

I would avoid having contact with neighbours for the time being. If you're having regular arguments or occasionally you both hit the roof over anything, I think you need to try and keep it calm for the sake of children. If you, yourself, know there's more to it and don't feel safe, please get help/support.

Guyliner · 12/04/2019 14:18

If the police save/help/rescue one person out of 1000 'wasted' calls then that's good enough for me.

More women's lives would be saved if the police weren't attending revenge dog shit calls.

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