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Original poster

I would like to help you, don't be afraid

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 10/04/2019 18:24

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I'm unfettered by either knowledge or training. Please step inside my friendly advice clinic staffed with a team of kindly agony aunts.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
54
MrsCatE · 14/04/2019 11:34

Dangly mi casa, su casa. I bet you could make Ninja throwing stars from your nipple tassles.

waxahatchee · 14/04/2019 11:39

My mask hasn't arrived Dangly! Has yours?
Don't worry too much because some weirdo who lives in this house has a collection of skulls and whatnot that he has found in the countryside so I can put a sheep's skull on my head and if anyone wants there is also a rabbit and deer skull and some dried up frogs for adornments.
I would like some of the Grease wheels for my tractor, can I just put nail scissors and other sharp implements around the wheel?

DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 11:40

Excellent idea! Cat ! I've always wanted Ninha Death Stars!!

Ok will sort!

Wait!!! Is that Esben stirring???

waxahatchee · 14/04/2019 11:41

We could also put feathers from the birds on our heads. If that is not too dressy uppy?

EsbenSmedJensen · 14/04/2019 11:42

Fuck off du absolut underlig gammel slagger!!!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/04/2019 11:46

Anniversary Party at 6.30 tonight, bring your offering. Thoem, thong or a art.

OP posts:
DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 11:46

Oh bore off Esban, you whiny little bitch. What did I tell you - thigh doesn't like you!!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/04/2019 11:48

Esben i may be an old slag but you look awfully handcuffed for one so Danish. Fuck dig? Oh indeed i will and i have a willy splint prepared.

OP posts:
DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 11:48

We won't be having any more trouble from him! he's spoiling my party mood!

I'll leave him a boiled dead rat in case thigh changes her mind and wants him again. She's a fickle thing!

DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 11:50

Oh hello thigh ! 6.30 sounds fab! I'll brew up some special curried piss for the kick off!

Heaviestdirtyestsoul · 14/04/2019 12:00

Yeah I posted before reading the thread- thanks, cheered me right up tho! 😁

DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 12:04

Hello soul !

Come to our party tonight? T'is our Thanniversary!

Two glorious months of Thighland!

CarolinePooter · 14/04/2019 13:04

I am just going out to write a thoem. I may be some time.

DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 13:05

Caroline we need it in for 6.30 ish for the party/riot!

CarolinePooter · 14/04/2019 13:12

OK dangly I'll get right on it!

DogHairEverywhere · 14/04/2019 13:58

As i live in the Cuntry, sticks are easy to find, as are rusty nails, so I've made a morning star weapon, in readyness for tonight's celebration. I was going to steal a firearm, as they are also popular in the cuntry, but the owners keep them locked up for some reason. Still, homemade shows i care. I've also painted on some fierce markings on top of my facial tattoos, i look very fetching.

DogHairEverywhere · 14/04/2019 14:08

I shall also be wearing my giraffe skin hat, as its a special occasion.

I would like to help you, don't be afraid
DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 14:18

That looks lovely on you Dog !! I think if you're wearing that wax and I should be allowed our Hotdog Masks!

I've just found a machine gun on the floor so we can take it in turns with that!

Nowaypast · 14/04/2019 14:22

Ooh Dog I love your make up. Regarding the party, I fear it'll all be a bit too energetic for me. However, I am prepared to assume the role of army commander as long as it can be done from the sofa, drinking gin. Plus, if the foxes can be persuaded to give them up, you can have my four dc as foot soldiers.

I'm coming up a bit short on the weapons front unless a scaffolding tower (disassembled) would be of any use? Or some flash bleach cleaning spray could be handy.

CarolinePooter · 14/04/2019 14:29

Might need that later, noway

CarolinePooter · 14/04/2019 14:37

Is it formal slanket, or just a nice afternoon one ? It's bit chilly today so I've added an extra vest.

CarolinePooter · 14/04/2019 14:37

And socks.

waxahatchee · 14/04/2019 14:53

Tuck your vest in your pants Caroline

Nowaypast · 14/04/2019 14:56

Have you got a camouflage slanket? That'll probably be the best option today.

LadAlive · 14/04/2019 15:38

Ah. Noway I too share your inertia, if you are Acting General Custard, may I be Captain Crumble?
Only if it slips past through our great and wondrous Thigh. (latex free rubber stamping required).
I am going berserk and rampaging but in a very still and quiet way (if I move too quickly I will dislodge an off-target chocolate raisin I have been chasing since quarter to two) I think your idea of camouflage slankets is leadership of the highest quality.
My dog of war is snoozing alongside me too, even she has given up the hunt for the escaped chocolate raisin, but I know if it makes an appearance she will still think it's hers.
Such is her commitment to Thighland, she would risk death by chocolate and grape combined.
She's a true Warrior.