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Original poster

I would like to help you, don't be afraid

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 10/04/2019 18:24

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I'm unfettered by either knowledge or training. Please step inside my friendly advice clinic staffed with a team of kindly agony aunts.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
54
DanglyTassles · 13/04/2019 23:07

There once was a dirty old whore

Who left thigh's Danish lover on the floor

She forgot to revive
So he didn't survive

It's ok because he was a bore!

DanglyTassles · 13/04/2019 23:08

Thislido hurry up! We're doing thoems again!!

TheLoneWolfDies · 13/04/2019 23:19

dangly oh be glad, i think i got a bit too carried away tonight as i have just puked up the whole chinese and am now sitting on the downstairs toilet floor trying to figure out how to get upstairs.

Mummyto2munchkins · 13/04/2019 23:21

Do I or do I not attempt to find the hidden vodka in the house to make cocktails with?

DanglyTassles · 13/04/2019 23:29

Mummy I think maybe not in this case! We are all suffering a strange plague of alcohol intolerance around here right now!

Don't want you getting sick! Usually yes though!

Mummyto2munchkins · 13/04/2019 23:34

Okay ill put myself to bed with a film... The vodka can make itself appear when it's ready to be drunk! (obviously hiding for a reason!)

Mummyto2munchkins · 13/04/2019 23:35

Now next dilemma... What film!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/04/2019 09:30

There is only one film Born Free starring Elsa the lion 🦁

OP posts:
MrsCatE · 14/04/2019 10:08

Happy Anniversary All!!! Yay!!! Xxx

I did a art of BastardCat

I would like to help you, don't be afraid
DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 10:13

Th'Morning!!

Happy Anniversary thigh and MrsCat !!

Bastard Cat is a stunner, MrsC

Happy Anniversary to all Thighlanders old and new and not yet met!! xxx [heart emoticon]

What time do I have to freshly piss my slanket for the party/riots?

Have we all sharpened our weapons?

MrsCatE · 14/04/2019 10:14

Also did a art collage of his favourite accessories:

  • sunglasses (he's photosensitive since the vet incident / reanimation also reason why he now has huge fangs and unquenchable thirst for blood)
  • favourite axe
  • favourite gun
  • picture of opposable thumb on paw allowing him to use above.
I would like to help you, don't be afraid
DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 10:34

Definitely bring him to the Anniversary Riots MrsCat he is adequately tooled up for the procession.

LovelyCocksReg · 14/04/2019 10:45

Here you go DanglyTriangle. Watch out for the shark!

I would like to help you, don't be afraid
DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 10:57

Wow that's amazing Reg ! We love it!! Triangle is moving in as we speak!

Triangle doesn't mind the shark, he reckons he can take him down in a fight! I gave him a little machete to help!

Reg we cannot thank you enough for Triangle's new home! T'is a blessed space!

thislido · 14/04/2019 10:59

Lovely thoems! I hope to be back with one later. In the mean time I’d like to present an anniversary gift - a small herd of these things: www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/apr/14/cassowary-attack-giant-bird-kills-owner-in-florida-after-he-fell

We’ll keep them in Centre Parcs. Happy anniversary thisters!

waxahatchee · 14/04/2019 11:03

Oh yes let's have some of those birds, we could teach them to kill on instruction !
Is there a party today? I've got my tractor, chainsaw and some bottles of piss (for throwing) ready.

DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 11:18

Yes it's today wax !

I have to go out in a bit but was thinking to attach some spikes to my car wheels like in the car race between Danny and Leo in Grease! I could cause some shit with that whilst I do my Sunday chores!

DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 11:19

thislido we'll need a special Anniversay Thoem today.

Do you think that bird is on MN? It might be one of us!!

MrsCatE · 14/04/2019 11:21

RIOT GIRLSZZZ WOMEN!!!
HURGHHH HURG - HAKA DOBLE PEOPLE!!!

Remember our anthem as we charge into battle in best beserker style! "Born free, as free as the wind blows"

How's everyone tooled up? I have BastardCat and a cuisinart blow torch. Rummaging around in cupboard under the stairs and thinking immersion blender may be good for close combat disembowelling purposes? The fondue may be good at a pinch for keeping boiling jam at a consistent temperature but the pasta maker is of fuck all use to man or beast.

DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 11:28

HUUUUUUUUUURGH HAGH HAGHA HUUUUUGH

I've got the spike-adapted car but plan to do most of my battling from the sofa later.

I'm in possession of a gardening fork with some mean prongs and a very sharp kitchen knife set. I've got a good-sized bucket and of course my trusty machete!

There might be a blow torch for face melting in the shed, I'll go and check.

DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 11:29

Oh you've got one Cat, I'll just borrow yours every now and again if you don't mind?

MrsCatE · 14/04/2019 11:30

Dangly and Wax. Could either of you fashion some lethal poison tipped spurs for those birds? We would look magnificent riding them into the melee wearing our battle slankets (we're robed in the slankets - not the big bastard birds).

DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 11:31

This tape measure is a potential garrote! Then there are the garden ties!

MrsCatE · 14/04/2019 11:31

Bugger, I'm getting a bit 'active'. Off for a lie down, snax and gin.

DanglyTassles · 14/04/2019 11:34

Oh I used the ties to contain Esben Smed Jensen should he wake up in the basement.

Oh yes!! I have poison! "Always have a spare bottle of poison in your cupboard" is my motto! I'll use the blades from the car wheel later and tie them to sticks for us!