I would like to help you, don't be afraid

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I'm unfettered by either knowledge or training. Please step inside my friendly advice clinic staffed with a team of kindly agony aunts.

Hello everyone! Hope you're all well! I am currently awaiting a big fat chinese and drinking my saturday night gin. Hope your all happily drunk and full of snax!

Laura Ingalls? You mean that time Pa said "darn" and Ma set her mouth in a hard line and then Laura needed years of therapy?

DT I've lived through tougher times, Thatcher snatched my milk after all and i survived.

Yes she did didn't she! It's s wonder we all have bones and teeth!

But look on the bright side, Jim Fixed It For Us!!

Well exactly Baker and Mary went blind with the shock whilst Nellie Olsen snickered evilly.

I've just taken my teeth out Dangly?

It's a good look for you thigh , I'll get mine done too!

I think that's Gwynny, another trend on Goop.

Thigh, the countryside? You mean where chickens live?

Thigh, i live in the cuntryside. It is not for the faint hearted. Sometimes, there is no wifi signal. How will you solve all our problems then?

Also, you must keep your lion under close control, it must not chase the sheep.
I'm not sure you have thought through your holiday plans thoroughly.

Although, murdering is much easier and there are no police, so it's not all bad.

I'm a bit concerned about that too Dog we might need to hold the fort for a while!

Maybe we should write up a schedule of duties for everyone so that we all take a turn to cover?

We must be extra vigilant that the 'z' word doesn't creep into our vocabulary. It seems to be at the root of all cleaning.
Perhaps Thigh will set up some dastardly deeds for us to be practicing to keep us on the true path the the inner Thigh. Or we could just curl up in our slankets until She returns.

baker what a beautiful poem.

I live in the countryside.

Pros: firearms, lack of people.
Cons: the few people that are there, know you and expect you to say hello.

But what if we shrivel up and die without her Dog ?

Ok let's put forward a new rule alongside the original four rule: No talk of the Z until thigh roars back on Elsa! (then still no Z)

In fact no Z forever!!

I missed Baker's thoem before! What stunning talent!

Thighland is a hotbed of latent creativity streaming forth from the souls of our thisters!

Greatness lives within our tholds!

Baker's thoem being cut short is another sign of them, trying to keep us from reaching our full potential, with their demands for such trivial matters, such as food. If only we could be left alone in our pissy slankets, think of the greatness we would achieve!

Sorry, meant to say Baker's thuperb thoem.

I know Dog it's a real shame! Maybe Baker's children would be be better going to live with thislido's fox mothers so she can focus on writing these thuperb thoems for us!

I also spied TheLoneWolf not long ago!

Hello Lone ! I am sober due to having had a migraine/hangover on Friday after a school night bender! It's put me off so I never drank again! (So far!)

^There was an old slag lived in Thighland
Who dished out advice over broadband
Her gin-soaked disciples
All vipers archetypal^

Smiled as each murdered their husband.

naked !!! We've been lost without you!!

thigh nearly married a Danish man but I killed him! (he was very moany!)

Oh actually he might still be in a coma in the basement I forgot to check his pulse!

There once was a bitter old slag
Who found real life such a drag

So she painted her lips
And ate extra crisps

Then swept out in her wee soaked rag.