I would like to help you, don't be afraid

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I'm unfettered by either knowledge or training. Please step inside my friendly advice clinic staffed with a team of kindly agony aunts.

Aw, thank YOU bees.

Project i noticed you used the word discusting, i believe you did this on purpose. Could you explain.

Project if you stopped going to your stupid job you could hang out with us slagz all day every day.

This woman has suggested a new genre of greeting card

I have a new method of tea making. It bores me to wait for the tea to turn the correct colour so i walk away with white tea and the tea bag still in the mug. At some stage the tea makes itself.

No Project you would kill him in five seconds flat, regardless of his spectacular low slung enormous gonads.
He's a useless fuckboy, has a permanent gormless look and says 'why?' Or 'What have I done now?' in a loop.
Or worse, he tells you what he's thinking.
Honestly I asked him once in 1999 what he was thinking, he's never fucking stopped.
Hawkwind, motorbikes, C# or blah blah script.
You couldn't bear it.
The joy of slaughter would be irresistible, I can only resist because I take all his money and Tesco, good as they are, only deliver wet wipes, they won't wipe my sticky bits.
Bastards.
#everylittlehelps

lad he thinks?

thigh I was briefly trying on an outraged daily mail personality. Then I got bored and started talking about bees. If I did stop work my ADHD would probably become quite boring for you after a while.

Also, I don’t understand the colours on threads on other people’s phones but doesn’t that green mean that cooksomeeggs is you thigh

Green means that is the OP of that thread. As you see I am green here, but when I post elsewhere i see myself as pink but you will see me as white. I hope that helps.

I felt the Dark Lord was behind discusted, it's his kind of word.

Noooo. Not on my phone. You are not green, you are white. The only person who has a colour is me. I am purple.

I feel like there is a lesson about how everyone sees the world in this. Or I sound like a massive racist, one of the two.

Or you have purplophilia.

Wow this world of colour I never dreamed of. I am purple. Everyone else is white. Who knew.

This is the wrong space for us. Is there a slutsnet?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3556341-aibu-to-ask-what-daily-chores-errands-secretly-give-you-a-thrill?pg=1&order=

You purple people are probably using the app rather than a browser?

Nope, browser. MN is controlling the way we see things

Just back from the ale house. Anyone here?

I am maroon by the way. Thigh is turquoise and the rest of you are purple, just so you all know.

Oh dear. Thigh, can you remember the life expectancy for purplophilia?

wax that colour combo sounds alarming.

I Like maroon, it reminds me of my school jumper. I am on the app. You can even change the theme colour but there is such a tiny selection of colours it's hardly worth bothering with.

thigh is light green, I am a sort of mauve, everyone else is white with names in blue. Using a tablet.

Gosh those poor women locked up sniffing fabric softener all day. There ought to be an outreach programme or something.

Oh I just had a look, very peculiar, look at this lady sniffing them all in the supermarket!

Whereas I avoid the vile smelling detergent aisle because it affects my breathing. She must be mad.

I bought zoflora once to see what the fuss was about. It’s horrible and synthetic. It doesn’t smell of hyacinths, it smells of the chemist who made its shattered dreams. The stench that you’re trying to mask is probably nicer.

Blimey, but to each their own I guess. I’ve got a spray mop. The cleaner seems to like using it.

I find actual hyacinths overpowering!