I would like to help you, don't be afraid

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I'm unfettered by either knowledge or training. Please step inside my friendly advice clinic staffed with a team of kindly agony aunts.

Coleslaw hardly effective as toilet roll Pooter?

Or are you saying coleslaw sets off the urge for a dirty protest?

Also I remember catching an ice cream van man mid bogy extraction, I left sharpish without my cornet order! Always bought wrapped after that.

What if you watched it being made and the server still jizzed in it thigh ?

Still on mayo, not chicken! Yes coleslaw a bit poor for arse wiping, but funnily enough probably OK to use a cabbage leaf in the wild?

DT if he gave me a saucy wink I'd give him a hand shandy.

Well, the Russian poisoner has his grimacing ejaculating face peeping over the top of his lap top as we speak.
He could well be tugging away.
He's been asking what I'm laughing at for weeks now and I just shrug and say 'You, but it's ironic laughter'.
But when I went for an unexpected emergency walk to the toilet, last Sunday, he was over my side of the table when I shuffled back 'closing the blinds because the sun was blinding him'.
I didn't believe him.
He was spying.
He's definitely an habitual wanker too.

Why do we always descend ?

Pooter dock leaf to sooth bum if bitten my nettles whilst peeing in the woods.

I had a sandwich spread sandwich yesterday, no meat.
To be honest...if 'come' was on the list of ingredients, I'd still have eaten it.

Caroline it could be worse, we could start posting our bumholes again!

But Lad if you became spawned from the sandwich spread would you have declared that on the birth certificate?

Father: Sandwich

Anyway, this is disgusting, who made us do this filth?

I've got a serial killer documentary to study.

Ah, no.
He's just said, true quote 'these jeans chafe my balls'.
He's not wanking, he's suffering.
Our after dinner chat has changed over the years.

Father: finely chopped gherkin

Could he dangle his balls n a winsome fashion through a hold cut in his jeans?

Yes Thigh! More killing, we're far to 'dressy' 'visitity' and very remiss in not retrieving a very valuable unneeded transpenguins cock for our bucket.
We need to be more proactive in our inactivity.

He now has his favourite trousers on, so he's cupping his balls in the fashion of an Emperor Penguin and his chick.
On top of his feet.

I’d be prepared to let a man with a ball-hole cut into his jeans into thighland.

My family have just come in from outside

They smell of fresh air

It’s discusting.

God, I’m so good at not working. Today’s activities have included a 4 hour lie in, several hours of daytime tv and then some light gardening (fucking about unproductively in the garden anyway). We came across an injured bee and nursed it back to life with a teaspoon of honey.

If I’d been at work today, do you know how many bees I would have resuscitated? None

And without bees mankind will die because of pollination and shizz.

I’ve basically saved humanity by not working.

project you beautiful person.

I would be worried the bee might say "so that's where it went, you bastard!"

He seemed quite pleased with it summer. When he wobbled up into the air, I felt as proud as I did when my kids started walking.

I think you have happened on the meaning of life project. Thank you from the bees.