I would like to help you, don't be afraid

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I'm unfettered by either knowledge or training. Please step inside my friendly advice clinic staffed with a team of kindly agony aunts.

Lovely chap, big cock, Scottish personality. Fairly certain he stole one of my shoes though.

dangly you spoke one of my names! Are we back to interesting ways of disposing of enimies? Licking lips 🤪.

thigh they are Waynes of the animal kingdom

Those donkeys know about competitive misery. We visited Blackpool once when the tide was in. Conversation between two children went:
"But where are all the donkeys?"
"They're all dead Harry."
It was the highlight of my visit.

Pooter I have just paused catching up to come and tell you that I LOVE Diana Wynne Jones (page 4 of thread). I mean properly love her.

I do love to interrupt conversations and say unconnected things. It’s why I am so popular IRL.

Happy memories!

Pooter i did not know that about Waynes. I'm just flicked through my rolodex and i can now almost completely confirm i have no experience of Waynes.

project you have explained and referenced it so diligently. I also love to pop into conversations IRL but I expect people to just know what I am talking about. Much more annoying and satisfying that way.

Ooh, project yes indeedy! ( Shhhh I'm in detention for the knob derail) Keep meaning to have a reread ;-)

Quite, summer if they can't stand the heat they should get out of the kitchen.

Ooh never heard of DWJ but Changeover sounds good.

Also, poor Fuckboy struggles to keep up with asides and tangents, but he can operate the hob, thank God.

thigh they are fab, all of them!

Look at this poor woman, struggling alone in AIBU

Shall we summon her to her natural habitat?

summer I do believe we should adopt ‘they’re all dead Harry’ as our motto.

thigh I have a Wayne. He was the One That Got Away. A smooth skinned Adonis at 17 , social media tells me that he is now bald and likes to post inspirational quotes written in calligraphy against a sunset. It’s almost enough to make me pack up my night vision goggles and bird watching tent from outside his house.

That response nestles like a gem amongst coal. Please bring that woman here.

Just back to the spider thing. I find turkeys scarey, I can't think of anything else at all that scares me like a turkey does. It's like they have ball bag all over their face and neck and it's flopping around everywhere!

Oi, @MotherofDinosaurs you belong with us you cunt!

A lovely warm welcome, perfect

Ooh wax turkeys are truly demonic, but don't have the black soulless cereal killer eyes of a chicken 🍗

Project a lot changes in a year doesn't it, is he 18 yet? Best stick with front doorsiez till then.

Do you mean to say that you don't like that they eat grains?

It would be a very slow death with a turkey or a chicken though. Plus they seem a bit dim.

Spiders are so speedy and their 8 eyes are filled with alien thoughts. They’d kill us all if they could

Turkey, just what a ridiculous excuse for a creature.
Hang on, does the word creature come from the word create? Is that to do with all gods creations? Created things??