I would like to help you, don't be afraid

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I'm unfettered by either knowledge or training. Please step inside my friendly advice clinic staffed with a team of kindly agony aunts.

As for 'effort' to be made towards DPs tea. Just no.

MrsM I hope your chesticles are healing well.

The DH of Baker exquisite
invited some folk for a visit
Boy was he sorry
when on the morry
His internals were all explicit

A baby lion?! ABABYLION!!! Bring it to me!

I've always wanted a baby lion. I'd be happy and stop inventing crazy shit 💩 if i had a baby lion.

But seriously, I need help.

This thing is hanging on the wall near my front door. Scale indicated in both metric and Imperial for your convenience.

AgnosticCat "can't see" it and I'm out of Final Net.

Too late for conkers. If I had a DH I would have sold him for his organs already. Car won't fit through the front door so running it over not an option.

Here you go thigh
But please don't stop making crazy shit up.

The lion bite was real?

Crisis could you try this:

If only you loved me as much as your sister does, she brings lovely snacks.

It inspires competitive snack bringing yet no desire to visit.

Wave martyrishly in the direction of jobs that need doing and say - your sister would have done that by now.

Summer hoblexia - brilliant! I wonder if I can find a tutor to help organise my brain!

The lion bite was disappointingly real. And now a debate on the ethics of lion petting.

Whoops forgot the photo!

Summer that's a photograph

Fine, I'm stuck here veiling my sociopathy.

photo

I am often to be found at the hob muttering you bastards pooter

It's been my hob for 9 years and has handy pictorial reference but makes no difference.

But that's just a spider, Baker. Make friends with it.

Fun fact: Not scared of spiders, very scared of chickens.

That's just for reference thigh

Real one has been dispatched from Thetford with a sat nav reading monkey on it's back.

Thigh, whatever you do, don't watch this video of chicken exorcism!

But should be required viewing for everyone else.

summer even once the bloody pans are correctly switched on I need a few goes to select the right size lids. I need a cook, really ;-)

Are we talking about cookers? Are they being used as weapons?

That's the only acceptable excuse for discussing cookers

How can anyone debate the ethics of lion petting? It has to be done, I'm going in to tell them to ride it round their estate.

Good point. Hobz are knobz.

OMT - been in, now I'm back.

Having a bath to get the depressive aura of the rest of MN off me.

Here's a thonundrum for you.

Why do people come on MN to be competitively miserable when they could just lie around eating and pissing?

Also, note how nobody ever writes in to say they've been bitten by a donkey on Cleethorpes beach. It's always a lion, and nobody ever uses TCP and just pulls themself together.

Exactly Poot who hasn't had an encounter with a donkey? He *said his name was Murdo but i wasn't convinced.