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Original poster

Do you have problems? I can solve everything.

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 07/04/2019 17:31

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I can help with anything, please step inside my lovely advice clinic where my team of kindly Agony Aunts will cure you forever.

OP posts:
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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 09/04/2019 19:48

Ah crisis I'm afraid you're medically crazed. You've become Dog and Dog had no idea. I think my medical nursing skillz really are coming along.

OP posts:
DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 19:48

Too bloody right, it hurts!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 09/04/2019 19:51

Dog andCrisis unusual, you are Siamese twins! People normally notice this before adulthood. I suggest you watch the medical documentary "Stuck on You" to learn more of your condition. I would also suggest one of you becomes the King of Siam.

OP posts:
myidentitymycrisis · 09/04/2019 19:51

Dog what has Dog got to do with me?

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 19:53

I quite fancy being the King, or could i be emperor?

myidentitymycrisis · 09/04/2019 19:53

Am happy to be alive at least

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 19:55

I see a light, a light at the end of a long dark tunnel...do i go towards the light, Thigh?

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 19:58

I think i might be passing over to "the other side". I've just seen a sign that says "M3 woz 'ere". What does it all mean?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 09/04/2019 20:02

DOG NO, step AWAY from the light! You must dance and father 40 children whilst looking bald and brooding and getting Deborah Kerr/Jodie Foster to fancy you.

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 09/04/2019 20:03

It's VITAL to the future of humanity that you become Yul Brynner.

OP posts:
DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 20:06

Crikey!

waxahatchee · 09/04/2019 20:11

I have a chainsaw , would that work?

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 20:17

Let's give it a go.

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 20:17

Mind my ears, though

DanglyTassles · 09/04/2019 20:18

Dog do you need a machete dear?

waxahatchee · 09/04/2019 20:19

Looks great, you weren't bothered about the frontal lobe were you??

waxahatchee · 09/04/2019 20:20

Could that go in the organ stash I heard about?

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 20:25

As long as my ears are ok, not bothered about the rest, really.
Now, how do i father these 40 children?

myidentitymycrisis · 09/04/2019 20:25

wax can you give my pubes a going over while you've got it handy? My Lumea's packed up

DanglyTassles · 09/04/2019 20:26

Oh Getting could do with a new frontal lobe!

I had to go to Australia to lobotomise her in my lobotomobile, she wasn't well for a few days after that because I forgot my glasses, but I think she's healed up now.

DanglyTassles · 09/04/2019 20:27

Dog try shagging either 40 women once or one woman 40 times.

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 20:27

Can i borrow the spare cat cock?

DanglyTassles · 09/04/2019 20:27

Oh but you need a willy. I've got a stick-on one?

DanglyTassles · 09/04/2019 20:29

X-post! Try the cat cock first, if no luck borrow my willy!

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 20:29

DT, that'll work, got any pritt stick to attach it?