I quit. I've had enough

[Mississippilessly]

Nearly 7 month old baby - sleep is getting progressively worse, not better. Pretty velcro during the day. I don't really get anything done. Has stopped feeding from my right. Cant pump to try and boost the supply because I just dont have the time. I look ridiculous. Spend most of my life bouncing on a fucking yoga ball in the dark.
Bored of people suggesting I have PND. I haven't had a full nights sleep in 7 months. I spend most of my time with a baby attached to me.
I'm not eating gluten or egg as he has suspected intolerances but I have got differing opinions from different paediatricians.

I'm done. I've had enough. No fucking way will we ever give him a sibling. What the fuck is the point of my life right now?

Sorry. As you were.

Are you getting the WIND up?
I had this.
for 6 month I fb but was so exhausted waking every 2 hours I'd just pat pat fine.
I think she was waking up with wind not hunger.

At a year she started to Walk.
Over night she was so tired she'd slept 12 HOURS every night after that.

With my second I only bf for 6 weeks
Also my new husband would wind him for hours.
Totally different ball game.
Good luck 😉

Mississippilessly I've posted on the other night waking thread that you're on but just wanted to say that you are not alone (I could have written this post, although my DD isn't a limpet during the day now). You are also NOT failing at this. I know the feeling as I'm going through these hellish wakings too. I really hope the bottles work for you, even if it means your DH can do one night for you.

3 hours is something. When you get your first stretch of 6 hours you'll feel like flying unicorn!

I just remembered, whilst hubby did the night shift he would bring him to me for about 30 mins to feed, then take him away to change/wind/bounce downstairs on the yoga ball and I'd continue sleeping.

Mine had reflux meds too and the shits. One time during the day I was in the middle of changing his runny nappy when he projectile pooed everywhere on the changing table. So i took him to the bath to clean up. In my panic to then clean up the poo on the changing table I decided to lay him down in his cot without a nappy whilst I went to get a nappy underneath the table. He had other ideas. He projectile pooed through the bars of the cot, against some teddies, against the wall and a chair and on the carpet and of course on me. It was fucking everywhere. So washed him again. Put a nappy on whilst he was wrapped up in his towel. Then sat there crying with him looking at poo mayhem. What a shit storm that was.

Never going to forget that day.
Wean him with baby porridge and start giving formula in a sippy cup if he won't take the bottle during the night.
At least it's the weekend - time for hubby to help! Xx

OP I've had two kids with allergies and intolerances and in telling you right now - your baby is not sleeping because he is in discomfort.

He has ticked every box for intolerance and going into FF is likely to make things worse.

Stop and gather your thoughts before you go down that route.

You need to look at his diet and consider the reflux meds again. From experience I know that they give the smallest dose of meds and it doesn't work. We are now on the highest dose and it works great.

I knew when I read the OP that your baby is likely to have intolerances.

Now with your most recent post that's exactly what it is.

You may not think he's in pain at night but is the screaming and inability to sleep not a huge pointer in exactly that direction?

Start with the diet. Eliminate the original things, keep a diary of his poos and sleep and get some reflux meds at a medium to high dose. 3mg/kg of ranitidine for example.

I've been there. You haven't done anything wrong.

There was a night that dd wouldn't sleep (again) and she would wake every 30-45 minutes and I was exhausted and I banged my head against a door frame over and over and I had a massive bruise there but it felt better being able to get the anger/frustration out. I did have pnd though. And I'm not suggesting you do that! It bloody hurt.

I can't really suggest anything because nothing helped my dd except getting older and I am still shocked I am alive today to see it !!

Just solidarity here x

OH and dd was formula fed so I can't even blame bf

Just wanted to send some moral support, and to say that just because he won't settle with anyone other than you doesn't mean you shouldn't leave him with a bottle of formula and someone else for half a day. Even if he screams the entire time ( which he won't) it won't do any long term damage and you will feel so much better with some proper rest.

Book in to a hotel for the night - without baby.

Why do people always suggest that.
"Book a hotel."

As if that's the answer. As if a mum would be able to relax, having ditched her fully breastfed baby with the husband, knowing the baby would be hysterical without her all night and just be absolutely fine with that while she put her feet up 'in a hotel.'
Such a ridiculous, unrealistic thing to post.

I mean, has anyone in the history of mumsnet ever actually done that?

We say he has intolerances. Paediatrician said he doesn't. I'm off gluten and egg which made the nappies much better.

Maybe I go back to dairy free. He has dairy at the moment. Mayhe that's the problem.

I cant give up everything. we go away next Sunday. What the fuck am I going to be able to eat?

P.s. this thread is saving my life. THANK YOU to everyone who has given me advice or just a hand hold (sometimes I feel overwhelmed with advice).
Please keep posting.

The poo story made me laugh because i can see how easily it would happen. That's got to be the lowest it gets right?!?!

I PM'd you my recent thread but just to add - when my baby was waking every half an hour he wasn't even crying. Just waking.

When that thread had me realise it was reflux, the meds were increased and now he sleeps much better, it just goes to show that they may not always appear to be in discomfort and pain when they wake but they really are.

A happy, fed, painfree baby does tend to sleep well (ok I know there's sleep regressions and stuff) and they don't naturally wake every 30 minutes unless something is waking them in form of pain or discomfort.

I'm also free from all those things as well and it makes going out limited BUT there are so many vegan options now which help immeasurably.
I was dairy and egg free with my second son who is now 7 and the choices now compared to then are huge.
You just need to do your research on where you're going and discuss it with the chef.

Yeah, I don’t care how tired or fed up you are it doesn’t excuse animal cruelty. How the fuck is your cat meant to know about your sons sleeping problems?

I'm not even going to rise to it.

Oh bore off @helmlover1, this woman is going through utter hell. It's been trotted out already but sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture to get people to confess to crimes they didnt commit, implicate loved ones etc. Of course someone who has been through it for 7 MONTHS would kick a bloody cat. I've been there, i can guarantee it was either the cat or the screaming bastarding baby. Anyway, she said the cat was fine and it wont have been a proper boot. Either you've been fortunate enough to never have been severely sleep deprived or you've forgotten what it's like. Flowers, cake and coffee for you @mississippilessly

Thank you

I introduced a bottle for the last feed of the evening. That filled her up and I only needed to top her up during the night rather than try to fill a really hungry baby. It seemed to settle her more.

See I just dont know what to do!!!
It's so frustrating - it's hard not to feel hopeless.
Weve family staying for the next 3 days. Dh took the baby fir a couple of hours, I've run round and got the house ready, sorted out all the washing (round about eleventy billion vests - no idea why we have so many?!?!)
DH is off out this afternoon and then family will arrive. Hoping someone can just hold him for a bit so I can have a coffee.
Though whether i should have milk in it or not, who the fuck knows.

OK I would respectfully but very forcefully disagree that a sleep deprived mother at the end of her rope should go on an elimination diet.

FUCK THAT.

OP, my son had ambiguous intolerances. Terrible nights, terrible nappies. I went dairy free for a month and it was hell. Do you know how many things have dairy in them? Every fucking thing bar fruit and veg and meat. I was weepy enough to begin with and at the end of the month, after only eating from the Tesco Free From aisle, I went back to my GP, even weepier.

Thank god he very sensibly said "Look, it may not be dairy, it could be anything! Without testing we'll never know, and that referral could take a while. You are not going to eliminate more foods, you need to mind yourself as much as the baby. Go on special formula"

I tearfully agrees, at the end of my rope. He put DS on Aptimel Pepti, warning me that it wasn't the most stripped down formula you could get and he still may not get better on it. He wasn't much better after a month so I went back and we got a prescription for Neocate.

Neocate is the most stripped down formula there is. It tastes absolutely RANK. (Actually most special formulas are fairly disgusting). We went out and bought Vanilla Extract and hey presto! Vanilla Milkshake!

He gobbled it like a gannet. And within two weeks he was a much more contented baby and was sleeping better. And DH was doing half the feeds and I could trot off into town for the morning and get some space without my boobs leaking.

You can get special formula in the chemist without prescription but it's expensive. And it takes a couple of weeks/a month to work.

Also- can I get 'screaming bastarding baby' done as bunting for his room? No 'sweet dreams little one' for us!

Vanilla extract
That's fucking genius.

This thread has been a revelation. So many have had the same. Just that simple fact is enough to keep me a bit more sane than I was.

Thank you thank you thank you.

Oh right, so every time we’re angry or frustrated it’s perfectly acceptable to kick our pets about? I’ve never heard of that logic before but yes op go and enjoy your coffee and cake hun and ignore the fact that you’re essentially an animal abuser.