Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

That reminds me, can any of the scientists make holograms? I have new idea for childcatching.

Isn't that chickens This?

That’s the beauty lido. It can be as short as stubbly just-harvested wheat or encompass all of the fields in Devon.

What is bum hair for?

There you go getting all needs catered for. I’m a very lax lawmaker.

I have to be, what with this bucket of organs I’ve just harvested.

No, poultry start in eggs in an incubator and then when they hatch they go along a conveyor belt and get sexed and then down different chutes according to their genitals.

Warmth

Call yourself our Prime Minister and you don't even know the first thing about us commoners. Bum hair is for bumkins and wigs. Are you REALLY that out of touch?

Oh, lovely organs. Is that the end of management for you?

Oooh, organs. Forget my last comment.

this I was once sexed when I went down a chute. Does that make me a chicken?

Is a bumkin a bum merkin?

But seriously, pubes are for keeping mosquitoes off your flaps, yes? Are mosquitoes really that interested in your bottom??

I exoect it’s more horseflies that go for you bumhole, attracted by the poo remnants.

You might be a turkey, getting

Im so angry! Im due my period and need chocolate but theres NO fucking chocolate in my house! Not even a biscuit! Nothing! Im sitting here drinking a diet coke, sulking.

I think I may die from lack of sugar.
Goodbye cruel world!

MrShit is like a mosquito, loves our flaps and bumholes

lone this is a crisis indeed. Is there anyone you can despatch? Failing that, turn around. I quite often find I have melted chocolate stuck to my bottom, which is handy in such events.

Lone order an Argos fuckboy for next day delivery and send him straight out for chocolate.

For tonight, can you channel your anger into a murdering spree... Is there anyone you know that needs to be dispatched?

Thislido exactly! Chutes and boxes for babies innit. You go to a hospital, fire station or police station and chuck it down a chute and it lands in a box and a bell goes off. They had to tighten up the law and specify newborns after people were dropping off their teenagers at the fire station. Too late for you Project the Dark Lord in Training would simply drive home in a fire engine.

Lone if you have DC, have they been given any early Easter eggs from well meaning relatives?

Yeah, I guess it works until they know their address Thigh.

After that it’s off to centre parcs for you, young lad / lass.

Bumkin bum hair wig merkin fanny hair wig. Pooter needs a full set, Winston only left her with armpit hair after all those cigar trysts.

GREAT NEWS!! I have sent DP out in the rain to get chocolate and rancheros in exchange for a blow job. Am I a prostitute now? I did what needed to be done.

All great ideas from all of you though! No easter eggs, if there were they would be eaten already. I have no self control.

We can set aside a bucket for pubes for Pooter.

I do prefer ‘nose to tail’ harvesting.

Oh, a useful DP. Just careful he doesn't try to turn you into a "wife". Sign no wedding papers until you have an integral garage

Project i agree, we used every bit of our chosen target. Saving pubes and bum hair for thisters in need.

Getting there is no wifing happening here. An accidental baby, yes, but no papers will be signed! I enjoy the comfort of not having to pay to break up with someone.

My new favourite come back to anything now is ‘ no YOU’VE been servicing Texans for 18 years’