Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a kindly non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and I run a lovely advice clinic. Please bring me your problems and I will solve them, forever.

I wonder if MrShit could work his magic on PineappleGore?

Wow typing, I was thinking all the menz could be dispatched by machete with the possibly exception on MrShit and the retired fuckboys, as they are useful for delivering Snax.

WTF is wow typing.... Slow typing.
More disciple must be applied to my phone.

Fucking hell... discipline!

dangly, M3lon reassuring thank you. I can't loose you now I have found you / been found by 10% sheep dog.

doghair wow typing and applying disciple should be encouraged. Not enough of it IMO. Especially in AIBU.

I am on a train, looking at an advert by Jim Broadbent for cremation.

I feel it is a sign.

Or is it Pete Poselthwaite? I always get them mixed up. The one that isn’t dead.

Thank you for the welcome to thighland
Have lurked since the dawn of thigh.I suspect there are many more of us looking in at the new kingdom
Could this be the night we say hi?

We are averaging 10 pages per day of this shit. How on earth than this be classed as "any other long running thread" pah and pish that's what I say.

Getting why did MN send you a gun? It's obvious. They want you to kill me. It's a fair assumption, but it'll never happen. You're too much of a masochist, how would you cope without me.

All the knobgobbling in the world wouldn't produce the amount of disgust you require.

wolf of course it can get worse! AIBU just stirs up the shit-for-brains with a ruddy great stick. (Sobs in gratitude for being in thighland)

Jim Broadbent wants me to die

Welcome newcomers / lurkers BTW

Come on out lurkers! No need to hide! I believe dangly is the only one who bites!

Project PP dead, JB not dead. Why are they trying to cremate you? Ah - of course, because you're Theresa May. We tried to warn you about going for promotion. I know you need to pay for the Dark Lord in Training's barrister though. Are you using Cherie Blair/Booth?

thigh says that when i am a dog I am a fat labrador Summer , you will not lose us now you are a true thister. Even the wayward Pineapple can find us but then acts like she didn't want to.

Dog I feel the need to murder your phone for you! It at least needs a good spanking!

DT only bites cock and only if you cross her fanny with silver - or Thighland Yen.

Hi Thigh night ??

pooter their talking about putting love spells on men. Words fail me.

I need a wee but the thread is moving so fast that Thigh is in danger of losing Thighland!

Thank goodness it's OK to piss my slanket, chilly tonight too.

Hello streak we have helped you before - I wonder if you have any more problems for us to solve. We go off at a tangent otherwise.

Reg is busy doing a art of BumTips.

Look at me.

What is there about me that leads MN ads to believe I would spend £96 on perfume! Why?

FUCK OFF WITH THE GIN.

What's this about spells? I feel I could do spells but that is the megalomania talking, I can't really. I could try! Sod it!

Shall I go and look in AIBU?

DT stay vigilant and save me if in danger.

How do we get bumtips on the MN ads?

Or at least over Jim B’s face. He’s still looking at me. Wanting me to cremate myself.

thigh be careful i have you on the leash of life, tug once for 'not sure be on high alert' and twice for 'ffs get me out of here, cocksucker!"