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Original poster

Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 19:07

I am a kindly non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and I run a lovely advice clinic. Please bring me your problems and I will solve them, forever.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 02/04/2019 19:06

My ad has weird bendy toes on it and something saying "foot pain has doctors baffled".

WTAF - I don't have foot pain. OK, I'm fat I'm not a fucking hobbit. Fucking MN.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 02/04/2019 19:07

Mine's going mental about jobs and Gin. I want neither!! Go away Justine - you can't join us.

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BillywigSting · 02/04/2019 19:10

I wouldn't mind the gin. I'd prefer winka

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 02/04/2019 19:11

thislido you as a hypnotist! Now that really would solve every problem ever, ever. Also the child gate - is it topped with lethal shards of glass and dirty bombs? I want to be safe, really, really safe.

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thislido · 02/04/2019 19:12

Result

Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems
thislido · 02/04/2019 19:13

It will

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 02/04/2019 19:13

WHAT dip into our new AIBU podcast! I'll have to look at each word separately to understand that sentence. I'm here to escape from AIBU.

IAR
IAR
UAR
UAR

In Thighland we are:

100% reasonable
100% of the time

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 02/04/2019 19:15

Billy winka isn't nice really it's wine/gin/vodka/zoflora mixed together. It's potent and saves ever, ever bathing.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 02/04/2019 19:16

Thislido you got KrispyKremes! Awesome! I have the Yoga Slag.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 02/04/2019 19:20

Poached I'm sorry about the tea but you can see how we're fixed here with rebuilding humans and turning them into human catapaults. I suggest you leap over the counter at Costa and karate chop your way to the machines and make sure the tea is exactly right. Since you've done all the work I would suggest you don't pay for your tasty hot beverage.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 02/04/2019 19:22

Billy I sense a spark coming from you, it intrigues me. Is it just leftovers from your date with Old Sparky?

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RabbitseatDogs · 02/04/2019 19:24

Thigh but I only went to S&B in the first place because you didn't give me my dress and then it turns out that everyone apart from me has got my dress. How is that fair? Huh?

Anyway, I won't need to go there now because I'm making my dress and it will (not) be the Best Dress in the World. It will have pockets nearly as big as itself.

DanglyTassles · 02/04/2019 19:45

Billy Winka IS nice it is a pint of Wine/Vodka and Gin but NOT zoflora. We are not sterile in this joint thigh was having a little giggle there! It is very good for you to take intravenously!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 02/04/2019 19:54

Rabbits slankets are the only clothing you will ever need. Apart from our summer uniform of hospital gowns or muumuus.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 02/04/2019 19:56

DT it's chilly today - I'm so glad we haven't moved on to our summer uniforms yet.

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BillywigSting · 02/04/2019 20:17

DanglyTassles could be. Could also be slanket static

BillywigSting · 02/04/2019 20:20

I might need that body disposal quote sooner than I thought.

Dp has been to inspect the new house and is not at all impressed with what he's seen.

He is currently 'having words' with the builder...

...Poor builder.

DanglyTassles · 02/04/2019 20:21

thigh we had better not move into our hospital gowns until at least june unless we have an untimely heatwave like last year!

If it gets as hot as Africa we could go nude with just crocs on!

Billy it doesn't matter if it's a wine buzz or a slanket buzz as long as it makes you happy.

thislido · 02/04/2019 20:24

It hailed on me today. It was most unpleasant.

ProjectGainsborough · 02/04/2019 20:25

Fucking hell you lot have been prolific today. I’m just catching up, but wanted to pop in and say I cannot help with potty training. When we trained the dark lord he just used to wander outside and crap in the garden. Fun times.

M3lon · 02/04/2019 20:27

slanket static! Good thinking Billy. That really does explain a great deal....

M3lon · 02/04/2019 20:28

why the afterlife was so full of weird blue glow and sudden discharges....

Why my armpit hair is still standing on end, preventing me from lowering my arms past shoulder height....

what really restarted my heart....

So obvious once you see it.

DogHairEverywhere · 02/04/2019 20:32

Do you think we'll look back and remember where we were/what we were doing when Thighland was created? I feel it's a pivotal point in history.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 02/04/2019 20:35

It was Valentine's Day.

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DogHairEverywhere · 02/04/2019 20:36

I've also been catching up and I'm liking the idea of 'bum tips' - colouring in pens that you can match to your bum hole shade, it will add a whole new slant on having your colours done.