Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a kindly non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and I run a lovely advice clinic. Please bring me your problems and I will solve them, forever.

THIGH Thank God!
Please park up and rescue us from this coup.

Oh god lad, we have been well and truly infiltrated. I don't even DO the school run!

But please may I still have a safety pony?

THIGH

thigh hurry up back!

I cannot control them! I tried to just talk about murders and Winka as usual but they all went random mad. I tried to put them to sleep with a drip but they stayed up and carried on with it!

Come back and restore chaos to our th'land!

Just a small one, he'd be no trouble.

THIGH HOW CAN I SHOUT LOUDER WITHOUT SITTING UP?

THIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

EMERGENCY!!!!

I would call him tiddlywink, winkie for short.

Quick. All the OGs (original gangsters) grab hands across t'interweb and chant "Fuckboys, plaztic sheeting, river, slanket, integral garage, Fuckboys" on repeat until Thigh thunders in (see what I did there?! Thunder Thighs?! Gufawww!!) astride Elsa and rescues us.

Yes, yes, DT we must talk about murders, fuckboys and plastic sheeting.
It will keep us in the zone until our GLORIOUS LEADER saves us from fruit based apostates.

Well I snapped awake at thunderthighs , cat

Where am I?

Ok, I've parked up to deal with this emergency and will read through last few pages. I'm probably going to have to issue disciplinary notices.

Where the fuck is Project our Prime Minster?

We CAN do this, we will make it through until teatime.

I had a nightmare about cheese cubes on sticks. That's not like me.

Haka Doble on the double !!!

HUUUUUUUAAAAAGH HAK HAK GNAAAAAAAARRGHG

Rabbits the rot started with you. I see it was a fairly innocent request for a shapeless, baggy dress with large pockets. OK - perhaps you meant to talk about slankets, I see no obvious counter revolutionary talk yet.

Draw a pentagram made from monster munch crumbs mushed with gin / wodka/ winka / crayons around yourselves too. Continue chanting "Fuckboys, plastic sheeting, river" etc.

Thigh!!! Hellenback!!! Quick!

So, just to be clear, nobody's getting a winkie?

67 and Thislido - you lost your minds - you posted links fit only for S&B - in Thighland! What possessed you?

Pooter I know you were talking about sewing and we may need those skillz for injuries as we don't have a Thighdoctor - but really, you encouraged them. That's not like you.

Fuckboys
Plastic Sheeting
Rivers
Garage
Murders
Winka
Slanket
Fuckboys
Haka Doble
Bastard Cat
Dark Lord
Rugby Ball Trick
TRA

HEEEEEEEAAAAAAAANNGGGGG RAAAAAAGH GAHHHHH GA GA

Monster Munch
Wotsits
Willy willy not
Shrodinger's cat
Herpes

My Dad used to say 'There's a rabbit away there' when he thought there was something dodgy going on.

Your punishment thislido and 67 and rabbits is to bleach your bumholes.

Pooter on the fence about your mini crime, you're forgiven.

Cat Dangly and Lad* good work, I'm proud of you all.

Cat Is that a picture of me? OK, it's lovely but a bit ummm favourable rather than realistic. But thanx - or is it you?

Piss
Elsa
Sofa
Naps
Snax
Wodka

Thigh I am so ashamed, I let my guard down and I should have just changed the conversation. I forgot that careless talk costs lives because I was too busy with make do and mend

I have been a victim of too much Government Propaganda so from now on I will spurn their advice.