Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a kindly non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and I run a lovely advice clinic. Please bring me your problems and I will solve them, forever.

dangly is correct re body disposal. But thigh will give you a quote. Or is it an estimate? Never sure.

Pooter that is true! Many times I hear someone being slaughtered in the peaceful lane where I live, then I realise it was just a car backfiring and no need to call the murder squad.

So I snuggle back down into my slanket and snooze instead.

Pooter I think she will estimate a quote!

I think she will quote a dictator.

The bloody link wont

If you go to next and search linen t shirt dress it should be there

Effing hell. DANGER, DANGER! HELLENBACK! We need you! We've been stealth invaded by S&B!

Meanwhile, in honour of Thigh's long defunct thread and in spirit of 'vision on' thread has taken, I've made a art too.

Aaarghh

Righto then, machine gun it is. I'll be making inquiries about quotes soon.

MrsCatE that is a good art.

I know fuck all about art so can't really say much of anything else and also might be completely wrong, but I like it and that is what counts gavel

MrsCat I wish to make a statement for the record! I'll admit to any murders I did past and future but:

I was never involved in the S&B conversation at all and clicked on no corresponding links to dresses (except the one that thislido said could be for Thighland Awards Ceremony because am a terminal nosybonk) Anyhow, I wasn't interested and didn't do it.

So can you tell Hellen to arrest the others but not me please and thank you.

Beautiful artwork btw! Most impressive skillz!!

Billywig I do like your gavel! I use one too sometimes and it can sometimes double as a weapon!

Nonsense, keeping out thisters in linen sacks is very Thigh.

I like some of those Oska ones lido but they're quite expensive. I am not bleaching my bung hole!

CarolinePooter I've made Japanese smocks/overall things out of curtains and blankets, it's basically just a rectangle with straps but the m not sure about a dress. I think I'll have a go, what's the worse that can happen?

Oh were they all sacks thislido that's ok then I do apologise, I only saw the one sack and thought it was a special thigh one!

I dare not click on pretty dresses as the last time I did that through nosiness I ended up with Bonmarche spam instead of gin and virgin trains!

False alarm MrsCat. Tell Hellen not to arrest anyone at all!

preens

Was it the bon marché curtain dress by any chance?

That's been following me around since I clicked on it

rabbits maybe you can steal one. There’s a shop in Hampstead. I can recommend a nice place for tea afterwards.

Are we sure linen sacks?? I think one step to Roland Mouret Victoria Beckham's AW collection. This is the woman who did tents one season and then updated with cat print.

Oh for fucks sake, I've been infected now. I'm plugging the Gin IV back in and oozing back into my chaise longue - before my slanket turns into crumpled, scratchy linen abomination.

rabbits loads of diy instructions on interweb it would be fab! If it goes tits up you'll have a year's supply of dishcloths, anyhow, so win-win!

It was the thread entitled "Is this THIS year's School Run Dress?" and was mutually decided by almost everyone in the world that NO it bloody well WASN'T!

Oh Pooter you need to switch off an relax, would you like some Winka in your drip?

I meant MrsCat with the Winka offer.

Pooter is already napping!

Oh no she isn't she is here!

Sod it - anyone want a pint of Winka straight into their pulmonary?

I could do with a pint or two.

It's sounds... Medicinal

Driving but...........dresses! Links to dresses? Wtaf? Will deal with this when cops not watching me drive.

Well.
Links to frocks?!?
We have been infiltrated, what shift is Hellenback on?
Where is Thigh?
We need guidance, I think pinapplegore has something to do with this, there are entryist sock puppets in our midst.
Dresses for school runs? runs? runs???
What is this? Apostasy?
Body snatchers?
Next we'll be talking about bleaching the loo for visitors.
We have lost our way.
She can't leave us alone for a minute.

Maybe I want a jumpsuit. OMG what's happening. In future any links to S&B should be accompanied by a pinch of salt thrown over the shoulder.

MrsCat I like your understated elegance. A string of pearls under our slanket, that's all we need for the school run.