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Original poster

I can solve all your problems, forever

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/03/2019 20:41

I'm a self appointed non medically trained kindly interested nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and welcome you to my advice clinic.

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M3lon · 28/03/2019 15:09

I realised last night that I can now restring a rubiks magic without using the internet and hence have achieved literally everything on my bucket list.

Dear thigh may I now retire to damp slanket heaven, I've got a diet coke and monstermunch drip all hooked up...can I just turn it on and slip off into eternal bliss?

M3lon · 28/03/2019 15:11

I will obviously leave my drip feed stash to #NC Carolinepooter in my will, as she has always needed it more than me....

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 28/03/2019 15:52

M3 you are so clever that sometimes it's hard for me. Are you saying you are going to kill yourself or that you are seeking my permission to be content? Either way my response is: Cool, congratz.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 28/03/2019 15:56

oak did the biscuits Miaow before you opened the box?

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Preggosaurus9 · 28/03/2019 16:09

Considering a slanket. Do I have to watch teleshopping to get one?

The 50% off Lovehoney sale didn't have any yesterday. #sadlyjust sextoys

Yayswimming · 28/03/2019 16:09

How do I stop my nearly 2 year old dd from shouting 'NO, my (nose/ water/ nappy/ hair/ shoes' at the top of her voice whenever I try to give her basic care please?

M3lon · 28/03/2019 16:14

How to know you've outstayed your welcome on a thread: Someone tells you, you are too clever and then gives their permission for you to kill yourself!

Dearest thighlanders it has been fun, and of course reverse improving, to see this glimpse of your world...I'll let you about your business with warmest wishes for damp slankets and snax unending.

M3lon · 28/03/2019 16:15

and whenever I see the beacons of thigland lit in AIBU I'll make sure that Rohan stands ready.

CarolinePooter · 28/03/2019 16:16

M3 well thank you kindly, I always need to plan ahead!! But please don't depart just yet.....

Bucket list eh? Whoever came up with that term? I would feel so anxious being confronted with one. Mine is more of a fuck it list and is extremely long.

DanglyTassles · 28/03/2019 16:44

M3 y'no you really shouldn't go around killing yourself! It will take far too much energy and is quite mentally taxing to plan properly I would have thought!

Why don't you just have a very long nap again and call it right. That will be far easier for you and we'd hate to lose a thister so will be much better all round!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 28/03/2019 17:23

M3 I was calling myself thick! Which is why I have a personal mathematician. Anyway, please neither leave nor kill yourself M3 but stay and piss in your slanket soothed by the drool that falls from my mouth.....

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Gettingnowhere · 28/03/2019 17:26

Yay, that's an easy one. Don't give her basic care. Send her into the forest to be raised by wolves

Gettingnowhere · 28/03/2019 17:27

Preggo despite what Thigh may tell you, I have very little knowledge of either Love Honey or teleshopping. But I imagine if you lie down long enough you could knit a slanket out of your own hair

Gettingnowhere · 28/03/2019 17:41

Pooter I LOVE the idea of a fuck it list.

M3 why are you leaving? Is it the smell?

CarolinePooter · 28/03/2019 17:48

yay be proud of your toddler's excellent vocabulary! If you get bored, though, try teaching her the terms in French, Latin etc. It will really annoy the other mums at nursery ;-)

CarolinePooter · 28/03/2019 17:50

getting it is the slippery slope though, before long you will give up on everything that needs the slightest effort......Oh, wait.....

CarolinePooter · 28/03/2019 17:51

m3 please come back!

DanglyTassles · 28/03/2019 17:52

I would like a fuck it list too!

I would put on it :

Getting up out of bed
Getting up off the sofa
Getting up
Getting (we are all fucking Getting because she is fit so she can be on a fuck it list too!)

Gettingnowhere · 28/03/2019 17:57

Hear that, Thigh? I'm fit 😁

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 28/03/2019 18:00

Getting fit / riddled with herpes meh all the same to me.

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CarolinePooter · 28/03/2019 18:03

dangly as your fuck it list gets longer, your stress levels start to fall. This the opposite of normal lists!

DanglyTassles · 28/03/2019 18:14

This is excellent Pooter , I must add more it's to fuck:

Making my own food (delegate to Fuckboy or DH or anyone who will)
Running own bath (likewise)
Receiving parcels from the postman (only if it's new slankets or food)

DanglyTassles · 28/03/2019 18:17

Dressing myself (will remain in pj's and slankets or naked)
Going to the toilet (will purchase a commode but who will get up to receive it from the postman? Fuck it, will crap self!)
Going upstairs (from now on I will just remain on the sofa forever)

Hey Pooter it works, this is very thigh indeed!!

Gettingnowhere · 28/03/2019 18:31

Thigh last time you said that we ended up at the sexual health clinic. Shall I get Elsa saddled up?

Gettingnowhere · 28/03/2019 18:34

Danga excellent work. I would clap, but clapping is not on the list.