Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

I can solve all your problems, forever

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/03/2019 20:41

I'm a self appointed non medically trained kindly interested nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and welcome you to my advice clinic.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 08:41

I have a grudging admiration for the way @MNHQ is trying to kill us. They know that my megalomania feeds off attention and they're ignoring us. Well we'll take the fight to them - where do they live?

Fuck off - I'm not going to Wigan on a train! NO WIGAN

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 08:43

Getting did you send me the ad for wide shoes? Are you jealous of my circular feet? And the bath lift? You should know by now that I have no shame.

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 08:47

I'm not used to this new "time" yet, I'm not really happy about it. I'm discombobulated - discoed if you will.

I'm still recovering from double double summer time back in the War when we ate Woolton Pie for breakfast and revered our leader, Winnie.

Remember the old days Pooter when you used to slag it up with Churchy and his cigar?

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 08:49

Pooter it's probs all those cigars up your fanny that has caused your incontinence. Always be thinking ahead my girl, as Winnie would say to you whilst bombing Dresden.

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 08:51

A new ad! "Just Fashion Now" - a bit of a non sequitur surely. How does that work as a sentence? Fucking hell - £168 perfume now. How? It's the first of the month, direct debit day. Lucky if I can afford some chips to smear on myself as perfume today.

OP posts:
ProjectGainsborough · 01/04/2019 08:52

Interesting. I’m getting ads for a computer game called world war rising. Followed by tea. This is more like it.

Good luck with the condoms today M3

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 08:52

Just thinking about if I apply for a Disabled Blue Parking Permit:

Is my megalomania crippling enough?

Is being disgruntled a disability?

OP posts:
ProjectGainsborough · 01/04/2019 08:54

Just crayon your own thigh.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 08:54

Project what does "Just Fashion Now" mean? Is it a taunt? If it's meant to be an enticement it's not working.

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 08:55

Project of course, how silly of me. I keep forgetting about the crayoning, I have so many things to crayon.

OP posts:
ProjectGainsborough · 01/04/2019 08:55

Life insurance with a picture of a very old man. Is this an inticement to find a new husband, I wonder?

ProjectGainsborough · 01/04/2019 08:56

Yes, mandatory fashion. We must fight this

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 08:57

M3 if you don't have condoms you might get knocked up by a ghost cock and then where would we all be? No one here's helping you with that baby.

OP posts:
Gettingnowhere · 01/04/2019 08:57

Shut up Thigh. I know exactly how you're going to reply to Project

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 08:58

Getting yeah, right, you'll never beat me. Your herpes always gets in the way.

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 08:59

Alright Getting a duel, you be me and I'll be you. Gimme 5 though, need a coffee and fag.

OP posts:
MidnightBlue28 · 01/04/2019 09:02

Changes lying down position so she has a clear view of Getting and Thigh duelling but can still reach her snacks

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:08

Oh boo hoo, I love Thigh so much but she's never asked me to marry her and be a sister wife! Can I ingratiate myself with my fellatio?

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:09

I'm an elf and so short that I have to kiss Thigh's knee rather than her arse.

OP posts:
Gettingnowhere · 01/04/2019 09:10

Wait, I need coffee

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:10

Ok, me too.

OP posts:
Gettingnowhere · 01/04/2019 09:14

Did someone say something? I thought I heard a little noise? No

Gettingnowhere · 01/04/2019 09:15

Must have just been a fart

DogHairEverywhere · 01/04/2019 09:19

Oops, sorry, that might have been me, farting Blush

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:20

Ooh harsh words, Thigh why are you so mean to me? I love you sooooo much Flowers

OP posts: