I can solve all your problems, forever

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a self appointed non medically trained kindly interested nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and welcome you to my advice clinic.

Right, new law passed that the consequences of cyber monitoring are being forced to do the game of thrones walk of shame through London, nude, while being pelted with fruit.

And new charity set up for the woefully under represented set of women who just don’t want to get out of bed. The Royal Society for the Protection of Women Who Don't Want To Get Out Of, Bed or the RSPWWDWTOGOOB.

Has a ring to it, no?

Can we just shorten it to "Goob"?

I like you as PM Project You are a mover and a shaker, getting things done from your slanket.

Dynamite!!

Doesn’t shortening it to GOOB mean we have to Get Out Of Bed?

Oh no - I've got an ad from Virgin Trains saying "Psst don't tell the lads - London to Glasgow". I have to tell my dogs, they're the only lads I know!

I don't get this thread, is it meant to be funny or ..........?

Absolutely not, Pineapple

GOOB is dangerously close to Gwynnie's fanny steaming website GOOP. That could be a help to us.

Is it just loads of smug (I'm so clever) rubbish.....?

Well I think that you are what's wrong with Mumsnet.

Dangles there's a thread in AIBU saying "Help me sober up" - should we help? Would that be.....wrong?

Of course not, Pineapple. We're trying to seriously help people improve their lives. We have a couple of scientists, but otherwise we're thick as shit

thigh She needs to stay pissed! Why is she questioning this?

Project after Bx will there be a dystopian apocalypse? That would be super funz! I've always wanted to take up arms and live on Fanta because the water has corpses in it.

Dangles something about sobering up for the school run - duh - uber!

But congratulations, in five threads of solving people's problems, you're the first person to suggest the problem might be us. Thigh how do we solve ourselves?

Getting is it 5 threads or 6? That's our first problem there, learning to count. We're fucked if we can't do that.

Well your always best off pissed on the school run!

Maybe her DH does cat's arse face and she can't be doin with it!

See, Pineapple we're not clever at all. Some of us can't even count to six

Can you teach us to count in Danish, Thigh?

So wait, what should we work on first? Being less smug, or less clever?

Project I think if we're less clever, then we'll definitely be less smug. Thigh cancel the Danish counting lessons

Well there's silly and then there's stupid Pineapple. Or are you the man from Del Monte?

Doesn’t the school run happen in the morning? That is some impressive drinking

Project I thought you just made a law against time?

I think we are both clever and not clever plus we are smug and not smug at the same time!