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I can solve all your problems, forever

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/03/2019 20:41

I'm a self appointed non medically trained kindly interested nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and welcome you to my advice clinic.

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DogHairEverywhere · 30/03/2019 19:46

I'm trying to get these wires sorted, but my vision keeps going double.
Perhaps I need a top up of my wine and gin mix, the Zoflora cocktail.

M3lon · 30/03/2019 19:48

(we could use all manner of hair torturing implements as a shrapnel layer - that might help point the blame at Pauline...)

pineapplebryanbrown · 30/03/2019 19:52

Rollers! Bad. Condensed speech.

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DanglyTassles · 30/03/2019 20:13

thigh what is wrong! Have you been inhalng the zoflora, step away!

Send in the armed response!! Thigh is condensing her speech!!!

DogHairEverywhere · 30/03/2019 20:30

"they've" heard about the bomb making and have caused Thigh's speech to become condensed, to stop us... What should we do? Abandon the bomb to save thigh, or continue with the bomb in her memory?
I'll just top up my wine/gin mix while I think about things.

pineapplebryanbrown · 30/03/2019 20:45

Russians.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 30/03/2019 20:46

Yoghurt. Getting.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 30/03/2019 20:47

@

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DanglyTassles · 30/03/2019 20:51

@Gettingnowhere please help! I think thigh wants a yoghurt!

She might also want a Russian!

DogHairEverywhere · 30/03/2019 21:00

Does she want a Russian yoghurt?

pineapplebryanbrown · 30/03/2019 21:02

Kitchen

I can solve all your problems, forever
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DanglyTassles · 30/03/2019 21:07

OMG that PaulineBot has got her again!!

I could have sworn we terminated her a while back! It's either that or she's had too much Sultana Bran!

thigh do a big poo and it'll all go away!!

Gettingnowhere · 30/03/2019 21:13

Getting buzzing sensation in brain is it Thigh? Is she sending me a message? I'm getting images of blueberries and cows. Cows fermenting. Bacteria swimming all about...
Yogurt!! That's it!!! Yogurt

She must have thrush again

pineapplebryanbrown · 30/03/2019 21:15

Russians help chess.

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bordellosboheme · 30/03/2019 21:17

I moved by mistake. I want to move back. But burned my bridges job wise. Wwyd??

DogHairEverywhere · 30/03/2019 21:17

Is it a code? I've read it backwards, then every other letter, but it's not making much sense.

I'll just top up my gin and wine.

pineapplebryanbrown · 30/03/2019 21:21

Yoghurt! Help me. Blueberry yoghurt.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 30/03/2019 21:30

It's ok, i saved myself because you are all pissed. I was trapped in a Russian chess grandmaster game Karpov v Korchnoi and we were only allowed to communicate via blueberry yoghurt. It's was difficult for me, but i escaped.

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Gettingnowhere · 30/03/2019 21:42

You should have communicated with vodka. We would have got that

DanglyTassles · 30/03/2019 21:42

Oh well done thigh .

Good job as well because we have an actual problem to solve for bordello !

bordello could you not sleep with your ex-boss and tape it therefore forcing him via blackmail to find you plumb position at your old place?

Gettingnowhere · 30/03/2019 21:45

Hi Bordello! Welcome to Thighland. Were there "managers" on the bridges when you burnt them? If so, well done. Full marks

pineapplebryanbrown · 30/03/2019 21:46

Bordello is the name a clue? What have you done to burn your bridges? Awkward when you slag it up in the office, i know.

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Gettingnowhere · 30/03/2019 21:59

When Bordello first posted about making a wrong move, I thought she was just trying to help you escape from Russian chess masters Thigh

ProjectGainsborough · 30/03/2019 22:38

The thing about bordellos is they work everywhere. Transferable skills innit.

Let’s open a bordello. Bordello can you help us?

PettyLaBelle · 30/03/2019 22:39

Anyone want a haunted bomb? It works well on tiny vampires, should anyone need help with that. Also I’ve got a fuckload of Petty Feeloooo for the CenterPark/childcatcher bus.