I can solve all your problems, forever

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a self appointed non medically trained kindly interested nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and welcome you to my advice clinic.

Yes we can build a bomb thigh ! (great skillz o'thleader btw)

Can all the scientists come over and teach us bomb assembly skillz. it doesn't have to be a good bomb just very dangerous and toxic.

Or we could solve the problem of the charmingly saccharine children next door with thislido's child-catching bus? She's found it again and it looks good to go (to Center Parks).

Dangles i feel a bit embarrassed about my towering intellect when in the company of these maths n science honeys. I've never met anyone i respect before and I don't know how to behave. What should I do?

The cheery children deffo need to go to Centre Parks on Thislido's bus. They're ruining my life!

My ad says

TriYoga

That's a hate crime, I'm devastated.

I need to lose 2 stone in 8 weeks...doable?

67 we haven't seen you for ages.

You're approaching this weight loss goal from the wrong angle. You're not fat, you're cautious. There could be a nuclear winter at any time and only the fat will survive. Do you have a slanket? You should.

thigh don't feel intimidated or discombobulated about the superior intellect of the professors they will likely have no common sense (no offence guys) and neither have the rest of us so we're all the same in Thighland! No need for respect or anything!

Fuck, VirginTrains are trying to make me take a journey from London to Warrington by train - why?

Dangles are you getting ads for Yoga and Gin? Plus an invitation to Warrington?

I've never knowingly been to Warrington, I have no enemies there.

Good gracious thigh !!

NC cos outing you must be headed to my house! I don't live in Warrington but not too far! Shall I send a fuckboy for you?

Wait!! We are not allowed guests!!! Aaaagh what to do??

Dangles i will come to your house not to visit, simply to collect an offering. Do you have a dog i could have? A lion cub? A singing chipmunk?

True story. When i was 6 i asked my Dad for a singing chipmunk. Of course he said I could have one. I told my teacher who said they didn't exist. So, Mrs Whitehouse jinxed me and prevented me from having a singing chipmunk. If she's not dead we can add her to the hit list.

Helloooooo.

Yes, its been awhile. Sadly I haven't been holed up with sexy geography teacher, but I've been busy on protest marches, emailing twats and eating....lots of eating!

I DO have a slanket! I shall don it forthwith.

I am certainly Brexit proof fat stores wise....

Hahaha.

Warrington holds no fear for me!

I've been on a picnic with methodists....😟🙄🤬

Oh good!! I have a freshly stocked cupboard of singing chipmunks!!

All come to (near) Warrington! NC !! I shall issue them one at a time!

(Nutella plan a partial success. The escaping hoards of 1cm high vampires mostly got stuck in the nutella and....well I'm sorry to say...they kinda melted. Unfortunately about 5% of them made it through and they look pissed. They've disappeared back into mists of the netherworld where they are undoubtedly planning there escape as we speak)

(I'm covered in raw patches where they burst out, but I plan to just let the slanket form a second skin. The blood is sticking it to me nicely anyway.)

M3 , I don't want to sound judgy, but it doesn't sound as if you're taking you skin care regime seriously. Erupting pus filled postules!, I'm not sure you'll get too much sex tonight on Saturday sex night, especially now that MrShin is not available.

I've been busy trying to list my skillz, but I'm having trouble getting started. Turns out I don't have any.

Dog we're making nucular weapons tonight #Dubya

Isn't one of your skillz getting pissed? Dangly has listed that on hers, just above murder.

Awesome.

Put me down for a couple of short range warheads.

Cheers.

Is it too early for a pint of wine laced with gin laced with vodka?

Before we carefully make our bomb?

Dangles i thought you used gin as "ironing water" and had been spraying it into your mouth all day.

To make our nucular weapons we will need to gather our Manhattan Project together. That's M3 she's already here even though she's dead.

We'll also need Fermat and Naked.

I need to nap first though. Also what weapons do we need and who are we going to destroy. It can't be the cheery children cos bomb would kill me too.

That'll have to be wet work, an operative.

Mossad! Or NKVD, they're feisty.

I shall attempt to deploy the forces:

@FermatsTheorem

@nakedscientist

@M3lon

Now have I spelled you all correctly?

thigh you were testing me!! AS IF I would know what 'ironing water was!! Why I have not ironed a garment since God we're a lad!

DH doesn't need shirts for his chosen career as a bottle opener!