Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

I can solve all your problems, forever

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/03/2019 20:41

I'm a self appointed non medically trained kindly interested nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and welcome you to my advice clinic.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
pineapplebryanbrown · 29/03/2019 21:12

Cock I'll have a massage as long as i don't have to put piss up my nostrils from a mini watering can.

OP posts:
ProjectGainsborough · 29/03/2019 21:12

Donga my yoni already is a basement

thislido · 29/03/2019 21:12

Junior ISAs. My references to children have confused the algorithm.

ProjectGainsborough · 29/03/2019 21:13

lido I want to say no. I really do.

thislido · 29/03/2019 21:14

I think the alogorithm knows, Project

LargeDonga · 29/03/2019 21:15

Project I'm putting your name down, that sounded like a yes to me.

Anyone else? It's very good for your chakra's and will make you very horny, your husband's can watch if that's their bag?

pineapplebryanbrown · 29/03/2019 21:15

Oh disgusto! Yoghurts for babies - little yeos - little cunts more like.

OP posts:
thislido · 29/03/2019 21:15

Do Country Life still have the equivalent of a fully-clothed Page 3 girl?

ProjectGainsborough · 29/03/2019 21:16

So wait, you’ll be massaging yonis from inside my yoni?

I’ll have to charge you ground rent

pineapplebryanbrown · 29/03/2019 21:16

I SAID YES

OP posts:
thislido · 29/03/2019 21:16

I just had that one thigh. It’s bait for the little buggers.

pineapplebryanbrown · 29/03/2019 21:17

My ad says Threat Intelligence! Finally, an admission.

OP posts:
WeeDangerousSpike · 29/03/2019 21:20

I'm a Nac Mac Feegle! My dangerousness is genetic!

LargeDonga · 29/03/2019 21:20

Wait Project are you offering me new premises?

Ok I'll massage everyone's yoni from your yoni! Done!

Roll up ladies! Come on!

Hey!! How can I get my yoni massage ads to appear in the MN sidebar? You'll all be talking about it then!

pineapplebryanbrown · 29/03/2019 21:21

Copycat fragrances, bit much when they even try to sell you name brands. It actually says - copycat fragrances. Depressing.

OP posts:
pineapplebryanbrown · 29/03/2019 21:22

^don't even try

OP posts:
LargeDonga · 29/03/2019 21:23

thigh you're booked.

Come on everyone sign up! I need the money to fund my crystal meth habit!

Yoni's get yer Massaged Yoni's 'ere!! 3 for a quid!! Cheap at half the price!!

pineapplebryanbrown · 29/03/2019 21:24

I said yes to a free massage you knobgobbler, why are you ignoring me.

OP posts:
pineapplebryanbrown · 29/03/2019 21:25

Oh alright, cheers. Thought i wasn't getting enough attention for a minute then. Made me a bit twitchy.

OP posts:
ProjectGainsborough · 29/03/2019 21:25

Do you think they’d sell more or less yoghurts if they were named Little Cunts?

Gettingnowhere · 29/03/2019 21:26

We've been infiltrated by a "man" again!! Where's our guard dog?!

LargeDonga · 29/03/2019 21:28

I've booked you in already, so stop moaning, Eee you're just like the Mrs! Yours is on Tuesday! I'm doing your yoni inside *Project's' yoni!

That Project's a peace of work, charging me for the premises, how's a guy to build a legit business with all these expenses!

pineapplebryanbrown · 29/03/2019 21:28

Well that's interesting Project hmm, it would put some mummies off but then there's all the slags with infections.

OP posts:
thislido · 29/03/2019 21:29

It’s ok getting, once’s he’s lured in with the yoni we can kill him.

ProjectGainsborough · 29/03/2019 21:31

After donga’s finished massaging yonis inside my yoni, I might need some fromage frais