I can solve all your problems, forever

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a self appointed non medically trained kindly interested nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and welcome you to my advice clinic.

thislido!!!!

Thislido you've been lost, we've sent messages to your other username.

We need to outlaw name changes, we need to be able to put out alerts.

I keep getting adverts for work life balance. I’ve been away too long.

What do I type into the box to get it to know the real me?

Kalashnikov
Malevolent dictator
Chocolate

I'm getting ads for gin!

Thislido we've been in advert hell. Project is being forced to get a new, better job and I'm being talked into a vacuum cleaner.

Nipple tassles

Gin and sausages?

Rugby ball

Piss

Skoda! I'm being offered a Skoda, it's not a vacuum cleaner at least.

Why is it asking me if I want an MOT? What does it know??

Is it a ride on vacuum cleaner? I feel that might have a use.

Thislido well done on emptying the world of children, they make me sick.

I’m being offered tea now. I like tea.

Solmar villas! It's getting to know me.

Blow or suck lido?

That’s where the ride on vacuum would come in. It would save having to net them.

I'm getting cheap clothes online now. What are they trying to say about my fashion sense?

I suppose we could blast them away. But they might come back. Maybe if a pack of dogs dug us a pit first...

Oh God. Liberty, a sale at Liberty. Why? I'd rather try hard at work than buy fabrics.

Fuck me! They've just told me I should be taking vitamins!!! Nooooooo!!!!

I’m still just getting jobs. Seriously, I have never ever ever googled anything about work. I just don’t have the interest. How does it know?

Bikini

Modern art